Polished in the mirror,
I shine.
There's evidence
everyone who knows it
now knows of ME,
and has liked my image repeatedly.

This is my good side
quickly, capture that twinkle,
sparkle and finesse;
from every angle imaginable,
and photoshop it
until my form is pleasing and recognizable.

Stare at ME entirely
but only after I have given consent,
after you subscribe to the content.
Please don't bother ME
while uploading my deep thoughts,
I am trending now;
but yesterday I lost a follower
for ME it's like losing a limb.

Such stress makes ME lose focus
I forget to breathe or eat,
such a price for the framework;
I'm not just a vessel, I'm an idol.
I'll rise and steal the moment,
little snares for captive time.

Look at ME
don't lose interest,
stop texting when I'm talking to you.
That's annoying
that's rude,
pay attention to ME for once.

Automatic flash goes off
set for selfie, now filter applied
something is missing here,
a selfie born without the self.

Don't pity ME
the phone doesn't lie;
imperfection can never be
I'm immune,
ME indeed,
addicted to the social feed.

You go away
with those heaps of trust
that i gave you
And now you threw it away
like it was nothing
All those years
that had me hold onto a fragile hope
You say you remember everything
Of course you remember
yet that's not enough
to stitch the open wound
not even worth a single needle
Because you will never stay

Lately I’ve wondered,
about everything.
I still try to make sense,
of an unwoven string.

Why does it still hurt,
when I remember you?
When I remember us,
before it all fell through.

Is it even possible,
that you used me so long?
Or did you say that to hurt me,
and justify your wrongs.

Did it help you to think,
that I didn’t matter at all?
Did you secretly smile,
knowing that I’d fall?

I cannot believe that,
I refuse to hate you.
I refuse to give in,
and accept a false truth.

I refuse to accept,
that I didn’t know your heart,
because if I accept that,
then it will tear me apart.

We both turned into things,
we should be ashamed of,
but even till the end,
I was still in love.

Now each day is torture,
trying to lie to myself.
Now I’m the one being fake,
trying to love someone else.

Is that how it felt,
when you were with me?
If it was then I understand,
and I can finally see.

She is sweet and kind,
and loves me so much,
but I have no more to give,
because I yearn for your touch.

So I’m doing to her,
what you did to me.
I’m not being fair,
but her loves imprisoning.

Going through the motions,
now I understand,
and I forgive what you did,
when you let go of my hand.

So I’ll just keep going,
and love you from afar.
Maybe one day it can change,
and this will just be a scar.

You ask if I love you?
I simply reply I don’t know.
How could one really know,
I’d love truly lies where lust hides.

Do I love you,
When you hold me tight,
When our lips touch,
Or when our bodies connect.

Do I love you,
When I sneak glances,
When I listen intently,
Or when I feel that I can’t get enough.

But when we are together,
My heart flutters,
My hands shake,
I feel tingly.
I feel special.

But you ask my if I love you,
I still can’t respond.
Is it me being with you?
Or being apart of you?

When the heat rushes,
When my legs shake,
**** I know I’ll be sore in the morning,
But that isn’t love.

Love shouldn’t be afraid.
Love shouldn’t be hidden.
It’s shouldn’t be shameful,
Or questioned.

But I guess it doesn’t matter either way.

Because you never asked me if I loved you in the first place.

“a righteous man
picks up his cross,
gathers his loss,
and walks-
reaching for the heavens,
speaking to a passerby,
talking about the afterlife
and how good Jesus is-“

meanwhile-
another baby body is bent and broken
by a father’s “bravery” to believe in something bigger
than the breaths of his boy, his girl, his new born Bethlehem-
Because
Jesus called him.

-I find it hard to believe-
that God in his glorious grace
would give you a mission, to leave their sweet faces
and depart from this place
to carry a block of wood
to witness to others
while losing your children
your wife
your love
your spirit
your humanity-
i don’t think God has called you to anything-

You’re another pompous prophet
Professing his prophecies to impressionable people
To hide the fact that you’re facing much more than you fear to mention
And that you haven’t heard the voice of the lord or felt his love’s tension
And you carry this cross, but haven’t picked the one up in your eye; you are week and feeble.
You speak of goodness
But bring nothing but sorrow
You speak of love
Yet love to hate,
You think yourself a high priest,
But you are no servant.
Let the blood of a bitten tongue
Be the pain lasting longer
Than your false song
Slowly getting stronger.