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Aahoc 1h
There once was a day when we both wore stripes
Distinct lines that undeniably connected us to each other.
Mine had already shifted to black.
Yours were still a light gray –
Soft and subtle.

Now I watch you stand on your own.
Head held high with understated confidence.
Be it sincere or feigned,
doesn't matter.
You're clad in plaid –
Infused with the stripes and lines embracing you all around as contributing designers silently admire in awe.

The black tee underneath —
the closest visible cloth to your heart —
pulls it all together.
You keep it concealed and dear,
Yet show enough to share.
Constant reminder.
We all know it's the reason we're here.

There will come a day
When your whole ensemble is painted
With every hue and shape imaginable.
The influences of past, present, and future
All melded into one stunning garment -
The monarch knows no such splendor.

Soon enough, the black tee will be cast to the side and long forgotten -
Inevitably replaced with an everlasting warm embrace.

Never again will I hear you say,
"I hate change."
Much thought, that I've invested
into the disposal of my fleshy, mangled hull.
Exquisite cadaver, worn and tested,
infested with maggots, fattening themselves
on marrow, digging through my skull.

Take your pick upon my passing,
most I've shared my plans with.
All you who know what to do,
though it might be a minute.
Those plans were made in dire times,
expectant of winter's end in a blink.

Strap my sack of bloated meat to
a float, equipped with fireworks and gunpowder.
Light the fuse, send me to sea, make it rain.
Feed the fish, marvel at macabre shower
of total annihilation and colors of
bliss, rainbows and proud refuge in
endless abstract nothing.

Grind my bones into dust, feed the earth,
grow your plants and inhale my essence.
Satiate your curiosity, save a finger,
fry it in canola oil and do tell
what I taste like
once you're down here with me.

Pick a painting on my skin,
it's yours for the taking.
Frame it, jar it, keep me around.
For the curious occasion that
I rise from the ground
and observe some patches missing.
Stuff me with wool, embalm my cadaver,
set me up in grizzly stance.

Whatever you do, don't mourn me.
I've seen the nature of this world,
enough for seven lifetimes.
Mourn the fact that
we lost one more degenerate
but don't mourn me out of love.

If you feel so inclined then
mourn me out of spite
and take a clue from Thomas,
same as I decided
to rage and not give in.

My plans have changed, I'd
like to stay around. But
should the void ever find me,
read this poem out
and take your pick
upon my passing.
Make my exit
strange, massive, morbid
and wonderfully loud.
it flows like sap down my left hand
slow at first, but steadily gathering speed
warm drops of life drip down my fingers
a beautiful dark crimson hue covers the floor
the contrast is quite astounding
the dark red against the white tile
the red is on a ravenous war path
dead set on conquering every bit of white
the white puts on a valiant fight
to hold back the conquering red
but it is futile, the battle is already lost…
as the red covers the last bit of white
I close my eyes
i was but fifteen
when you betrayed me
i was just blooming
when you snuffed out my flame

I had so much to live for
after hiding for two years
i thought i would be safe
but you brought death upon me

I was in love with Peter
he was in love with me
i was going to marry him
we were going to be happy

Margot was but eighteen
she hadn't lived her life
just like peter hadn't his
and i hadn’t mine

but you killed us all
but i don't hate you
because i've never hated
rather i feel sorry for you

you couldn't see the innocence
of our young childhood
you had to ***** it out
you had to see us dead

i feel sorry for you
you must have so much hatred
stored in your inner being
i truly feel sorry for you
Where are you, oh death, my friend
I’ve never shook your cold hand
but I feel like I know you so well
I think about you all the time
I look for you everywhere I go
why do you avoid me like this?
why can’t you just say hi
just wave to me from afar
Tap me on my shoulder when I am asleep
hit me over the head with the rainbow
whisper in my ear and say ‘ala mai’
kiss my coffin and tell me to sleep
Look at me from the mountaintop
say to me you will visit me soon
I wait longingly for that day
when you will squeeze my hand
and take me away to that field
the field of many daylilies
lay me down on the blue thorns
let the long green grass grow over me
let them hide me with their long blades
let me be lost in the green mini jungle
let me lie there and forget the world
and let the world forget me
never to be remembered ever again
i am on my bed, laying on my back
i am looking at the ceiling
i get a strange sensation
that i am not alone in the room

