I am your liar and thief,
now those older brutal bullies,
bow at your feet.
Those brutal mountains,
" can I get one on the cheap?"
surely, serve me,
and tell a mountain to leap,
and it will leap.
I am your liar and your thief,
remember when you closed your eyes,
and still you could see--
those mountains slumped,
when you served them me,
inside my tent-heavenly ecstasy,
I can get you past the thorny gate,
by feeling wondrous joy when you bleed,
I am your liar, and your thief,
buy four, get the fifth for cheap,
you entered my tent--
now I enter your dreams,
you ran out of me,
hurricane season in Charlestown it seems,
one step outside my eye,
and you lose my golden beams,
remember that one time in my tent,
you closed your eyes and still you could see,
now tonight you go to sleep,
and you ran out of my golden beam,
the doctor in your dream,
was feeding you to lobsters,
and she was Chinese,
come back to me,
to your liar and your thief,
this time, they don't get the fifth for cheap,
and now you not the mountains must leap,
remember how pathetic you felt,
fed alive to lobsters,
by the female Doctor in your dreams,
stick to my dwindling golden beam,
mountains of wreckage on this Charleston street,
its just you and me,
remember when you closed your eyes and still could see?
surely if you have enough faith,
those mountains again can get the fifth for cheap,
but for now I will help you sleep,
its just you and me now on this Charleston street,
mountains sure will look like they jump,
when you are crumbling debris,

I am forever your Liar,
I am forever your thief,
I can get you past that thorny gate--
by feeling wondrous joy when you bleed.

oh my god
not an exclamation
A call for help
it's all I think about
trade the blood in my veins
so it can run smooth
sweet bliss to black
wake up
graveyard

****** Leaves My System

Others — white and dark —
Order their coffee in environmental mugs.
You don’t get stars,
Only reused syringes.

****** leaves as joy —
A nub with no shadow.
Trauma’s shadow is bright white
In my pipe.

Who says addicts are unclean?
I scrape my pipe and cooker,
Shockingly clean.
I don’t get anything.
UC tomorrow —
Do you sleep sound?

The rush — excitement.
Why wrap so tight?
Don’t break the crack in the pipe.
Sounds like joy.
Smoke fills my lungs.
Yet I get nothing.
In burning light,
Where was my life?
Vapor fills the room.
Oh, there’s a feeling —
I’m content.
How about you?

Could you ***** yourself a hundred times
Just to feel a little?

Stop — there’s blood in the needle.
You think an ****** is good?
You’ve never seen blood mixed with life in a needle.
Trust me — don’t try.
You miss all the shots you don’t take.
Ones you don’t take can’t **** you.

I wish they would —
The ones that hit hurt more than the ones that miss.
Well, ask him:
******, needle, arm —
The true holy trinity.

Just ask Jesus —
Blood of Christ, blood of an addict,
Redeem me.

Needle exchange —
Well, I need a life exchange.
Maybe something sharper.
Sorry, I meant to say spare change.

The devils Hero is a dead addict.

So beautiful,
So ****,
So alluring
She may be.
She'll take it all
Even your soul.
And demand ever more.
Until all are gone.
To her you're just one more.
She'll take your money,
Family and friends.
Your very life.
She'll take it all.
And causes only strife.
She'll **** you dry,
And make you wanna cry.
And leave you empty,
And wishing to die.
And might not know,
The reason why.
These merchants of death.
With her they ply.
Filled with only greed,
They'll not notice,
Or even care,
When you die.
There's plenty more,
To take your place.
You were nothing,
But money,
And a face.
Don't trust her smiling face.
So beautiful and ****,
She might seem.
But,
She will rob,
Your self esteem.
And leave you empty,
Broken,
And alone.
If you're even alive

You were a warm, weighted blanket,
You comforted me when I was alone.
You made me feel safe and well,
You quickly became my home.
Your embrace was warm and welcoming,
But soon became too hot.
I tried to kick you off of me,
I fought with all I’ve got.
Your hold was now too tight,
Sometimes I couldn’t breathe.
I swore I’d never touch you again,
But I’m truth, I couldn’t leave.
You were all I never wanted,
This thing, sewn to my bed,
But I couldn’t ask a soul for help,
So I clung to you instead.
People soon began to worry,
If I was doing alright.
I missed work, events, and meals,
Just to sleep with you at night.
I thought that I could manage you,
That I could pick and choose…
“An evening here, an evening there”
But it’s a game that I would lose.
One night you suffocated me,
Made me sleep for “one last time”.
But someone cut you off of me,
And brought me back to life.
I really thought I loved you,
But I should have known better.
I should have known you’d almost **** me…
I should have bought a sweater.

junk torrents of suffering
pollute dream pools
and reek of putrefaction

dead fingers dance
down trails of deviant memories

Life’s spectral scream
               ‘I am, but why????’
fills the firmament

frail needs
fragmented desires
mutilated faith
plastic fears

Television static from an infernal midnight

The shells of eternity

       Penetrating,
             Leaving, blind, bound and broken
                     the children of midday sun