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Colm Jan 2020
Open my mouth to raindrop thoughts
Forget to breathe the breath of life
And I forgot
As I tried to consume the sky again
For not
Just Me beneath the sky

Song
The girl I haven't met yet
Kudasaibeats
Mims Jan 2020
I don’t know if I’m really losing weight
Or if my self image has just become
Even more distorted
Collarbones
Ribs
More pronounced
Stick out  
Thighs
Arms
Shrink
But is it all in my head?
Do I just perceive myself as smaller?
trying so hard
Not to take up space
I could live under my bedroom floorboards
And still have room
For you?
My eating has felt normal but how could I remember
I don’t sleep
Did I even eat more than 1 meal today?
Yes.
Or was that yesterday?
Randy Johnson Jan 2020
It was a meal that my late mom cooked but it sure didn't please.
Every New Year Day, Mom cooked hog jowls and black-eyed peas.
I always ate it but it was something that I didn't enjoy at all.
I would've rather had pizza, Domino's was who I should've called.
I don't have to eat those meals anymore and it sets my mind at ease.
Thank God that I no longer have to eat hog jowls and black-eyed peas.
RisingUp Dec 2019
My pain is intense
My mood dips
I am fat
I feel every ounce of fat on my hips
I try
I desperately try to diminish my size
So I no longer cry
at the sight of my thighs
Body acceptance?
It all seems like lies
Drowning.

I try to restrict
Eat less and less
occasionally "binge"
what the hell, I'm a mess
Exercise more
Move to and fro
But sadly it's not working
My mood dips low
Yet my meds numb me out
Their happiness is fake
Why am I on them?
It's been several years
Don't know if I need them
They cause many tears

Deep in my heart,
I'm clearly aware that
the medication I'm on
is making me fat
Stop taking that.
I try to take less
Lower my dose with care
But withdrawal hits hard
I'm sad and aware

The lights in my head
quickly turn off
Nobody told me
this would happen when I stop
I can't win
But need a way out
Mental health care needs improving
until it does, I will shout
matilda shaye Dec 2019
is saving an antonym or a synonym for binge?
I want to believe I'm saving the best for last
but I'm only focused on how many bites I have left.
I consume faster than you can even think so
I like foods that require me to eat slowly,
the hardness of over toasted bread that *****
up your mouth when you bite into it, sour candies,
charcuterie boards that let me play with my food,
concentration on something other than the **** chewing.
the punchline is I've been dieting on and off for
three years but didn't start to lose weight until I stopped
I once kissed a girl who told me sometimes it
seemed like I was devouring her, I was
embarrassed at first until I realized
I'm just in a constant state of overindulgence -
tongue in my mouth
snacks in my sheets
I'm gnawing on you, gnawing on me,
still ******* starving
I have all the strain of being full but with none of the satisfaction.
BINGE EATING
Maria Etre Dec 2019
ED
This is a mental battle
I wish I can drown in *****
Max Neumann Dec 2019
writing without music is like











eating without food
no one:

me: this is all i'm allowing myself to eat today
Chloe Haas Nov 2019
My brain is wired this way,
obsessed with everything other than 
what it ¨should¨ be
With being small enough that if I breathe
my skin may start to bleed from
the aching bones inside of me.
The obsession with being perfect
or to be anyone,
other than me.
maledimiele Nov 2019
I could say I am sorry,
But I am not.
Because on the one hand it is a choice,
(But then again it isn’t.)
It’ll take me 3 months and 22 days,
a caloric deficit of 700,
7 hours of gymnastics a week,
half an apple instead of one,
skipping lunches three times a week,
discipline, motivation and strength,
but one day, I will be where I want to be.

I have a goal, a very specific number,
and as for now, it’s all just in my head,
and –actually- I’ve never really liked numbers ,
in school I always hated maths,
but - since I’ve started measuring every inch of happiness,
since I keep my feelings locked up in measuring cups,
I cannot imagine living without them anymore.
It feels good to have a goal again.

So, when I pinch my skin,
and cry myself to sleep at night over a *******,
when I hate myself for being myself,
I could say that I am sorry,
to me, to anyone.
But the truth is, I am not.
Not yet.
I still have a goal to finish.
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