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eliana Jul 20
my stomach,
it twists and it turns.
Should I go or should I stay?
These thoughts surround my head,
Scared of what lies ahead.
What could go wrong?
I'm not sure that I belong.
Oh silly me, just be free!
For this is your only chance to feel alive again.
Ive been really nervous as im supposed to be going out in just a few hours and my anxiety is off the charts lol but, I feel happy and face my fears i guess. Who knew social anxiety was so scary in the moment!!
mysterie Jul 21
it wasn't my fault.
i didn't mean to,
i swear.
i would never go
out of my way --
intentionally,
to upset you like that.
i hate seeing you like that!

why do you think i did it?
do you really think
that little of me?

i would never hurt you
because i wanted to.
i never want to.
date wrote: 20/7
mysterie Aug 12
i regret not making more friends.
i regret not sitting at more lunch tables.
i regret the glances that i didn’t return.
i regret the smiles i let pass like strangers.
i regret thinking that one friend was enough.
i regret pretending that silence made me strong.
i regret staying home when they invited me out.
i regret overthinking every introduction.
i regret the way i let anxiety speak for me.
i regret deleting numbers instead of reaching out to people.
i regret waiting for them to speak first.
i regret being afraid of being too much.
i regret leaving group chats before they knew me.
i regret the hallways I walked like a ghost.
i regret the versions of me they never got to meet.
the point is --
i regret a lot of things,
about not making friends.
especially that.

but it was my fault
after all.
a peek into a girls notes: The Friends
date wrote: 20/7
Swayam Parte Jul 19
Years have passed, seasons have changed,
And change might have greeted you too,
Yet I still stand through the rain and snow,
Waiting, to be loved by you.

You said that you weren't sure,
that you hadn't made up your mind.
These simple words left a mark on my heart,
Yet I pretended to be fine.

You say that you're unsure,
hoping to find someone better than me.
While here I am, spending my nights awake,
thinking of what we could be.

I know I'm not the man you imagined,
not the man from one of your books,
not the man who's strong and protective,
not the man who carries good looks.

Yet trust me when I say,
I'll understand you in every way,
I'll listen to you talk for hours,
And when you need me, I'll be a call away.

I hope you'll accept my love,
that it doesn't take seasons or years.
For I don't wish to be known,
as the man who ran out of tears.

But now I don't care how long it takes,
for you to finally see.
My love, my care, my compassion for you,
For you to finally see me.
I promise, I will wait forever.....
Raven Star Jul 19
I know it sounds  cliché,
But it feels like
I've lost an important part of myself.
As we're sitting next to each other
But I'm writing about our distance.

It feels like the metaphors have been wiped away,
Nor any simile comes to play,
Maybe it was always supposed to be this way.

It almost seems pointless,
It seems to be in vain,
As i try and fail to find the write words to express this pain.
Friendship, break up, fake friends
kaycog Jul 16
Begging
Love me—
more
than the vices
that love you
Irelyn Thorne Jul 11
Is it wrong
To not know what's next
After building up a reputation
To always be the one who knows
And never asks for anything in return
Not once
Is it wrong
To not have any advice
When everyone believes I am healed
That I speak truths
From my harsh past
And shed light
On every other trauma
So is it so, so wrong
To have helped every other person
Yet be at a loss of words
When I'm with you
Bri Jul 10
I put a spell on you
Convinced you I was fine
Told you how happy I was
Lived like the sun still shone bright
Like the stars hadn’t dimmed
I didn’t let you see
The darker side
The crying late at night
The constant checking in the mirror
The skipping meals
The constant stress
The last flicker of light,
Blinking out
I promised I was good
Promised that the world was not ending
I put a spell on you
So that you wouldn’t see
Bri Jul 10
I’m drowning and nobody can hear
I’m suffocating but nobody sees
I’m slowly dying
But not a soul is there to witness it
I’m alone
In a room full of people
My heart is shattered and strained
From loving too much
Love without reciprocation
They see me but they don’t see who I am
What I feel
I spent every wish and piece of luck
Wishing they wouldn’t leave me
Even though I’m drowning
And they’re not there to pull me out
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