my heart soars in the clouds
but i fear it is icarus
and it’s beating will cease
before it melts and falls to the ground

for it only soared because of her
and any flight my heart had before
ended in a crash

never before has my heart hit the clouds
maybe the tops of trees
but any fall leaves marks

and a fall for her
would end in death

maybe i like poetry
because i can't commit to things for long

your smile is sweet but i'm trying to find cracks
these kisses taste like honey, but i'm thinking about going vegan

you talk about the future and my tears taste like salt
so you hold me tight to keep them in

but you don't say everything will be okay

I am passion, fire and willpower personified. The tongue inside my mouth try to swallow words that don’t agree with my brain. It fails.

They are calmness, earth, and control personified. Able to trust their brain and heart, they know when to take shelter. When the fire gets too hot.

They thought they had me figured out. That they were my opposite and the perfect element to balance me out without smothering me like water or adding fuel like air.

I always found a way to escape

I fear living for someone
centring someone in my universe
I fear not not wanting to be alone
constant noise in my silence
I fear wasting my time on someone
putting my life on hold for them to leave
I fear a lifetime of small talk
being a product of their routines and races
I fear not finding belonging
not being in control
I fear the prison of my mind
never finding the person I don't fear with
I fear not being special in the insignificance
never being not afraid to be vulnerable
I fear only existing

look
the thing is
i'm not a sociopath
i don't hate you
i'm not angry

no
i'm not a lesbian
or asexual
or something

i just

can't commit

my parents never taught me
what a healthy relationship
should look like
because they don't know

and so i've only ever been
wronged

and i need you to understand
that i like you
i think you're cute
and the way your hair
perfectly
complements your face
is beautiful

and oh my goodness
your laugh is
like
a tune
i could play for hours
and not get annoyed
or tired

but i know
that because i'm hurt

i might hurt you
by not
loving you
the way i should
and not
committing
to you
like you deserve

You're the smartest person I know
Also the dumbest, because you keep making stupid decisions and take stupid actions
The biggest one being falling in love with me
This inevitably makes you not only dumb, but an idiot
Since I'm a selfish person, I can't help but take advantage
So with every passionate kiss we share, I'll take a little more of your soul till one day you'll end up a dried out shell on some unknown beach.
Simply because I wanted a little more than you should ever give.
You're also an idiot for not realizing what you do to me.
What having your love does to me. I’m obsessed and I’m no longer functioning properly because all I want to do is be with you.
Want to feel your caress on my hands, your timid kisses. I want everything
So I’ll give you my all. Give you all of me.
Afraid of one day leaving you for a new adventure, leaving you only with false hope
As soon as the wind blows and the leaves turn I- I got to go
You made me realize: All I do is leave people
Beautiful, sweet people that don’t deserve to be left
And I never want to leave you, but I’m not sure if I can help it.
It’s not like a fairytale where you as the knight comes and rescues the damsel in distress.
I’m neither a distressed damsel nor a fair lady who needs to be saved and crowned princess, and will never be.
I destroyed my tower and ran away all on my own.
When you  found me in the forest of the ****** I needed love, and I needed hope.
You gave that to me.
I hope I can return it.

On one hand,
You're seeping in
To the most delicate
And untouched parts of my soul,

On the other,
My organs inside
Are like dry rough bark
Anyone who comes near
Is sent away with scratches on their heart,

I want to feel my whole insides become wet,
capable of unconditional love,
But I fear myself.

Many men have tried
to roll like sweet honey into my heart

Once my drunkeness has worn off
Or the initial thrill has dimmed
I scrape them off like a bug from my shoe.

When you look at me it is different,
When you look,
I can feel you seeing inside my soul in a way I can't hide,
Still I try.

I have no abandonment issues,
Or low self esteem,

I am just truly and simply a bird
When I see a cage
I become concerned.

i let
my lips
get chapped on purpose
so i wont
be tempted
to kiss you
on our date tonight

i let my hands get dry and cracked
so i will have no problem in keeping them folded on my lap

i took some heavy blows to the knees
so if i dont want to walk very far with you there will be no rational reason to be angry at me

and i would show and tell you all of these things to drive you away

but i know that you dont care
youre the first boy thats ever been in love with my mind
(beautiful, right?)
and im not scared to the point that i would be willing to self-destruct
(i am a little bit more logical than that, i value my thoughts more than that
they're the only thing i have power over, anyway)

youre the first one that has ever encouraged me to do what i love
(and maybe i love you for that)