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alasia May 2019
I feel as though I am a slave to destruction, knees nailed to rickety floorboards that creak against creation. I am head bowed, pleading for pleasure against the cacophony of the ******, washing white floors with grime. I am the harbinger of ends, an omen of unhappiness. I am question marks, red streaks, spilled coffee on loved words. I am torment, tormented by the ways I’ve been tormenting the things I love. I am oceans inviting and striking with no warning, hurricanes gently shaking before swallowing and devastating, promise land offering refuge and whiting out identities because nobody gets to be free. I am shackled to remorse, self hatred, anxiety. A prisoner of pain, daughter of broken glass, born in spider breaks, marked by shards and splinters. I am the whisper of ruin rattled through crows calling home across worlds and realms. I am jutted bones cutting into flesh collecting blood for breakfast and sorrow for supper, feeding famine to families I am familiarly unfamiliar with. I am cast away, fallen angel, victim to the rise of hope and sequestered from safety. Left to forage fight in fields long forgotten, to discover decades of indecency and be punished by punishing the lucky ones. The thinned wrist souls slipping from restraints, to make commodity of clear consciouses, and deliver doom promised by our ancestors. I am an agent of misery, a companion of karma, nothing more than a slave to destruction.
Xant Apr 2019
You look dreadfully charming today
But Oh,
haven't you see me already?


Maybe I'm still too far from your gaze
But I am already attached to your flair
For I can see you crystal clear


Still can't see me?
Do you remember me?
Or do you not know me at all?
I'll just wait another day and maybe
Just maybe, you'll see me


My, oh my
I can't help but to put a long face
My presence is more of a fate


I'm your lifelong companion
I've been here since you were born
I'm always here when you're alone
I've always been here
Yet you never notice


I'll just wait another day and maybe
Just maybe, you'll see me


You still can't see me?
Strange, for I don't even hide in the dark
Everywhere I lurk I make the dogs bark
But still I am forsaken
Yet so inevitable,
I am inevitable indeed


And unseen
Untouchable
Only until it is time
For us to meet


I thrive from the frights of the souls when they see me roll
Like they never know I exist
Like I'm a beast

But today, my friend, it is time
For you and I

-from Death,
Your Lifelong Companion
Y'all been sleeping on mr. Death. He been following us everywhere yet y'all never notice him :(
Zell Apr 2019
Fingers to wipe the tears
Flowing from my river of fears,
A warmth of a tight embrace
As i struggle to win this race.

I long for a single soul
To help me cover each hole
That constantly drained me
Til i could no longer be

I haven't seen a hint of light
Not even a rescue in sight
The pain struck like a dagger
That i've even forgotten anger 

I beg for someone to hear
Someone brave to come near
To see what is within
Buried in this devilish skin

I wish someone could understand
How i got this bloodstained hand
I wish someone would dare
To clean my wounds with care

A single voice to speak,
A gentle touch of a hand,
Ears ready to listen,
A heart to weep with me.
© 2019 D.A. Barreras
Drusila Mar 2019
I always carry with me some rain in the pocket of my pants

To irrigate the yellow meadows of the paths I travel in this world
When the nights are not clear at daybreak
And its silence almost deafens me
I take a little rain out of my pocket
And your melody is my only company

Occasionally when I wear my jeans with fake pockets
I carry rain in the pocket of my t-shirt
A small pocket in the lapel
Just for precaution
Because maybe today is the day when the skies will claim you back

There were times when I wanted my skin to tell the happy stories of my childhood, and of my present fresh youth
Instead, it told tales of strenuous anguish

But the rain cleared these tales
At least most of them
Now my skin says nothing and my voice chooses what to share

When the days are terribly hot but dark
And suddenly breathing becomes the most difficult task of the day,
I ask her to rain torrentially

