Each step is scary.

Reminiscing in the *******
A medicinal tradition, transient wishes
Flowers and seeds, transitions of power
5 miniature needs, Sign out of line
Time went tock tick, Just tell me you're mine
You're on me, a tick, **** from my soul
Fly on my wall, Don't die for this goal
I'll watch you forever, And catch you in fall
Release comes Whenever
Yet never, at all.

@niamornimo
Its always a go ahead
Matters freedom
But to me its more of
Willingly taking oneself
Into captivity to breathe.
My love for sports
Has me running around
With my problems
Waiting to score through
Healing but the scouts
On the sidelines
Are offering first pain than aid.
With my shot foot
I limp on
Looking forward to a goal
As the rot on unattended wound
Starts to rick .
Guess my goal will
Be getting checked and medicated
In the hospital coz
The pain killers don't heal
Brokenness.

I've never been good at hellos.
There is something heavy
In holding conversations
For weeks, or months, or years
Under the notion that some day,
Goodbye will come.

When Goodbye comes I'm never ready,
But I always try to be.
I am 10 minutes late for our date
Taking all of the wrong roads
Just hoping to throw Goodbye off my track.
I release the butterflies in my stomach
In effort to protect my delicate parts
From Goodbye. I fill their void with letters.
Like the giant chocolate ones
You got me on Valentine's day
That spelled "YOU CUTE."
Then, my biggest fear was you
Asking me to stick around. How ironic.
I take L's and the O's and the V's and the E's
And the G O O D B Y E's
Sitting so patiently on the tip of my tongue and swallow them
Unit they're so jumbled
That I forget the difference between the two.
I slur them all together, misconstrued.

You deserve better. I'm sorry.
I know it is not lovely to try to hold
Someone who is on lockdown.
I am scared of what I might catch
If I open that door.
Or worse, who I might lose.

And so I stay silent.
I pull up my mask and
Sit my back against the door
Listening to the lovely way you
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I'll pass you jumbled romance notes
Through the cracks, and you'll smile.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
But you won't understand
Knock. Knock.
How much you mean to me
Knock.
Because I will not open the door
Until you are gone.

I just barely got here
Through shell shocked writer’s block
And tackle double talk fear
Shackled hello poetry, with goodbye, right near

Epilepsy is enough misfunction
Most assuredly my greatest taker
Needn’t to add some greater *compunction
When awareness can vanish like vapor

It’s time to rezone my stained rocket stove
Wrap the fragile packed in Earnest paper decamp this cornerstone to thither grove
Looking for a better “b” line breaker

@niamornimo
"You said that you would love the kids as long as I was their mother.
But I didn't have the courage to look into your passionate eyes.
I know I can't have the baby that you want,
so I have to go away."
She stopped writing, put down her pen
and burst into tears on the table,
the liquid gushing out like water from a bursting dam.
She was alone so she was free to cry all her feelings out and sobbe loudly to let out her sorrows.

"I thought I would have a cute baby with you as long as I did what doc told me to do,
so I kept taking those disgusting medicines to adjust my body.
Even when you saw me taking those medicines by accident sometimes,
I still smiled at you and told you that I was fine as if nothing happened.

I always looked into your face when you fell into sleep.
I firstly knew how it felt to suffer from insomnia.
For a thousand times, I wanted to reach out to touch your handsome face.
But I didn't, because you might be disturbed in your peaceful sleep and wake up.
There was nothing I could do but look into your face so that I would not forget it through the dim light.
You are going to be the most memorable and precious one in my future lonely life."

He had a crooked smile
Disfigured nose
Hair,like small grains of rice
He wore his heart on his sleeves
Literally.
Bleeding
Unevenly woven
Pieces missing

The clay model of him
Lay beside me
As I contemplated breaking him more
Like he did me
I like it that he 'feels' how I feel
Maybe this is the first step
To healing my broken feelings
©