Dear Tristan,

          You're a coward,  
          But you're too scared to admit it

What do I know about you, really?
For certain, only a few things.
Nothing about pictures or loves,
about the ghosts in your heart,
or something as simple as your cigarrette brand.
I've noticed that I know just enough
so I can never reach.

We can die laughing, that's true
and that is important for someone
who doesn't laugh enough. As I.

If I told you that I wouldn't mind to know
what make your eyes like two burnt holes in a blanket,
would you shred my ears to pieces?

If I confessed that I hang on your words
like a thrilled coward, that I have died many times,
would you fell silent?

These are the kind of questions
someone who doesn't know have.

I accept that I also keep people in the dark.
Flying blind, they must think "here goes nothing",
while they yearn for the ground. Have I done that to you?

If I was to fling myself onto you, for that matter,
absurd as the notion sounds, would you flinch away
and ask me to give my head a shake?

I know we are getting into the realm of imposible things,
of things that can blow in my face. Don't mind me,
let me quietly keep on barking to the moon.

Let's get this to a conclusion.
Of the few things I know, one is this:
you told me you are dark chocolate.
I will be sincere and confese that
I don't see where you're coming from.
One thing I know and I tell you now,
your are sweeter than that.

Diminishing the hope in which you thrived.
Allowing for the demise of the greatest warrior.
Cowering in fear of the unknown,
So you remain silent.

☆TRIGGER WARNING☆

Stop shaking

Maybe you didn't press hard enough
So the bleeding will stop after an hour
And you’ll only be left feeling light-headed
Proving that you didn't have it in you

Try harder

If you want to commit ******
You have to commit to it
There is no half-assing a crime
It’s either all or nothing
And you've already gotten your hands *****
If you stop now
You'll be caught
But it's hard to be fearless
When the murderer and the victim are both you
Right?
So…

Be braver

If you over analyse this
Your victim-side
Will prevent you from cutting deep enough
You have a sharp blade
But your will is weak
So strengthen it

Push past the pain

If it hurts
Good
Of course it'll hurt!
It’s death
If you truly want it
Then your murderer-side
Will get over the agony and the guilt
To seek the power to succeed

Embrace the feeling

If you hospitalize yourself again
Your family won't forgive you this time
So finish the ******* job
Because the pills only gave you a tummy-ache
And the noose snapped under your weight
And the gun that Daddy hides doesn't have any bullets in it
So this is a last resort

Find your courage

If the bleeding stops
Pick up the blade
And try again
Don't be stupid by cutting horizontally
You've seen enough TV to know
That the cuts have to be vertical

Be desperate

If you feel yourself getting tired
Let yourself sleep
It means you're getting away with ******
It means you're succeeding

Don't wake up

If you do
You didn’t try hard enough
You weren't brave enough
You didn’t push past the pain
You couldn't embrace the feeling
You never found your courage
You weren't desperate enough

You're a failure
You're a ******* coward.

I have always been a loner
and to me that was fine
I liked being by myself
and I spend so much time
wandering around thinking
about how the world could be

I have always been a dreamer
This world was not for me
theres way too much rules
But I wanted to be free
I dont need power or money on mass
I just wanted to be safe
and not a person out of glass

I have always been honest
and never backed out
stood up for mistakes
And never had a doubt
about doing the right thing

I have never been a coward
and rarely dropped a tear
I always met challenges
and rarely feld fear

But then the day came
When I first saw her smile
To see it again I would run through hell
and it would be worth every mile
She made my brain freeze
and my heart stopped a while
It was a moment like no other
this moment of her smile

Its been a year and my feelings wont budge
but Im too afraid to ask her out
A yes from her would change my life
But i guess that is what love is about

I dont want to be alone anymore
And theres no need to dream when she is around
Her no is the only thing that I fear
but I guess I have to stand my ground

I am a coward
Im too weak for this
I guess I should stop it
And never hope for a kiss

I tried to forget her
and go back to the start
but her glance broke my will
and her smile stole my heart

Remote area where there is no screen
Timidity rules alone trying to save skin.
Of all evils in the creation under discipline
Timidity  – a curse – is like a Saccharin.
Sugary as tweet, booming as a violin
Wicked as a fox, ill-mannered as Bedouin;
Timidity sneaks secretly physique within
And remains there undisturbed and akin.
When obligatory duty or slog is seen
Sharpens us, whet us till found Lenin.
This makes us skinny, lanky and thin.
Living timid for me is no than a sin.
Hence precaution must be taken, O Kin!
Timidity, a severe knight, should not reign
Over us from beginning to let out jinn.

An elaborate nightmare about fascists
running amok on nameless American streets
dominated a long sleep
after an endless week of servitude at the job.

In the nightmare, socialists in a nameless American town
battled torch-bearing white men without souls
in bland polo shirts and khakis.
A pervasive aroma of wood-fired smoke,
beer, and diesel fumes cut us off from the natural world
as the Neo-Nazis and their allies surrounded us.

In the throes of the crippling effects of dread and fear
the few of us, brothers and sisters of love and compassion,
the very young and the very old,
pushed forward to fight as warrior poets,
in remembrance of our grandparents,
for our children,
and for ourselves.

In the dream's periphery, blank faces of cowards
I've known for life looked on from sidewalks.
They refused to fight,
and instead they cracked sarcastic jokes
about both sides.