I'm so tired but all I want to do
Is write about someone I wish I knew

Dear future love,
I wonder where you are, who you are, what you do, what are your likes & dislikes, have we met before or how are we gonna meet, many such question triggers.
It's weird to think that you are me (I am you) living in different house, or city or may be in some other country altogether.
This may be my first writing to you in particular, but this isn't my last.
I want to write this letter to you may be cause when after few years you'll be reading this & comparing the things I've written & things I'll actually follow, will abruptly make you smile.
You know, It's gonna be worth the wait.
I hate waiting, but if it's waiting for you, I'll wait.
I want to show our kids what true love looks like, so if they find it for themselves they'll never let it go,
I'll love you when you'll forget to love yourself,
I'll gently walk besides you & let you lead,
I'll respect your every decision,
I'll always light the darkest of our paths,
I'll hold your hand while we grocery shop,
I'll always read your eyes & hug you the tightest,
I'll sing you to sleep,
I'll never stop flirting with you,
I'll understand the truth behind your "I'm okay"
I'll ask you things & in your hesitation, I'll find my answer,
I'll wear your hoodies in winters,
I'll make you the food of your choice, you need to eat & applaud even if it isn't qualified,
I'll irritate you with my repetitive calls when you'll be at work,
I'll always write you something on our monthly & yearly anniversaries even if you find it stupid,
I'll choose you clothes to wear for the day,
I'll cover you with the blanket every time you'll remove it throughout the night,
I'll pretend to enjoy your snoring tunes & get myself habitual listening to sleep,
I'll always pull your cheeks whenever you'll act cute may it be in front of your friends,
I'll clean your nose whenever you'll lick your ice-cream like a kid,
I'll make you listen the ******* of my whole day & will cross question to make sure you were listening,
I'll ask you the stupidest questions that will hit my mind,
I'll hug you whenever I'll feel low & will always cry on your shoulder,
I'll recognise your body smell of every kind,
I'll admire your all forms, the good & the less good,
I'll embrace the darks & the scars,
I'll adore you till my last breath,
I'll take care of you as your mother, treat you as a baby & elucidate sometimes as your father,
We'll sit on our rooftop & gossip some night,
When in doubt, we'll grab a blanket, run away & watch the stars,
When you'll be late at home, I'll wait for you to eat together,
When you'll get over drunk, I'll remove your shoes & let you sleep with peace for the next day interrogation,
When you'll get angry upon me for no reason, I'll never argue & understand your frustration & give you a big smile to say it's okay,
When you'll get cold & will keep me away, I'll cuddle you tighter & say let's get sick together,
When we'll fight, I'll say sorry even if it isn't my mistake, cause i cannot resist talking to you,
When we'll go out, I'll always hold your arm cause showing you off is my duty,
When you'll get nervous of anything, I'll push you up,
When we'll watch some midnight horror, I'll sit in your lap & hold you the tightest even when it isn't that scary,
When we'll play cricket on picnics, you've to treat me with ease,
When insomnia will hit me, you need to talk with me even when you're sleepy,
When you'll be sleeping till late in weekends, i'll kiss your forehead & quietly tiptoe out to my work,
When we'll go for long drives, I'll tease you to stop the car for stupid things, while your fingers interwoven with mine in motion,
When we both will turn to our 60s-70s, I'll kiss your wrinkled cheeks with no teeths,
You'll be my entire life,
You'll be the reflection of my soul,
You'll be the proof that "god still loves me".
I love you
for all that you are,
all that you've been
& all that you're yet to be.

Dear you,
I might not know you yet either,
but this letter will be different.

You will be different

I say that because it is true.
Not because he was wrong, or bad,
but he wasn't you.

You are holy and set apart.
As am I.
You were made for me,
and I for you.
And we will get it right at last,
Oh sweet promise of the Lord.
You have been worth waiting for.

I may not have waited as long as you.
I may have been sloppier with my life.
I may disagree with you and be stubborn
and try to take the lead.
But you will know me
And choose me anyways.

And that is why I will love you,
with a true love that reflects
the love of God.

And for all of that,
and for all that I remain unaware of,
I am waiting.

But I had to write you to say,
I'm not looking.
I am not striving.
I'm no longer searching,
and trying to force things to happen.

I am resting.
And serving,
And seeking...
the face of God

Because you are only to love me as He already loves me.
So, I'm going to the source.
And I'll see you some day soon.
I know you're waiting too.
I know you'll know what to do.

To my future love,
I have been broken more than once & torn to shreds on my road to you..
Because of this, my heart has been forced to rebuild itself & learn to love anew..
And though I’ve seen the darkest nights I could ever imagine,
That they'd  lead me to your arms &  to a light I cannot fathom..
So to my future love, I vow to give u everything that I have,
jus promise me that if I slip up & make a mistake, u won't do like the others & begin to pack your bags....

Love, I will wait for you like Jacob did.
He waited for Rachel and some things he bid.
To God I pray for a longer patience,
for in the future this will make a difference.

Love, I will give you friendship like Jonathan to David.
The relationship we'll have is that one that's "blessed".
You will be loved by me, as my own soul.
It is God that will make us whole.

Love, I will stay by your side like Ruth to Naomi.
Being apart won't happen, for I commit everything to Thee.
Every step of the way I will be with you.
Together, the heart of God, we'll both pursue.

Love, I will be faithful to you like Hosea.
Trials will come, but we have the Alpha and Omega.
I will show you my full loyalty,
and to God I will bring you closely.

Love, we will grow old together like Abraham and Sarah.
The fire of love in us will burn like magma.
I will make a covenant with you,
and it is something that I will hold on to.

Love, it is God who will be in our center.
It is the love of the Lord that will make us better.
The future I will have  with you will be a great journey,
for we are loved and guided by the Almighty.

*-Steph Dioniso, March 03, 2015

rub your collarbones over mine and leave on me the smell of your skin so I can finally have something to wake up to

you can have all of me

Is there love out there for someone like me?
As cliche as a small excerpt like this might be
I can't help but wonder
Will there ever be someone who sees me like lightening and my voice like thunder
Following you around like your own personal little cloud of rain
A muse who understands my pain
Its not easy to believe in someone
This i know
For my past endeavors have told me so
I often fantasize about it
What its like for someone to know my demons in and out
Its a double edged sword
It has to be
For another human to understand
They'd have to be as crazy as me
I want to connect on a level where our fingertips create small worlds
And our bodies create galaxies
Just by simply touching

And then there's nothing

To My Dearest Love of All Time,

I'm going to allow you and give you the opportunity to find me. No, I mean, I will allow love to find us finally and lead us into each other. And no, I'm not expecting you to be somebody I know. for all I care, I'm living my life the best I can. I'm waiting for the time when we would finally meet. So, I hope you're living yours beautifully too.

My friends would casually ask me what's the best day I have ever lived, I haven't lived it yet as I'm reserving that day to be ours.  Know that I'm waiting here patiently, although I'm not good at that -- waiting. But know that I'm giving the best that I can because I want to give my best to you. Don't shun away, walk that road into our Happily Ever After because when I would finally find you, I'll walk straight towards you or maybe run if it's not a very desperate move to do.

Is it possible to miss someone you haven't met? Because that's how I feel every time I think of you. Is it possible to love someone whom you still have to meet in the future? I have all my love reserved for you.

-- Criss ∞