It's as if I want to hate you,
And I might even say it to myself.
But at the same time,
I'm saying I love you too much.

Sometimes I'll think that I don't want this pain.
At the same time I'll know that I like it.
I like how it feels,
how it stings,
How it burns.
At least I'm feeling something,
That I think could be love.
But it's only one sided,
So how can I tell.

I'll tell you how it goes.
I love you,
I think of you,
I miss you,
I want to talk to you.
When you don't reply,
Even if you've been online,
About 15 thousand times,
You'll take another 24-48 hours.
Then I want to not like you anymore.
Even though you still haven't done anything.
It just slaps me once again,
That you will never feel the same.
But it can be a nice feeling,
So I cling onto it,
Thinking that it's worth it.
The most it's done for me is cause pain.

But then you're face.
It brightens my day.
But that also makes my heart break.
How many times can a heart be broken?
And this is only by one person,
Who hasn't done anything to break me.

No one can break me.
No ones broken me.
I'm not some object.
I am a real person.
I have real feelings,
But are these real?
Well I don't know.
I haven't had the chance to find out.
If you saw me, the way I see you...
Oh silly me that could never be!

What am I here for?
What do I care?
It's not like I deserve you.
It's not like I've always been there.
If you were by my side, though,
And you needed me,
Then I would bow down to your feet.
No, not literally.
But I would be there.
I would help.
I would do whatever I could.
You should realise that.
I bet you know.

None of that,
none of this.
Could possibly change any given thing.
I know I can't just write,
And make you feel things.
I know I can't just love,
And expect the same from you.
I don't.
I won't.
Oh, and you never will.
Basically, what I'm saying is:
You feel how you feel.
This is what it is.
This is not what it's not.

You and me.
We seem to be two different things.
Regardless of this,
I continue to dream.
I don't expect you to change your view.
I know how you feel about me.
You know how I feel about you.
Now there's not much left to say or do.
I'll just keep myself here.
Apparently this is what I do.
I sit here,
I sit here.
And I wait for you.

I'm still here loving you.
Do you still realise?
Do you feel like my love is going to waste?
Well we both know that it is,
But if I do I might never admit.
I don't call it a waste,
Because I'm spending it on you.
However it's not being returned.
You could count it as a waste.
It's been around six months.
That's half a year that's already gone.
Half a year of my wasted love.
How has it already been that long?
My love for you still feels fresh.
It's just never been used.

I guess I used the wrong words when I talked to the stars,
I wished to never lose you and it sort of worked.
I should´ve been more specific,
cause I wanted us to be bonded by love.
You are not away,
but you are not here yet.

My dream girl found a lover
She speaks of him in rhyming lines
the joy she feels dancing between every heart shaped syllable,
thumbing it's nose at my breaking heart.

My dream girl found a lover
the deal was sealed with a rain soaked kiss
and hands that fit just-so.
A love tightly bound,
according to her rose tinted ink.

My dream girl found a lover
I hope he hears the fragility in her sighs
over the beauty that radiates when her smile crinkles her nose,
for that alone can distract a man from the sound of breaking.

My dream girl found a lover
to mend her broken heart,
a coveted position filled.
Leaving me forever dreaming
of almosts and half smiles.

You've shed tears on my shoulder,
you've made me laugh and smile,
You've picked me up from every single low,
If ever I'm in trouble, it's your number I dial,
It makes my feelings battle, to and fro,
We treat each other soundly, like family some would say,
For you, I'd simply take that fatal shot,
I'd never ask the question, just move right in the way,
Yet emotions, sure of them I'm simply not,
I always sat and wondered: what if we could be more?
What if I'd taken one more giant leap?
In honesty, confusion, I think it closed the door,
And now it's left me but a ****** heap,
I see you as a sister, and that's how it should be,
I don't want our relationship to end,
For we were never lovers, and now it's dawned to me,


**You're always better to me as a friend.

I feel nostalgic when I that name.
It makes me think about the past.
Those words I told you 'I love you".
When you just said "oh".
I just laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling thinking.
Wondering if I should say something.
I then said, "I assume you don't have the same feelings".
You said, "lol, I'm sorry I only see you as a friend".
I contemplated on what I should do.
I sometimes have uncontrollable thoughts of you now.
I often hear you're name in the midst.
In my mind I have a certain part for you.
I have to see you soon again.
Now you're in a relationship with someone.You seem happy at time.
I'm happy for you.
Its great to see that beautiful smile.
Its great to hear you're voice.
I often think that if we could have been something how long would that had last.
I hope to see you when we're finish with school.

They say kryptonite is superman’s weakness
but mine must be you
because you leave me speechless
sweetness
is all you've ever given me
sleepless
is all I’ve ever been since we
became friends
but now I feel like our friendship needs a cleanse
expectations
I guess mine were too high
its understandable though
it just wasn't our time
I got upset
I only wanted to forget
what we had
but why spend my days being mad?
I cant make this your fault
I locked my heart up in a vault
my mind keeps racing
look at me I’m spacing
I wonder if this would be different
if id have left it alone
or if we had went for it
everyone's always saying
you two'd look cute together
but it only hurts me more
in my head its like the first world war
but I think i'm losing
you're my best friend
I have to respect that
its just going to be hard
since my heart is somewhat scarred
do you understand though?
Why im starting to let go
really my hearts just incapacitated
because ive been captivated
by your sweet looks and charm
you make me so infatuated
I hope she makes you happy
thats all I want for you
im sure ill find someone too
eventually
now you know what im undergoing
I just hope our friendship can keep on flowing

it's four a.m. and i'm craving my best friend

i want the unconditional love
that makes up for heated arguments

i want to hear the story behind every scar

i want to see the side
no one else sees

i want to see your psyche torn
open for me to embrace

i want to feel black curls against
my fingertips and
warm mouth pressed against my own

regretful secrets

if the boy who was
infatuated
with me were still here
who knows what i would do

but for now it's four a.m.
and when i wake up
reality will smother us

Are you swimming in my eyes?
Is it just a illusion?
Are the eyes just fishbowls?

Are you the angel or the devil?
Hero or villain?
Beautiful or ugly?
Right or wrong?
Soft or hard?
Happy or sad?
Certain or in doubt?

So many unanswered questions,
Who are you?
Can you tell me?
No?
Okay, just one more question:
Are you the friend or the lover?