Imagine if nobody felt pain?
Would any of us be left sane?
Why do I say so?
Because once upon a time,
There lived a stranger.
In order to quench his thirst,
He drank boiling water.
And to quench his hunger,
He lusciously chewed his mouth.
Once upon another time,
A little girl lived in a famine.
The night-snake came and bit her.
But unlike you, she didn't throb.
And deemed that he was simply playing
Both of those people plunged into pain.
Yet, they never felt pain.
Instead, they unknowingly became inhumane.
So thank God for having a conscious brain.

disease and war go hand in hand
covid wasn't a war but it felt like one

Turning in this day
Turning over in dismay
For here, as I lay,
Comforted in these sheets
A chill turns to a burning blaze
My mind trapped in a dizzying haze

Aching muscle and raspy tone
Weakness cripples every bone
Shallow comes each breath
That escapes my parched lips
To countless others it foretold death
Filmed in countless clips

But, not for I
Not in this day, not this time
Not in this peculiar rhyme
For here I shall not die

To recover
To grow stronger
Prepare for what may come
The war is not yet over
With hope, it won't be much longer
For this great disease we shall overcome.

- Jay M
June 3rd, 2021

Her eyes were filled with love
But she wasn't looking at me
Even though it physically hurt
She was happy

Every time she looked at him
My throat burned and ached
I watched her as i was violently coughing up the beautiful red pedals
Knowing i was going to die

Because i knew she would never look at me
The way she looked at him
And for some reason not loving her
Hurt more then the pedals themselves

Her beauty couldn’t compare to the throned flowers
Rapidly blooming in my throat
I would happily die knowing
That i died loving her

I was going to hold on
Despite the feeling of being set on fire
And knowing exactly how this was going to turn out
But i wanted to die with the little dignity i had left

My vision got blurry
blood dripped from my lip
My throat began to close
And With one last breath
The flowers consumed my smiling dead body

That beautiful hanahaki

Do you ever get deathly afraid
of your heart exploding?
Maybe you haven't felt like yourself
and you worry maybe you're nearing your end.
You sit up at night thinking about
this phantom illness that chills you.
You crank the heat, but you shiver in fear
at the thought of leaving this world.
In times of sadness, you thought
it might be okay to be dead.
That in comparison to the suffering
darkness would make it all okay.
But as you think this sudden change
could by some percentile mean your death.
You long for all the years ahead of you
and shed tears for your children you'll never meet.
You cry in terror until finally spared by sleep,
and maybe feel better when you awake.
You may even get some long-term relief
by way of some doctor assuring you that you're fine.
But it will only be a matter of time
before your anxiety convinces you yet again
that you are not long for this world.
And you feel stupid
for essentially worrying over nothing.
But you do hope with all of your being
in spite of past suicidal thoughts
in spite of the heartache you've experienced...

You hope with all of your being
that you might just manage to live a long, happy life.

How did I fall into the trap of yesterday?
I try to deter my thoughts but they won't go astray
I'm locked in the past, I try to escape
To claw my way out, but my efforts go to waste
The tears that endlessly fall down my cheeks
Create valleys of ones I love but can't keep
I'm fighting and screaming at my mind to leave
I can no longer stand this deadly disease

Please,
Please don’t leave this way
You don’t know
I don’t have much time left
to stay.
Please give me a hug
Let me hold you one more time
Soon it will be too late
if it goes the predictable way.
Please.......
tears don’t come out
I don’t want to break this heart
Not yet anyway.

Shell✨🐚