I hear you talk,
I see your lips moving.
The shape of your mouth forming letters after letters.

I smile and agree.
Eyes crinkle with mirth,
My voice booms in the space between us and the silence of the universe.

I see you,
I hear you,
But do I really?

I'm there, but I'm not.
I feel, but I don't.
I smile, when I feel pain
And I talk when I'm not sure what to say.

It's not me you're talking to,
But my body responding to you,
Like an autopilot.

It is a tumor, a cancer, spreading within
It leads me to stop and quickly give in.
It is a fear, a fight, an attack without sin
It is a tumor, a cancer, waiting to begin

It is an insect, a bug, eating my skin
It gnaws, chews and swallows again.
It is a hornet, a thorn, a venom akin.
It is an insect, a bug, drinking me in.

It is a shriek, a scream, yelling herein
It wails, bellows a terrible shrill din
It is a banshee, a siren, a death grin
It is a shriek, a scream, breaking me in.

I thought I was in control.
I promised myself that it wouldn’t happen again,
And it was going so well, it really was.
But things appear to have fallen through.

I tried, you know, I really did,
But it’s like a darkness consumes me,
A howling tempest grips my chest,
And no matter how hard I struggle,
I just cannot break free.

My mind tells one story,
My mouth expresses another.
Words that are not my own form,
And all that remains are regrets.

Emotions soak up my vocabulary
With their spongy fibers,
Porous and clinging to my syllables
As if they were not mine to possess in the first place.
Feelings are like dragons,
Hoarding my words like gold.
I am hyper-verbal and hyper-lexic,
So many sentiments and letters to call upon,
But they are always out of order when
I want to tell you "I Love You!"
I say, "Please let me know you got home safe,"
Instead.

An exercise in line breaks.  See below

Give me notice (Version One)

Give me notice
For life is short
I might have more to do
Than rest on your doorstep
Hoping you will open the latch
Greet me with a smile
Suggest we spend the day
Viewing the community pond
Feeding the ducks
Cementing our bond

Give me notice
So I will not
Fall in love alone

Give Me Notice (Version Two)

GIVE ME NOTICE

Give me notice
Life
can be short

I might have
more to do

Than rest
on your doorstep

Hoping
you will
open the latch

Greet me
with a smile

Suggest we
spend the day

By the village pond

Feeding
the ducks

Cementing
our bond

Give me
notice

So I
will not
fall in love
alone

~ If selfishness precipitates, love will evaporate ~


Perfect present from heaven above
You and I, we fit like a glove
Please let's not fight
It's just not right
So happy that we're so in love

Let our relationship grow
               ~love reciprocates~
Let sensation be sensible
               ~kindness mitigates~
Let meditation be met
               ~patience celebrates~
With love that's suitable

Cultivating our love to grow
We must let communication flow
Please hold me dear
You have my ear
Talk to me I want to know

Let our relationship grow
               ~love reciprocates~
Let sensation be sensible
               ~kindness mitigates~
Let meditation be met
               ~patience celebrates~
With love that's beautiful

A three-fold cord won't easily fray
I thank God for us every day
Through thick and thin
You're my best friend
Blessed that we feel this way

Let our relationship grow
               ~love reciprocates~
Let sensation be sensible
               ~kindness mitigates~
Let meditation be met
               ~patience celebrates~
With love that's suitable

With love that's beautiful
With love immutable