I write about you in my head,

Without even knowing when and how.

I do not love you like the bee loves flowers,

I do not blush for you like a brook in the sunlight.

I love you like a nocturnal psychedelia.

I love you like darkness,

Consuming and hauntingly beautiful.


I know how I want you,

Meet me on a December night.

Undress me,

Shut my eyes,

Drink me raw,

Smell my hair,

Colour me in your murky lust.

Smoke me like a cigarette,

Burn my ***** with your smouldering lips.

Annihilate me,

Fail me,

Love me and then, leave me.


Sing Sinatra to me,

Ruin a song,

A song that I cannot listen to, again.

I want to wake up next to you,

Looking at your face, knowing you can’t be mine.

I’ll bring you coffee in bed,

Be gone before I come,

Escape from the back door.

Be the infidel Zeus,

Leave me naked in your linen, whiffing.

Annihilate me,

Fail me,

Love me and then, leave me.



**** me in the wintry mist,

I’ll scream in the starry night.

Leave me shivering with a gushing sadness

Curled up on the cold floor, naked

Forget me, disengage,

Love me and then, leave me, would you?

what have you done to me.
i let you undress me with your eyes,
slowly and reassuringly.
and then aggressively with your hands,
undoing the buttons on my shirt
and unzipping my jeans
nearly ripping the fabric right from under me.

pulling me across the bed
breathing heavily into my ear,
i'm remembering why
i ever called you mine in the first place.
we decorated these walls with our fingerprints
and they remain as memories of every time we've touched.

now why you?
is it your scent, is it your skin?
the way the marks you leave on my stomach
feel like you every time i touch them?
its you that i want, its you that keeps me here
when i should be with whom i claim to love.

when you were mine,
it was a perfect dream,
we ran through the war with not a scratch
not a dent in our skin.
we got out of the mess,
accompanying each other through the storm.

I should have let you sit in the driveway,
I should have never let you walk through the front door.
Why couldn't you have left me alone in this room
without your taunting glares
begging for the affection i crave so much.

I swore i wouldn't do this.
I swore i wouldn't kiss your neck again,
i swore i wouldn't make you want me.

but I gave in.
so here you are
once again.
you're lying on my bed,
and i'm on top of you.

Just once I'd like to give into my desires
I'd wrap myself around you
Let my tongue surround you
Have my fingers pound you
And get nervous around you
I'd get anxious at the anticipation of where your head and hands are dipping into
The sweet succulent of tender flesh
Has me making so much mess
But still your tongue moves steadfast
Waiting for my frame to collapse

Money..
Money..
And..
Money..
The hearts deepest desires,
And money...
Have not one day,
When I thought about money?

As evil as it is,
It still fills a mind..
I, too, and so do you!

As deep as life takes you,
And as far as socialism takes you,
Will you even bother to think of
Money...?

If you ever asked me,
"What do you want?"
I would always reply
Money...

Give me a cocktail,
Give me whiskey,
I need to be drunk tonight,

Give me a potion,
Give me happy pills,
I need to disappear from light,

Let there be darkness,
- the demons,
I want to be possessed this time,

Let there be pain,
Just a little bit of disgrace,
I don't want to be "just fine",

Tune in Mayday Parade,
Let it knock my head,
I really want to feel alive,

I don't see if you care,
So let there be knives and blades,
I want to be dead at the same time

Bleached out hair and sunken-in eyes.
Bracing for yet another goodbye.

Being promised not to be used
yet you'd rather be abused.

Dreaming of one day wearing a white dress-
knowing the reality of your life being a mess.

Turning twenty-one is not that fun
when all you want is to be one with your daddy tying your hair in a bun.

Memories that don't seem real -
the only tangible things that make you feel.

Full face of makeup and dressed to the nines -
the only thing I can control and call mine.

A soft kiss-
something I'll let myself miss.

Bleached out hair and sunken-in eyes,
bracing for yet another goodbye.