✨WAR OF HEARTS

At chasm,
Far deep abyss of despair,
Soaked gloomy atmosphere,
In a vague sparkle,
Arrested were my eyes to see,
My numb feelings jolted,
Salvation without sanatory,
I felt a new being resurrect,
Couldn't hold my feelings anymore,
Submissive,
I wasn't in control.

I was flummoxed,
Something I couldn't explain in fistful words,
Something hadn't felt for long,
Something my heart had long lost tune to,
Nearer I drew stuck,
Pootled in with mixed feelings.

With a gaze of his eyes,
I saw him,
Charismatic inclination,
I could no longer fight my thoughts,
A nightmare all was like alike,
A place of no return in flames,
In his world, I buried my thoughts,
In an ocean of love, lost I was.

Love at first sight the moment,
but wished to be a forever sight,
For in the stars in his eyes,
Was the forever in my heart,

My eyes craved his to see,
My heart wished to rewrite what I thought was lost,
My mind desired to rescript new memories,
To see the beauty in his soul,
Stretching out deep into him,
Dancing in our love,

In his cologne,
He became my body best scent,
Everyday, wishing he'd touch me more and more,
Dining in the thoughts of,
the grab that  I would give him when he is digging deep into me to satisfaction,

An overdose of him I took,
An obsession in my addiction,
That derived me numb,

He was the star that shone among the moons,
A star that had come to recollect my heart's broken pieces together,
To recolor my planet with colors of hope,
To refill it with diamonds where nothing fitted in,

But, the more I fell for him,
the more we drifted apart,
The more it hit me,
we were of two different World's,
Flowing in a whirl of perplexed events,

War of hearts, 
Clashes of cerebrations,
Fight between reality and delusion,
Conflict between heart's feelings and mind's instincts.

Reflection of his face,
Oceans and skies,
Space between fate and destiny,
Fantastical design,
Delusional exception,
Deception world of thoughts,
Dinning imagination,
Mental pictures,
confined behind my desires and wishes.

#brokensouls

©tiana..❣ ft. Abdu_l💎

a reluctant smile as
her eyes made of glass
fixate on the plate in front of her
she is a void
both in her body
and spirit.

I knew it was bad when my fingernails were ringed
with red
as I ran them over ribbons and excused myself
from confetti cake to make them
redder.

my head was burning
a sparkling candle burning
my hands were yearning
a spazzing sticking yearning

my family was singing
a muffled stifling singing
my ears were ringing
a loud ear-piercing ringing

sing
ring
sting
stop stop stop my scalp is stinging

Nothing was clear until my fingernails
were red
and coated with pieces of my head:
rubbed raw and picked clean
You’re telling me
this is something you haven’t seen?

It doesn’t make sense because:
I don’t put pencils in a perfect pristine line
I don’t count my cheerios before I can dine
I can turn the lights on and off just fine
but my fingernails
are red
and apparently that’s a sign.


I can tell you where
every single pinprick lives
and spreads fire down my scalp
into my brain
How it tells me
your math homework can wait
save me
or you’ll go insane

My nails are short
but still red
My brain is intact
but still missing its head

Oh, how I could See the Disorder in a
demented disturbed decision
to forfeit my favorite vanilla cake
for blood

stop stop stop, i’m begging you, brain

you can’t stop; you know you need pain
leave me alone, and you’ll go insane.

A line to define us is what you imagine,
When you hear the words,
Autism Spectrum Disorder,
It generally happens.

You place us in order,
Based on our physical representation,
And here come the words that I must slaughter,
Before you draw this misrepresentation.

We are not,
The terms ‘high functioning’,
Or ‘low functioning’,
In fact this is actually quite impolite.
To give a more representable label,
Please use the terms,
Severe Autism,
Moderate,
Or mild.

Every autistic person,
Has a different set of strengths and needs,
So do not presume the ‘functioning’ term,
As it tends to arrange and mistreat,
Every autistic person,
Who experiences challenges,
In different versions.

With these terms,
We have created the gap between neurotypicals and the autistic on our own.
When after all,
A better understanding is all we need to be realistic,
Because we all share the same bones.

So, no two people you meet with autism,
Are categorically the same.
We are a spectrum of many beautiful colours,
And we are all here to play the same game.
There are multiple areas where we can succeed,
And just like you,
Others, where we are not so great.

It suppresses all sorts of resentment. And beyond all sorts of emotional disorder. A shower of it could revived a death sentenced. The thought of it healed a broken in heart. The spread of it eliminates poverty. True emotion of unconditional love.
Love to mankind.  
#C9_fm