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Yashita May 2020
I become a ticking time bomb
Right when my mood swings
Starts to play hide and seek with me
It shows up at my doorstep
Enters without even a ring
I am not afraid of it not knocking
Before entering my sacred space
For the person I become after
My mood swings play with me
Like I am a Voodoo doll to it
Moulding me into shapes or figures
That will hurt me and leave a scar
Drives me like it's favourite car on road
Just with one not so decent surprise
It drives me with alcohol brimming out
Certainly, I am vicariously liable for all
Although, there is no time leash
Mood swings leave the home
When it has done enough damage
Sometimes even beyond repair
Tying my hands tight with remorse
That I am unable to mend
I am out of control
When my mood swings kick in
As soon as I calm down after its departure
My real life and damage
Starts to punch in my gut real bad
I am in an endless struggle with it.
muteD Dec 2019
Tic, tic, tic
I am a ticking time bomb
and I’ve been doused in gasoline.
I feel like I’ve been snagged
on a fishing line
and I’m being reeled in.
A fish hook in my heart?
My heart is liable to drain.
Have you seen a drained heart?
It looks empty
about as empty as I feel.
This is all over the place.
I guess it is true what they say,
you lose your mind before you lose
your life..
which would mean
Death should be honored.
I am close to Death and
Death is close to me.
What do you think the title should be?
Millie Jul 2019
Tick tick tick
The time bomb no one saw coming
Except me
And I watched helplessly
Emotion so far from me
As it all went down
you would run
you would run fast and away from me if I ever told you how I go to sleep each night imagining your laying in my arms your leg slipped between mine our feet sticking out the end of the blanket with your socks matching and mine, not even the same size

you would run
you would run so fast and away from me if I ever told you how I wake up each morning imagining it is your hand that stretches out of the warmth of our embrace to face the coldness of my room to turn off the alarm before burying your face into my arm saying just five more minutes

you would run
you would run so fast and so far away if I told you that the only reason I chose to live is so i do not disappoint you that my only motivation is you
which makes it so much worse when I sit there in late nights a bade in one hand and the other over my mouth tears and silent screams escaping as i realise this ends in one of two ways with death after a long and happy life or death when you realise I am a  dead soul trying not to lie and cheat
so run, run now and run fast for I am a time bomb but I shall throw myself away so I do not take you with me
Samantha Lora Feb 2017
They touched my heart
Never left
Not the first time
Not the second time
Not even the last
"We can make it"
"I can't stop talking to you"
I smiled
Not because I believed them
But because you proved to me
You cared more than you want to show
I know its a lie
Even if you don't
Its not that I don't believe in us
In you
Its that i know us
And i know you
You want to fight battles alone
Even if I try to cover you
You'd push me out of the way
As far as you can
You don't want people there
You wont let me be there
So I'll let you lie again
Believing with every ounce
Every spot in space that you see
That you and I can do this
But I know the darkness will creep in soon
And make this go away
Just know you are my love
Not only in this life
But every other life we live in
cassiopeia miel Jan 2016
[ Six-feet deep; I'm at the edge of collapse and still losing sleep, with lapse in judgements, and promises I can't keep. I'm sorry to cause all this worry, but I'm in such a hurry to get somewhere I can bear; maybe I'm just self-centred, I mean, God knows I'm ill-tempered; I'm a bomb needing to be diffused; and I'm tired of being constantly refused. Pull out the pin and let me reveal the tiger within. Crush me underfoot, like dry autumn leaves; grace in their falling; beauty even in dying. I will not scream in protest as you crack my poor bones. (This is the warmest I've felt in years.) // You glossed me over in varnish, a sparkling veneer to fill my cracks and mend my chips. A second coast of kerosene, you toss the match and I'm up in flames; snap, crackle, pop my bones in the heat 'til nothing remains. I'm addicted to the concept of living, so it's too bad that my own existence is a lie. Leave me at your back door endlessly wishing, wanting, craving after you've kicked off your dancing shoes; this invitation was long overdue. Here's my RSVP to an illicit rendez-vous, party of two, just me and you. ]

[ Drag these razorblades over my arms, creating chasms across the landscape of my body; skin and sin. These canyons fill with red, rivers. Fireworks explode in my head like an epilepsy-inducing lightshow. An absence of pain in the face of a crimson rain; a stone-cold numbness. A cold breeze rolls in off the shore and I'm not sure what I'm livin' for anymore. ]

[ Was it this way all the time?

I'm a degenerate, a ***, filth-slicked scab.

Can't stop picking; let me see bone and muscle.


i want to ***** forever

exist??? why...


points of light and reason in an endless sea of black.

how do you job?

How do you house.

im sorry mom. i tried, i lost.

i tried. i lost.

i tried. i lost.

i tried. i lost. credit balance: empty. insert more tokens?

****, i'm all sharp broken edges; ripped old "fragile: glass" stickers

look, but dont touch, lest I sink into your pores and make you just as spiteful, bitter, broken like me.

go ahead, drop-kick me across the Milky Way. im misery personified contagious outrageous



you either die young and free, or you live long enough to just become another gear in the machine.

i'm so ****** tired. so ****** tired. (I feel you Atlas.)
Stfuitsjordan Dec 2014
I guess this is it,
I guess its finally done.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised,
I knew I wasn't the one.

I don't know what I was expecting from you
I know I can't expect it to be me you choose.
All I know is I was certian I was ready to
start pushing you away,
and in this time you've found someone to fill in my absent space.
For the record with that I will never be okay.

It is what it is, and I must let you go,
I never wanted to loose you
I don't know why I hadn't already lost hope.

As time has moved on
from you there is no sound,
just the ticking of me,
I'm now a time bomb.

I'm small & short fused,
feeling like I gave you all my love
& you've taken it just to abuse.

As my fuse grows shorter'
you distance yourself further.
I feel like my feelings are nothing but ******.
I can feel my self exploding
because I've held on for too long..
Suddley silence,
no more ticking, from me
the time bomb.
I hate the person in which I've become,
Holding resentment for all that I've done.
Facing my demons rather than to turn and run,
Heart beats in a rhythm, to you are the drum.

I understand that you must hate me, HA! I know you must,
This is obvious because. I. Hate. Me, so why wouldn't you?
Aren't all those things you've said to be nothing but true?
That no matter what, there's no way I can earn back your trust.

I would scream, I would punch and I would pray it do good,
Cause right now, what even is the use in being me?
Lost in the darkness I held at bay restricting my ability to see.
If things turned sour now, It'd be I who understood.

I'm done being me and all that I've become
No longer* do I wish to remain as I am
Any effort to strip myself of this inner self, shall do me good
I know ive lost you in my life, im just sure of it...
This be the sure the world will lose something in its life

What even would be the point?
A life without you just isn't worth living
Ive thrown myself in the trash...
Im just waiting for you to do the same so I can accept the miserable fact this is who I am

— The End —