And when I'm home alone reading a book near that small window in my room
She remembers to keep me company,
She remembers that at two o'clock in the afternoon, a book and I tune in
and she serenades to me
winter Mar 2019
what a heavy heart i hold
when an ex-lover tells me
of his 2a.m. window
how he stares through it and cries
he longs to be held,
by anyone, though not me
but i can sing for him
through little videos of folk
and little words of honey
"I'm older now than I have any right to be
Old enough to repaint and young enough to sell
I feel tired
I want to be held
I'm just
Cold"
I told him once how life was short,
but love grew old
My trust is nervous
he has the right to be so dear to me
I'll hold this pain forever
I'll let it rest within
every weathering and lacing moment
where the knots in his hair have been
I still have this window
I still have his heart
I still feel his warmth
even without him
Arisa Mar 2019
Be my friend and I will save your life.

Betray me once and I will spare it.

betray me twice and I will take it.

betray me thrice and
wow, carol,
did you really have to be a ***** today?
what is wrong with you.
We all have that one ***** tbh
winter Mar 2019
he allows himself to rest,
forgetting his uncertainties
and just lets go
no mas puede llevar las cosas
que tiene que llevar
para vivir otro dia
to face the life of Everyman
challenged of his lusts
forsaken of companionship
oh hijo mio que vivía valiente
taking his first step into the void
duerme pa siempre
querido del mundo
and one of all man
Nomkhumbulwa Feb 2019
You were my everything,
I've always known  you were special.
But only now I realise,
How much I needed you my little girl.

You were my constant companion,
Never left me alone,
Always by my side,
Even after I left you alone.

You forgave me everytime,
I left you home alone,
Sometimes months at a time,
I was gone.

You trusted me always,
At the door on my return,
Waiting to greet me,
But I could tell you were concerned.

You had been abandoned,
Early in life,
I know you had a difficult start
Moving from shelter to shelter is no life.

We were supposed to be together,
I knew I needed to help you,
Rescue you from a sad untimely death,
And give you a loving home.

You had nowhere to go,
All those years ago
I couldnt let you die.,
You had to come and be mine.

You were more than just company,
You were a true friend,
They told me you didnt like cuddles,
But I found out thats all you wanted in the end.

You helped me more than any human,
You were so loving and kind,
You understood everything about me,
You were there when I lost my mind.

You let me cry on you,
You saw me cut myself,
But you never ran away,
Although I know you didnt want me to cut.

I loved you very much,
And I know you loved me too,
And I hope that you understood
How much I really loved you.

You saved my life one morning,
When our smoke alarms failed,
The house filling with smoke at 5am,
You got me out of bed.

Even Qasem loved you,
For when I was stuck in hospital,
He got over his fear as a Muslim,
He made friends with you, didnt mind your poo.

I always knew how you felt,
You showed me your disgust,
When I brought home the school gerbils,
And you pooped on my bed in disgust.

You looked after me in Aberdeenshire,
As I looked after you,
I know our house was very cold,
You got used to the coal fire so soon.

You helped me move back to Arran,
Im sorry for how stressful that was,
Such a long time to spend in a box,
But we had no choice but for trains, boats and bus.

I had lived here before,
But for you it was all very new,
Yet you adapted so quickly,
Walked out of your box, like you knew.

I know you were happy on Arran,
You settled in so quickly,
It was liked you'd always lived here,
Maybe because we were close to the sea.

My people got fewer and fewer,
But your loyalty was forever,
I know sometimes you were hungry,
We were both hungry at these times.

I never meant to neglect you,
And I know you understood,
I'd do anything so you didnt go hungry,
When I couldnt get out of bed.

I cooked fish from the freezer,
Though I know it wasnt your favourite,
I never meant to make you sick,
Your body just wasnt used to it.

I am sorry for how much I left you,
You lit up my life when I returned,
I trusted the people left to feed you,
Knew they'd take care of you while I was gone.

I was so happy to see you,
Looking healthy and content,
With your bright yellow eyes shining,
And your comforting purr of content.

Thank you for looking after me,
Many times you kept me going,
Although I have wanted to die,
I could never leave you my darling.

