you would run
you would run fast and away from me if I ever told you how I go to sleep each night imagining your laying in my arms your leg slipped between mine our feet sticking out the end of the blanket with your socks matching and mine, not even the same size

you would run
you would run so fast and away from me if I ever told you how I wake up each morning imagining it is your hand that stretches out of the warmth of our embrace to face the coldness of my room to turn off the alarm before burying your face into my arm saying just five more minutes

you would run
you would run so fast and so far away if I told you that the only reason I chose to live is so i do not disappoint you that my only motivation is you
which makes it so much worse when I sit there in late nights a bade in one hand and the other over my mouth tears and silent screams escaping as i realise this ends in one of two ways with death after a long and happy life or death when you realise I am a  dead soul trying not to lie and cheat
so run, run now and run fast for I am a time bomb but I shall throw myself away so I do not take you with me

it wasnt easy
passing you in the hallways
it wasnt easy  
watching things go on without me there
it wasnt easy
feeling alone
it wasnt easy doing what i did
but i wasnt going to ruin anything else
it still isnt easy
i see you in the halls
i see you with them being perfectly okay
i'm still alone
no one has ever really stood by me
i wish you had

his lips tasted like cranberry juice
cranberry juice and gin
he had *** earlier
but nothing
will ever be as strong as that cranberry

cranberry
simple
complete
cranberry

everyday my sister takes a glass
a red glass
a cup
and she fills it with cranberry juice
takes a sip
and that´s when i fall apart

cranberry juice
him
me
and cranberry juice

red cranberry juice
never ha a drink turned so sinister
i miss that cranberry taste
your lips on mine
but i promise i don´t miss you
i can´t miss you

someday
i will be able to taste again
but you numbed my taste buds
numbed me

do you still drink it
you you even remember
what you drank that night

do you remember
how much you smoked
i could smell it
taste it
but nothing was stronger
or sweeter
than lose cranberry lips

hold me again like that
ask if i´m okay

let me taste your cranberry lips again
i´ll stop calling you my monster
let me have another taste
i miss your lovely lips
the scruff of a beard coming in

guys with beards remind me of you
but everything reminds me of you

your beard
scruff
it was scratchy
but pleasantly mixed with cranberry

i wasn´t a fan of cranberry
then i was the biggest

now i can´t even look at a bottle the same

For the sake of love
Let us build a fortress anew
and forget the ruins we used to dwell on.
Reveries that made us linger
more than we were supposed
promises made,
Tears shed,
And hearts torn apart.
Let us imagine the next chapter has arrived,
to paint our bleary minds pitch black
or a promising white.
Since dark is a vivid variation of light
And innocent eyes will take note of it.
We need to talk to lilies more
and see the devil in each sip of champagne
swallowed without a taste.
We need to cry more, and write of love
to quench the hell that echoes our pain
thrice more than it ought to...

What is this fickle world,
where not everything is as it seems.
Who am I truly?
Forever changing & evolving into something more or less.
My world is as a sandstorm in a desert.
I flutter along with the motions,
nothing more & nothing less.
I call out to you from the deepest depths of my heart.
Do you feel me?
Do you hear my cries?
Come save me.
Wrap me up in you.
Come save me.
^.°♡°.^