My old darling, she sighed,
as she relinquished my affections
roses and keepsakes,
delicacies and carnal delights.

Your pining weighs heavy,
she whispered in fatigue,
I cannot bear your sorrows
as I kiss you goodbye.

Holding my slack-jawed chin, she smiles,
this will be the last time,
for there is a world to see
that's bigger than you...

Her kisses needle
like the deathly caress of winter.
Her lustful embrace
like the coils of a python.
Even inside she is jagged and unforgiving
as is a cave sought out in desperation
discovered to be the abode of a black bear.

Yet I need her.

I cannot let her go.
I insist, take from me my skin,
my soul.
Whatever you need to stay warm.
Whatever will cover your hollow form.
If I should shiver, it is in my fear of your abandon.
If I should cry, it is the milk upon which you shall suckle.
If I should die, it is only that you may feast.
But please,
let it not be the last time...

Is it mortal anger that you desire?
Do you crave wrath in its divine fervor?!

Is it a devil may care grin you favor?
Do you lust for my cold shoulder, akin to tundras and the endless expanse of space?

It'll be fine, she says,
there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Fish for you.
Fish for me.

The last time!
I bellow,
any moment could be our last!
Any breath can become a rasping choke for life!
Any midnight stroll could turn you into roadkill!
Any night of the soul could be your last grip upon sanity!

Any romance can become a suicide.

Any last time could be your last time alive.

You say it's the last time?
Then our love is surely dead,
and I am that ghost wandering in those halls,
looking for you,
calling out in vain,
for you have moved on to the after life.
After us.

Last time?
I guess there's a first time for everything,
even the end.

Tell me, Father...
Which do I ask forgivness for?
What I am, or what I am not?
Which should I regret?
What I became or what I didn't?

Nightmares...

are like poetry,

At least metaphorically,

The metaphors are like falsified honesty,

So unreal and yet they express how we really feel,

Maybe that’s why we cannot dream

When we feel insane,

Because are honest nightmares are now the real deal,

So we lay still,

Eyes open,

Reality broken,

Stuck hoping,

That the ceiling has the answers

But it's shy

It hates talking,

We lay there thinking

What this life is,

What it represents,

Waging wars in our heads,

It’s a crisis of identity

When all the past mistakes

Leave so many things unsaid,

When those big dreams of the past have gone and fled,

Laying in our comfortable but uncomforting bed,

We ask ourselves

Who we could have been,

Who we could be,

If only those shooting stars could grant our wishes and help us see,

If each star in the sky...

Gave each person their identity,



If only it was that easy…

I guess for now we’ll just stay stuck...

With these identity crises

Why are there entire cities to drain,
When Somewhere in my village,
People are dying for a drop of rain
Coming from a cave through a seepage?

Why are many places flooded elsewhere
When the drought there is constant
And People are struggling everywhere
To moisturize the soil just to plant?

Why are young Maasai men digging
For hours Into the patched African soil
Searching way into the humid evening
For a drop of water, they have to toil?

Why did nature leave my playground arid
When she rains down billions of liters in Texas?
Streetlights, no lights, drought at the power grid,
Scolding of nature is the caveat of the water crisis.

Why did God give us diamonds and gold,
How can he bless us with an abundance of minerals?
Then seal up the skies and put the rains on hold?
Turning the crisis to a vulture's feast and human funerals.

#IvanBrooksPoetry©️