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The Revisitor Aug 23
you love through squinted eyes—
ever so conditional.
you love me not for my body,
not for my mind
you love me for who i could be,
not for who i am
nor who i was

you cast a rose tinted shadow of me
and you call him yours
you never turn the corner to view the reference
is it just as beautiful?
i doubt it’s so.
thoughts on conditional love.
Jacob Reilly May 2021
The first time your love has to be hidden, you'll understand that "I love you" is a commitment.

You've always told of abstract loves: people, dates, fun that never yet happened. But he... he's different. This boy is not abstract. He's your first. Your first, and your secret.

The first time you met was an early day for you both, but beautiful nonetheless. The first date; the first time you've ever shown this vulnerable side of you. Holding hands and flying high -- so high you are in the clouds. You've never felt so free. Nothing, nothing holding you back. When he closes in to hold you as the horizon approaches -- as you fall into a state of carefree desire, brace yourself. You can't help but think, "where will we go next, him and I?" To-be scenes so vivid flood your imagination. And you know what? It's quite a sight, to look forward to a future brimming with life; a future so bright it makes your heart soar, as if heaven itself was right at your feet. You could try forever to describe it but... you smile because what's next to come is everything you never knew you've always wanted. This is it. Right here, right now.

Your first art project with another person, your first theatrical event & first request to be someone's boyfriend just as the clock strikes midnight, your first everlasting pitter-patter of your heart over someone so deserving, your first Valentine's day that you aren't contentedly alone but are happily in a relationship, your first shower with another person, your first haunted attraction experience, your first sleep-over & first waking up to someone so lovely, your first sneaking a boy through your house & first hot tub adventure whilst your family sleeps, your first "time" with him, your first midnight rendez-vous, your first SeaWorld fun day & first Busch Gardens extravaganza & first circus adventure, your first time meeting his sister, your first sharing of aspirations to someone else, your first asking him to revise your homework with you, your first dinner date & first saying "I love you" in the back seat of his car as tomorrow sends you back home, your first planning of a vacation that too soon will be postponed, your first planning a week together once school is out to sleep-over and everything else, your first discussion that ends as an argument, your first crying over someone who loves you under conditions only, your first make-up "act", your first Ikea trip, your first waking up too late for another more-or-less important commitment but to you he was the most important, your first serious phone call, your first break-up.

Your first time saying "I still love you" in your dark, lonesome closet, awaiting a reply, an echo, something. But you know that your love is unconditional, while his has its limitations; unrequited love will never yield your dreams. The pain of losing him is not abstract, it's concrete. This pitter-patter love won't go away. 

No... the first time your love has to be hidden, you'll understand that "I love you" is a burden.
Nolan Willett Jun 2019
The door has been opened, the curtains lifted
That which is unseen now I see
And though through my life I have drifted
In woeful ignorance of its majesty
It’s beauty unknown to me
My soul is now uplifted
Wrogue K Nov 2018
How do you,
tell the person you pushed away
that they didn't reach out enough
after you asked for some space

Is it really my fault?
Am I really to blame
for the passive aggression we misplaced

Slip. Slip. Slip through my fingers
Do I let you fade away?
Btw, it was you who ran away.
WordsHelp Nov 2018
“I love you, unconditionally.”

But yet you hurt me with words and actions.

“I love you, unconditionally.”

You use me for yourself and treat me like an object.

“I love you, unconditionally.”

Your jokes, though you think they are nothing, dig deeper every time.

“I love you, unconditionally.”

Your hands don’t feel like love anymore.

“I love you, unconditionally.”

Your eyes aren’t filled with happiness anymore.

“I love you, unconditionally.”

When do I draw the line?

“I love you, unconditionally.”

How long do I let my unconditional love hurt, deceive, and break me?

“Do you love me...unconditionally?”

And to my new love?

“I love you, conditionally.”
Many people say love should be unconditional...but when it is hurting you, changing you into something you are not, and destroying you from the inside out should you continue to say you love them unconditionally. People may say it isn't really love, then, if it isn't unconditional, but I think there should be a few conditions that come with love...
There's no point in splitting hairs
No point in pointing a finger
It's done
The pages are all torn
Trashed and scattered
And dragged through the gutter
Like yesterdays garbage
And all that rope
I supposedly gave
A phantom
There never was a rope,
A leash, nor a chain
Those things are not for sale
At the well
No there never was a rope
Except perhaps
For  the one attached
To the water bucket
From which
We still
Quietly sip
The miles
Of sea
And storm
And time
As long as we stay
This way
This well
Will never dry up

2016-2017 for the attempt to make unconditional, the conditional.
From my collection Bits And Pieces/Slamming on the Hollywood Freeway 2017 amazonbooks
Heidi Ludwiczak Feb 2018
Midnight run
running my mouth...
uttering my thoughts,
You stayed quietly
Absolutely you turned your back like---
I don't exist, you shut down.

Midnight run,
my mind restless --- unsure of my nefarious notions
slowly creeping the words of insecurity

"you make me feel this way"

Midnight run,
I'm out of breath
I'm out of time
I'm out of love

Midnight run,
My heart is gone.
Love misconstrued to be clingy, selfish and taking. While the true meaning is not to be attached but giving your self fully. But in our world, this is what we called love, two way street of only the good things --- and the bad well, love is a hard concept of life. Whichever way you view love, then that's what it is.
Hanna Mae Mata Oct 2015
If you want me
to do the dishes,
you need to leave
your heart
beside the sink.
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