I've been played a lot in my life
causing scars and scratches on my soul
that nobody and nothing seems able to heal.
People involved, they do not respect me
nor do they regret what they've done.
They just live their lifes without conscience
sharing smiling faces behind my back.
"They shall know, what they did to my life!",
I shout out in my dreams, while tears drop down my cheeks.
"Those *******, I will never forgive them.",
I tell myself, while staring at myself in the mirror.
"Just dieing is too merciful, they have to feel my pain",
I pledge to heaven for justice
- though no one seems to listen.
Months pass by and my anger fades,
but my memories still remain.
Still not found peace in my life,
as they drag me back over and over again,
I start to realize that there are things
you cannot overcome
even if you try.
Someone told me, this is the time
when you are able to start forgiving yourself
for letting others hurt you.
Someone told me, this is the time
when you have found your way
back out of a prison of hate
ready to move on.
A friend once told me I was at a dark place without any perspective of returning to my former self ever and that was the reason she had to go. Glad she missed the outcome of her prediction, although everyting else was terrifyingly right.