I had to stay alive,
I know you needed me,
No one else could be here for you,
And I know how much you loved me.

I may have gone away at times,
But I was always pleased to see you,
I knew you were here waiting,
And I always thought about you.

You became my only companion,
Nearly everyone else had gone,
You showed so much compassion,
You never left me alone.

I got to know you so well,
You went out a little in the sun,
But you never wandered far,
Wanting the door left open for a quick return.

Im sorry for the times you got stuck outside,
I know it didnt happen a lot,
But you always went to hide somewhere,
I know the fear now, it can be too much.

I know how it feels now,
I get the panic and fear too,
My legs collapse for no reason,
I know how it must have been for you.

When you got so sick,
I hated seeing you in pain,
But I knew you still wanted to be here,
And I kept promising, mummy will end the pain.

You were like a little angel,
Took your medicine so well,
Let me feed you by syringe,
You wanted to be here still, I could tell.

But then you were in such pain,
All night you'd lie so close to me,
Resting your bleeding tumour
Against my neck, the pain I could see.

Then I knew you didnt want to be here,
You were tired and had had enough,
You looked at me, trusted me to end your pain,
The tumour bleeding, swollen, you couldnt close your mouth.

I knew when you sat out in the cold,
You wanted it to end,
You were hoping you would die,
But I didnt want you to starve, so your body was still strong.

I could see you were in pain,
I could feel it too,
I even got used to the smell of your tumour,
So close to my face, as I tried to comfort you.

I'd wanted to give you diazepam,
But I knew from my training its not right,
But I did give you extra pain killers,
On your very last night.

I didnt want you to suffer,
Anymore than you were,
And it seemed to help you settle,
And these nights would now be no more.  

Mummy asked the vet to come tomorrow,
You had told me it was time,
I let you listen to the birds and music,
Comforting you until she came.

I wanted to take you to bed again,
But I know that would have been wrong,
I didnt want to end you life,
But otherwise, I would have been cruel, and wrong.

You enjoyed your last meal,
Some tasty treats came in the post,
You had more medication,
To ease the pain, as the time drew close.

The hours seemed to last forever,
But I was happy to see you at ease,
The vet came to our house,
You had your sedative on my knees.

You are not keen on strangers,
And tried to go and hide,
But the sedative worked quite quickly,
I picked you up and cuddled you till it was time.

Your body went limp,
You were so sleepy,
And the vet shaved your leg,
Much more humane that the heart, I agree.

Then she injected a huge dose of barbiturate,
Your heart stopped almost instantly,
Mummy wanted that injection too,
You died quickly upon my knee.

Now you are in the garden,
And I am so sorry,
But I did everything I could,
I cant let you in anymore, but I really wish I could.

I am really lost without you,
More than I expected,
Never knew i'd feel this alone,
Dont know what I expected.

The house now feels unsafe,
The panic does things to my body,
Nightmares wake me up,
And now you're not here to help me.

I wish I could have gone with you,
And we could still be together,
No more pain for either of us,
We'd be together forever.

I am so sorry Tiggy, please forgive me, thank you for everything,
love from mummy ***
I wrote this for my cat.  Pathetic as that sounds.  But I loved her so much.
Jay Feb 2019
Partner, companion, friend.
My dear lover,
My beloved muse.
I understand now what I did not know before.
Things I could not have known, without you.
Our lives have become an expedition of searching the deepest parts of our minds.
Understanding the past, hoping for the future, and going with the present.
There is no rule book when it comes to caring for another person, no rule book for love.
It does not stand alone.
You cannot have love without sorrow,
Without anger,
Without joy.
It’s vulnerable.
Love is, vulnerable.
It’s showing all of your cards, hoping they accept.
It’s watching them blossom, sometimes, away from you.
It’s selfish, and selfless.
My dear lover,
My beloved muse.
Your tenderness, I will never forget.
There is warmth in my heart, where your name lays.
I love you.
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