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Q Aug 2024
Ive never been a believer
Not in the preternal, supernatural entities
That command our lives.
When chaos errupts
Or the ensuring peace in the eye of the hurricane
The feeling lingers
a want, a need arises.
Suddenly when I look at myself
In the hollowed reflection of the mirrors gaze
I have never prayed more fervently
To a god that I don't believe in
That thinks my life a sin
I pray, postrate and beg,
Til my tongue is full of blisters,
And my lips are cracked
That I could be welcomed into the silence

Give me peace.
Give me death.
Give me quiet.

For it must be hard to love someone
Who loves death more.
The night is a lamenting carnival,
I live with my moon's faithful light,
You've followed me into my dark,
Did you get enough love, my baby love?

I never survived this place whole,
Would you recognise me still?
When I'm beaten, broken and ******?
I know you will, I know that you will :)

If I don't turn to see your light,
Enchant me with your eyes, my beloved,
I always lost myself in them, honey,
Frozen and bewitched by it's splendor,

The voids in me are closing,
You've given me so much,
I smile at your every thought and feeling,
I always have and now it's widened,

I'll fail everyone and myself but not you,
You, who's given me a life anew and pure,
I'll find a way, survivors always do,
And I'm not alone anymore, am I? :)
Anais Vionet Aug 2024
The heavenly stars are on fire
I’m told.
You have to take some things on faith.

But where’s the smoke?
.
.
Songs for this:
Man in finance (G6 Trust Fund) by ******* a couch, Billen Ted
Bored by Laufey
Odd Odyssey Poet Jul 2024
my faith is but a humble paper holder
-folding his promises, kept in my heart
as a place to keep safe. and in the stillness of prayer;
he finds me empty, an unguided river, drawing into
the void- so close to near death, listening to the life he speaks

he sees me as a pearlescent sunflower seed,
hiding in the darkness of earth, parched from living water,
his word overflowing; only to those willing to partake, to
receive a promise unseen- as like the physical appearance of faith

still, it roams in the air; shapeless, always
staying the same- always there, until forever
as the weather is a teacher to seasonally help me
master weathering through one’s many, many
situations; I know my faith will be with me come time or tides
Heaven's really a place on earth with you,
Your eyes and smile on me again,
My chest sank, I smiled and I felt home,
I could replay that forever and never have enough,

You talked and I swear there was magic,
The dance of your hair, the sparks of your speech, the majesty of your eyes,
Separated from the fabric of the universe,
You stand alone with your grace and splendor,

With divine luck, I found a strand of your hair,
I held it tight at first then stopped and played it,
Words of fairytale manifested in that one strand,
I lost it, wasn't sad cause you'll give me another,

Your arm felt so soft, I wish I held it longer, I wonder what you felt,
I never wanted to take my thumb off of it,
I searched for your pulse, the core of your heart,
The summer to my icy heart, winter to my fiery mind,

I never knew finish anything I've written on you,
Just like how I never want us to end either,
I don't need much but I'll always need you,
You and your ten thousand volt smile,
My sinoatrial nodes are still jealous of you :)
070824

The foundation was laid
And I was named to be a building —
Dignified by the strength of my Master’s identity
And nurtured by His love that will last forever.

I played a role of hide and seek
And the long years built me
Where my facade dealt the beauty of the dust.
And the ashes of my ancestor
Were the old pieces of the bigger masterpiece.

A sculpture was born but it was unfinished
The lens of my Master was more than a promise,
And I aim to be whoever He wants me to be.
His burning arrows pierced me from within
Changing me as He leads me to the still waters.

There’s no wasted time in His loving arms
And yet I fall short of his glory from time to time,
Turning from left to right,
Side by side failing like a falling debris
But still, He picked me up from the dust.

I used to think that a building owns itself —
But it’s a revelation of time
Reminding me that I am not well-maintained
In the shadows of my own strength.

The sand of time even worshipped the rising Sun
And so here I am — waiting to be built again.
And if I am to spend another life
Then I would not waste a lifetime away from Him.
Odd Odyssey Poet Jul 2024
I rest in self-misery, as the pride of a mirror - to only see
It as I alone, suffering through these trials. My successes are
Mere private congratulations; pats on the back, aspirations relying
On the weight of the estimation theory. As are my days: random
Components, wholly in the degree of alteration

Days alternate between good or bad; often the latter- a newer
Taste of bitterness, to an unreasonable resentment; a sad struggle
Against the Diarrhoea of Complaints- for yes indeed, life can be
So full of ****, and almost in that same mirror, you sadly see
The very crap you’re forced to be seated in,- daily

As a man is the master in his own fantasies; to have dreams
In which they live as gods- their truths all taking a deformed shape
The shape of life being abstract; as what hurt you today, becomes
The foundation to build tomorrow’s strength. So don’t give into
What pain rests on your plate- feeding into its lies; as where there is
One’s fate, lies the fuel of faith. So ask yourself; where on that tank’s
Needle, does your faith tend to want to sit on
Odd Odyssey Poet Jul 2024
Coded messages, inscribed by the scars on my skin
Aspects of a secluded heart; as the line of tears, maps
Out the journey to a long sense of finding due healing

As the border between maturity and old youth, in a new attire;
Once the public uniform of coming in your, “Sunday best,”
Disguising all the vile of yourself- as we fashion ourselves to
Look like the most likable person; the scrap pieces of dripping water
From prior baptisms- as some of the sovereign believers are uncouth
To their God, wearing the many false skins, hunted in wickedness-
Their very own diplomacy of delighted barbarism  

Separate all of your self-gratifying creeds, and agreed to
Worship in love, pray together; coming as you are- as we are
All knitted together by familiar troubles, hurts, griefs, uproars-
To raise our voices, bringing life to this new body.
Odd Odyssey Poet Jul 2024
Lost in sombre details, of what really hangs around morals
-Crucifix, hanging around a sinner’s neck; so choked up
While the devil speaks on my livelihood with his demons
Parading as unwanted guests; foundations of personal griefs
I am unguarded; not well versed in a couple scripture verses

Versions of my weekly self- a relaxed stance, trying to have
Faith in a life of ease. Setting aside everything else, in the
Way of being by my bedside- faithfully praying on my knees

Still if my faith is loosely based on modern people’s commitment
To their faith and integrity, I might as well be faithless as them all-  
Seated in a church; behind on my many debts, sitting at the back
Listening to the loud laughs of the greatest hypocrites,
The usual Sunday gossip, sounding clearer than a church bell
Leaders who burnt me, quick to preach how I might go to Hell

As a failed sense of wholesome community in communal
Around church clicks of skin colour, for Sunday’s different cults
In what my conscious tries to say is a domicile sanctuary:
I’m a bit reluctant to fully agree with my own self
Zywa Jul 2024
Faith is guidable,

while superstition hardly --


can be influenced.
Novel "The Enchantress of Florence" (2008, Salman Rushdie), part 3, chapter 19

Collection "Low gear"
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