I try to tell you

in the most subtle of ways

of how I struggle,

my dear beloved,

of why I am pained,

of where that I go when my mind has gone,

of what I want from you,

in these subtle ways

that doesn't compromise

with my own dignity.

That doesn't also expliot

my very dependency

on what I need,

of what I beg of you.

You have pleaded to me

a time before,

to tell you,

to show you.

But, I have tried to tell you,

my love,

in the most subtle of ways

Yet,

you do not hear me.

You will not hear me,

will not see me,

in a way-

Oh my dear love!-

that would also

spare me my dignity.

You arms were wide open for me
Stretched like the horizon before me

Now I can't even spot where I fit in
Seems like you're holding so much
That im now outside looking in

a week
turns into a month
into a year
and it's like i never knew you

though that's on me, i suppose?
when never do i receive
a message
a call, a text, letters

this is so very clearly
a one-sided engagement
so why should i waste my time
when you offer nothing but enragement

i realize now
it had always been this way
only older, for it, i have less patience

Shock to overjoyed
From overjoyed to confusion
Comms enabled
Yet scarcely a word to be said
Across the waves of rolling static

Come in, Alpha
Do you read me,
Alpha?

A word perhaps
A few in a day
No sign of interference
So what is the cause
Of this near stale air?

This is Juliet,
Do you read me,
Alpha?
Can you hear me,
Alpha?

Nothing more than dull static
A well worn lullaby
Playing over and over
Wishing it would stop
Be replaced by content voices
But not all is as dreams tell
Something is amiss

Will you hear me,
Alpha?

- Jay M
January 11th, 2021

If you are a man, but
we share no blood between us,
if you are a man, but
are no mentor of mine,
do not tell me how I've made you proud, for
I consider that to be out of line.

I knew when your hand brushed my collar,

removing a thread,

and removing all doubt

there was silence after she finished,
she thought he would say something,
expecting that, but she was
unprepared for silence, not now

she waited, just as she had
a thousand times before,
waited for a response, some
recognition of the moment

she closed her eyes and
she waited in the dark,
hoping his words would
call them open

the only sound came from
the noontime chatter of
the cafe, then a waiter
dropped a plate

startled, her eyes flew open,
and when she looked across
the table, his were now closed,
shut tightly, distorting his face

all she could think to do was to
slide her hand gently over his,
a tactile farewell, before she rose
and abandoned the thought of them