i have laid here on this bed
a million times before
but there is something different today
there is an eerie mist moving around

i see figures walking around in silence
some i know, some i don't
some from the present some from the past
they've all come to say goodbye

you see, i am dying
the next few moments will be my last
don't feel bad, i have no regrets
at least, i'd like to think i don't

the mysterious figures hover over me
they look at me with burning anger in their eyes
i do not know these figures
i do not know why they are angry at me

then i recognize one figure
he is a ghost from the past
he is the ghost of the book i never wrote
you see, i once wanted to be a writer

then i recognize another
he is the ghost of the orphanage
that i never built for the street kids
you see, i once wanted to help the poor

then i recognize yet another
he is the ghost of the racial equality
that i never fought for
you see, i once wanted to fight for justice

yet another ghost i recognize
this time, it’s the ghost of adventure
the adventures i never went on
you see, i once wanted to travel the world

then i see a familiar ghost
this is the ghost of all the missed opportunities
missed chances to help mankind
you see, i once wanted to be a humanitarian

ah, here is one i know well
it is the ghost of sobriety
something i didn't fight hard enough for
you see, once i dreamed of being a teetotaler

I see many more ghosts
now i recognize every single one of them
i find it hard to withstand their anger
they are angry because i never brought them to life

now i understand their anger
all my life i have neglected
my responsibility to give them life
so they must remain dead forever

the ghosts are getting ready to carry me away
one look in their eyes and i see
that it won't be to paradise
i am powerless to protest

heed this warning, you among the living
learn from my mistakes
do not waste your talents
make use of every opportunity

it is too late for me
but you still have time
never let a chance to help
others pass you by
You look so peaceful in your sleep
with that beautiful look of serenity on your face
you look like an angel taking a nap
so exquisite, so elegant, so delicate
I wonder if you are dreaming
and if you are dreaming
are you dreaming of me?
are you dreaming of the times we’ve had
the good and the bad?
Are you dreaming of the first time
I held you in my arms and kissed your lips?
are you dreaming of the time I whispered in your ear
that I love with all my heart?
You look so peaceful, without a care in the world
your lips curled up into a seductive smile
your cheeks a rosy hue shining like night fly
I wonder if you are dreaming
But how can you be dreaming?
how can anything be on your mind?
how can your heart be beating
yesterday you breathed you last
I have come to the door so many times
and placed my finger on its latch
gripped it tight and then… stopped…
terrified of what’s on the other side
What’s on the other side?
would be good, or would it be bad?
would it be bliss or would it be sorrow?
I could only guess
Not knowing what lies beyond
I could never gather up the courage
to open this mysterious door
and enter through to explore
But now, after all these years
I am finally ready to open the door
no longer am I afraid of what lies beyond
this gateway that’s been my tormentor
But before I go, I must bid farewell
for this is a one-way door
everyone who’s ever walked through it
has never been seen, nevermore
for this is a one-way door and death is its name
I want to watch the sunrise from atop Sigiriya
I want to feel the warmth of the ****** sun rays
I want to stare at the sun until my eyes start to burn
but first I have to live

I want to swim in the turquoise blue ocean
I want to joke with the dolphins as I swim with them
I want to ride the friendly turtle’s thirteen moons
but first I have to live

I want to fly high with the majestic eagle
I want to soar up above the highest mountain peek
I want to get a birds eye view of the world below
but first I have to live

There are so many things I want to do
so many places I want to go
but first I have to live
so bring me back to life
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