I lay wanting to have you in my arms
I lay wondering what we would’ve have
I lay in distress
I lay
I wanted to meet you

I can feel you
but not as I once did
Absent is
the intertwining passionate
euphoria of two
minds, bodies, souls,
uniting
in energy, in ecstasy

I sense you withdrawing
piece by piece
Your essence, your brilliance
growing dimmer
I struggle to hold you
grasping wildly
for any shred
I can catch, and feel, and hold close

Conversations and innuendos persist
but in them lies a hollowness
A new space between us
our depth moving upward to the surface

I watch you fade from me
You no longer call me by my deity
Once so attuned
Words rendered unnecessary for understanding

But now
I beg for some connection
and don’t even receive a reply

You broke me and I admit it...day in day out chasing after you gets exhausting, trust me I get it. This relationship we have may very well be toxic, but I knew in the beginning when we first started this... this TORTUROUS game that you handed me, wothout a book of rules, because I learned the cost of it...But at the end of the day that game is the only thing that makes it worth being alive.... I'm trying to find a way out, a way to dance my way through without as much pain, a way to live without so much sorrow, a way to be ALIVE, because I don't want to JUST survive...anymore... but your voice so sweet and tempting, wrapping me up, pulling me in, leaving me with goosebumps and butterflies..... Its bliss... But love your games can be so cruel...you seemingly throw yourself at some and abandon others to rot, cold and alone, with nothing more than empty promises to keep them warm... Love you are bittersweet... But somehow I can't seem to get enough.

This was the prettiest I've ever seen you.
It was the most passionate we ever got.
The greatest hug you ever gave me.
The saddest goodbye I ever said.

Last Night broke me.
It broke me in so many ways.
And it might be some time,
Till I'm ok.

Your neck, your thighs, your lips.
It was that night you never want to forget.
Something I wish went on till today, tomorrow.
Why was it the end?

Last night was your last goodbye.
Your last kiss. Your last hug.
The last I love you.
The end of what we are.

I long for the day you come back.
That will be it.
I could kiss you.
I could say I love you again.

there is a cupboard in your mothers house
filled with the softest towels one could imagine.
you always said: just pick one!
then i would stand for a little while in front of it
trying to figure out which one would make me feel like home the most.
i loved that.
i'll miss that.

i know
i must let you go
disconnect everything
we been
from my soul
get to know
my own again
sit firmly
in my throne and then
be happy

I can’t seem to relieve the blues
So stuck upon the edges of my eyes;
Perfume flowers is all you left on my hand,
Their fragrance of Innocence
Is fainter and fainter,
Yet the skies can’t even seem
To bacon back these blues of mine,

It’s a sadness who chooses
To have it’s riverbank
Upon my eyes.