Will you realize how much I looked up to you dad?
Through all the lessons and guidance you always had.

Will you realize how much I loved you dad?
Through every moment, happy and sad.

Will you realize how I wanted you to be so proud of me dad?
Through all the struggles and the dreams I once had.

You do all of these things for me yet cant even be a dad?
You build up the world I have, but leave my heart sad.

Because I am my father's child, forgive me whilst I observe your character without allowing myself to fall for you pretences.

Because I am my father's child, ignore me as I ignore you watching me, you thinking that I cannot see you watching me.

Because I am my father's child, hold me back when I replay my past hurts in my tone.

Because I am my father's child, observe me as my doe-like eyes observe the beauties of The Father's world for me.

Because I am my father's child please pull me out of my tornado of self doubt and self hatred when you see a cloud of darkness over me.

Because I am my father's child, do not bother me when my face seems distorted with confusion, I am only dissolving into my thoughts.

Because I am my father's child, ignore the voice you hear when I think I am alone, at times it is the richness in my own tone that I  wish to hear the most.

Because I am my father's child, do not be fazed by the guttural sounds of my prayers, it shakes the ground because whatever I bind on earth is bound in heaven.

Because I am my father's child, please think before you spit words of despair into my face, he and I are still healing from how our father's treated us.

They always said
How much the little girl
Was like her daddy in
The way she stood
Walked 
Movements
Gestures
Cute when she was small

But the older she gets
The more she takes on
More serious aspects of
My strengths
My weaknesses.

Proud to see her
Strong personality
Flashbacks of my youth.
Strong-willed
Free in spirit
As a young deer
Kinking up its hind legs
In defiance of constriction.

A free spirit sees
No need for the fences
We build to contain it
To control our so-called
Base instincts.

In her my strengths are
Magnified
but oh
So are my weaknesses
My weaknesses magnified!

Looking at this
Living mirror of myself
Seems to
Magnify
Intensify
A normal father/daughter
Relationship.

I think I see clearly because
I think I know myself so well.
I chastise myself
I condemn my weaknesses
The mistakes I made in my youth.

I look down at me
She looks up to me.

They say she is
So much like her daddy
But she is much more.
Part mama
Part gran
Part grandma
A tapestry of traits
All formed in her
Along with what her social
Environments have
Sown in and reaped of her.

The teenager often sees the
Outward beauty of a
Model or movie star.
Someone is always
Better looking
Someone else always
Has more of something.

I try so hard to help her see
That this is so common
A feeling.
She is above all this
She is not run of the mill.
I know she knows this
Somewhere
Deep inside.

Time has proved
That I see more
Than what meets the eye
But this knowing
Holds possible dangers.
I can see ahead to
Warn her of trouble
But there are troubles
That she must endure.
Over-protection
Every caring parent knows
This pain.

I do not want to fail her
But distance seems to grow
Between us when
I monitor her progress
When I push and ****
To make her less like daddy.
She shouldn’t be like me
I have too many regrets.

In the night hours
I sometimes hear sounds
That I cannot distinguish.
I hear fluttering sounds
That I think are birds
Flying out of the trees
But in reality it is the wind
Blowing high
Through the pines.

I see shadows of strangers
Seeking mischief
Shining bright
Lights at the family tent
In the cold
Half-dream-state
Of the cold night
But reality says it is
The distortion of the campfire
Through the fabric of the tent.

I cannot always distinguish
Certain sights and sounds
At certain times
But time reveals what
They truly are.

But to bite the tongue
When I wish to scold
Out of season.
To stop focusing on our
Likenesses to the point
Where I cannot differentiate
Between what she used to be
And what I used to feel
And the individual soul
That my daughter is.

They always say how
much she is like her daddy.
Maybe daddy needs to change.