Little darlin’, it’s been a long, cold, lonely winter
It feels like years since it’s been here

Now I have baggy, dull shirts with jeans
Then, I’d wear anything but

Now I struggle with communicating
Then, I was a social butterfly

Now I can’t seem to find motivation for art often
Then my stepdad would push me to do what I loved because he said I was “Amazing and talented!”

Little darlin’, I feel like ice is slowly melting in my brain.
It feels like years since my head has been clear.

I tend to miss him and his grayish eyes that always had a twinkle in them when he was cheerful

Now I sit in my room figuring out what to do with myself
Then, Eddie would check on me while I was splattering colorful paint on a bright white canvas

But here comes the sun each day,
I dread it almost every time because the thought of missing loved ones hurts too much.

Now, I wake up before the sun, waiting to see how my week unravels like a red carpet.


Then, I used to want to grow up & move out of this place,
Now I’m not sure what to do.

But it’s alright, soon I’ll start to feel like me again.

i took your socks.
i don't remember if you wore shoes—
but just before they took you,
i took your socks.
i don't know why.
you didn't need them,
but i regretted it instantly.

later i bought you new socks:
long, cable-knit ones to keep you cozy.
to keep you warm.

i'll never forget.

Some intangible,
Grief making my steps heavy,
Loss weighing like lead.

Life just feels like losing.
Like every love I have is
Dying, or choosing to go.
Life just feels confusing.
And I don’t want to think about
The next good thing I’ll have to leave alone.
It seems as though,
Every soul I pour my heart into
Just leaves.
Like loving is just waiting to be
Stolen by deaths thieves.
Till one day everyone in those
Pictures on the wall is dead,
And only I am left,
Bereft.