it’s 3 AM in the morning and my thoughts are wandering to the day when i finally meet the one that I’m going to marry

it will be Tuesday
i bet that i'll wake up 27 minutes late 'cause i spend the night before going out with my girls
i'll have too much gin and even drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend on my way home
the next morning, my head probably hurts like hell
i'll forget to put my highlighter on 'cause it's nowhere to be found
clock's ticking, i'll grab my favorite elephant heels and drive past the street
i'll stop by at my favorite coffee shop and you'll be arriving exactly 5 seconds before that
you'll open the door and hold it up for me,
i won't forget to say thank you
we'll order the same coffee and share a quick smile at the cashier
you'll smell like a sweet sunset
i'll notice your brown eyes, not knowing that i'll be looking at them everyday for the rest of my life
you'll share a bad joke to me, it is bad i must admit
but we'll laugh anyway and secretly hoping to see each other again the next day

and we will be
and the day after that
and everyday for the next two months

we will fall in love, easily
and i'll be grateful for waking up 27 minutes late that Tuesday morning

yet she's so nice-
one struggles not to dream
for she's so nice-
yet not as cruel as it seems

hard to imagine-
imagining that she thinks alike
never, don't be stupid-
not in a million years, alright

but then a tap comes to greet me,
on my back not discretely
I swear I jumped slightly-
when she sat right beside me

Let the wind
carry sweet whispers of my love
to you
Let yours echo
Calling back to me
Through the winds of the trees
Bustling
Kisses and ever good wishes
Eternal in my heart
To yours
And back and forth
And back
Until it is in your arms, I reside

I’ve been having nightmares and mostly about you – the you in the future, the one who’s bound to un-love me anyways, regardless of how well our love story turns out. It pains me to have nightmares about those because I know at one point it will become a reality. In those dreams, its always one and the same, the moment where I lose you, the moment where I have to let you go and the moment where I have to give you up because you’re bound for better things and I am just a moment that passed by.

I’ve been trying not to count the moments I have with you but I can’t help it at times. I feel like every day could be the last and I cannot begin to think of when that day comes. I know I’ll never be ready. I know that these dreams will never get me to be prepared for the biggest nightmare, that is, the day that I lose you.