One year down the road,
two years back behind.
Neither has a sign saying closed,
not that we would pay it any mind.
Indecision is killing us
choking so hard we can barely breathe.
I buried all of our trust
and then beg you not to grieve.

While it’s always been you I adore
I can’t decide if I love or hate myself more.
It eats me alive just like cancer
but I know and I show, us both
the real answer.

Try to illustrate your soul
but my pallet’s lacking the tones.
I tried to pay the tickets and toll
by trading sticks and stones.
A promise I should’ve kept,
but sometimes it’s just too hard,
and so I watched as you wept
just as predicted by the tarot card.

While it’s always been you I adore
it’s been the wrong side I’ve been fighting for.
I chose my tactics and my plays,
to get through that it’s true,
It’s still you
all time and always.

She says “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby,
when you do that **** it makes me feel crazy.”
“You can’t even look me square in the face,
and you’ve always had an accent I just couldn’t place.”
She says “don’t call me kid, don’t call me love,
you took everything that I ever dreamt of
all of it is now poisoned laced,
or you tried to erase but it can’t be replaced.”

I could never put her on a shelf;
These aren’t feelings I’ve ever felt
just for anyone else.
I’m sure she knows **** well,
for her I’d crawl my body through hell.
All time and always.

It’s 2022, we’re in the final battle for the soul of the world.
There is no Indo-European root for soul,
the Greek and Germanic roots mean quick-moving, fleeting, mercurial.
I’d add evanescent, impermanent, ephemeral
disappearing, diminishing, dwindling
tenuous, brief, short-lived.
Whatever forever—that’s where we’ll be after WWIII.

World, home, think, breathe: man,
woman the vital force in man, the Anthropocene, men together
violence, virtue, virility. Also, werewolf.
War: to confuse, mix up, make worse.
The old are paying close attention but my sons ignore the thunder,
plate tectonics, gamma ray bursters and mortars on the Eurasian front.
Peace out—the end, limit, boundary, never to have been. So long,
       sayonara, shalom, salaam. Take into eternity my hail and farewell.

The idea of ‘forever’ used to be impossible,
The thought of ‘eternity’ simply improbable.
But then I met you and it all makes sense,
The wedding, the kids, even the white picket fence.
“Till death do us part” isn’t that what they say?
Let’s focus on life and live it to the fullest everyday.
You make me believe in “happily ever after”,
I can’t wait for us to start this new chapter.


Love, Jaz

You wanted my words
you’ve wanted my thoughts,
and all that you’ve heard;
It’s my heart that you’ve got.
Love I’m right here
and I forever will be,
my lips will brush your ear
for all eternity.

I’ll bathe in your soul
and I’ll drown in your eyes
you will make me whole
and you will light my skies.
Love; I am blind
for you’re all I can see,
but I will never mind
for all eternity.

She speaks to me in poetry
in calligraphy and with cartography,
and bestows upon me these blessings;
endless dreams and epiphanies.
I correspond with you and you to me,
attached and complimenting eachother as a wave to the sea.
Upon our flesh two puzzle pieces as each completing,
Darling I could never resist, quickly defeating.

You keep each secret like a stone
before you put it into your pocket.
And I don’t ever want you to feel alone,
you’ve got me locked up like a locket.
Your luscious hair isn’t the only weight
that lies upon your soft shoulders.
And I just want to be in your future and current state,
so let me pick up and carry those boulders.

So please don’t you ever abandon me
like Lipton’s alligator soup and Altoids sour candy.

This is the last thing, the final time,
No more words, no reason, no rhyme.
I won’t reach out, I won’t pretend,
This is my adieu, this is the refrain.
I’ll vanish far, where no one sees,
Where names are lost in distant breeze.
No one will call, no one will care,
And I won’t leave a shadow there.

Every memory
I’ll let it fade,
Like old songs that silence played.
I’ll forget it all, I’ll close that door,
I won’t come back, not anymore.
But the last song I once replayed,
The one I quietly screen-recorded and saved
That one stays, a soft goodbye,
A sound that holds what I can’t cry.

I won’t return, won’t turn around,
I’m searching now for quieter ground.
A place like Innisfree — still and wide,
Where I can breathe and safely hide.
So this is it
No need to try.
No second thoughts. Just one last sigh.
No one will notice, no one will see...
But maybe that's how it was meant to be.

There were times where we felt right.

Most times, we were wrong.

This island was supposed to be a safe space—
Instead we didn’t feel we belonged.

Throughout our time together,

There’s been many sleepless nights.

There’s been many sad mornings,

And what seemed like endless fights.

Throughout our time together,

Sometimes we weren’t very nice.

Sometimes we hurt each other,

Sometimes we were cold as ice.

There are things I’m not proud of.

Things I used you to blame.
I wish you would understand me more—
Sometimes I feel it’s always the same.

Sometimes when I look at old pictures of you

And I stare into your eyes,

I worry you look brighter—

Is your happiness compromised?

Will I see that man again—

The one with eyes so sure?

Or what about the girl in my reflection—

Can we still heal her?

It makes me think about that night—

The one where flames burst.
I wonder, had they not,
Would we have reversed the curse?

I know now things have changed,

And the love between us grows.

But still, I sometimes worry
Deep roots may decompose.

As we continue to grow

Into these new chapters,

I want to show change.

I want us to be better.

I want us to stop the blame.

Can we mend the past

And move forward?

Can we rebuild as a team?

I want you in my life for good—

Not just now,

Not just for a dream.