Louise Ruen Nov 7
Long, weary drops of water are falling outside
Through the bird droppings on my window I notice how the almost almost dead and done grass is leaning slightly to the right.
I shouldn't have time to notice this.
I should be running out the door
But I'm lacking something to run towards
So I'm sitting at the kitchen table, holding a overglamorized clay ***
Trying to fight of all the blue and the grey in the world
I close my eyes and observe my the darkness under my eyelids
The pleasure is greater when all the other senses are shut down
Only then does your full and round Earl Gray flavour truly come to life
Creating a frozen timeslot
To explore the universe under my batting eyelashes
You stand out like the North star tempting me to come along
Even if your moral compass point South instead of North
Surrounded by the constellations of my past,
A moment of seperation from the outside world
That slowly slips away, while you slip down my throat, down to my heart
Making sure a little bit of heat reached it today again.
While tearing me back to reality
Despite all the best things
The kitchen watch starring at me threathingly
Now I actually do have to run out the door
(my goal can always be to find a goal)
that let's the bitter cold inside
whose hinges squirm
While you just stand there like an autumn leaf on my kitchen table.
Louise Ruen Apr 8
I don’t want to be you anymore.
You’re a cheap version of every Instagram trend,
and you possess more duplicity than the rest of humankind,
when you slide chameleon style through a crowd of people,
professing your love to them, while your stare hits the ground.
making it clear for the rest of us
why you’re deserted
when you talk about obscure things, knowing nobody will follow you,
disarming people from questioning your intelligens,
just so you can feel a little better than them

But it’s okay,
because you’re a hallucination of every guy’s fantasy.
A true dream catch,
who knows how to use her catch-all affect

Making you exceptional.
Your self-control is infallible.
You would never burst into tears, without a proper reason, like I do.
And your body, your face, everything is so beautiful,
In a degree that makes me desire you.
So I coat myself in your charm,
when my feet stop feeling warm

And I can’t look at myself in the mirror, after your visit.
Because I know that you would never
leave this skin undone like I do,
would never
fail these walls like I do

Yeah, it’s a shame,
that your polished plastic perfect smile
don’t cover your crooked teeth
Yeah it’s a shame,
that you can spot me through the ***** between your front teeth
if the light hits just right.
And even though my Instagram photos won’t admit it,
my expectations are always more exciting than the occasion itself
And my confidence is a glass tray behind  behind dark red tiles.
But you,
you don't have those problems.

Yeah, it’s a shame,
that I can’t love me as I love you
Not gonna lie...Originally this poem was 100% inspired by Billie Eilish's song "idontwannabeyouanymmore".
Louise Ruen Feb 28
Who would that thought that we would turn out this way
When you cracked open a beer, which I turned down knowing I had to drive away

And who would have thought
That I would have something to tell you,
I just don't want to ruin our night
Maybe I should just keep my lips sealed for a little longer
As long as yours are locking up mine
We should both be fine.

Meanwhile, outside the night goes ballistic
The shade is covering up your room
We're just as tangled as your hair,
My feelings following along
curling into a hundred different directions
And it's crazy how not being able to look into your eyes,
Everything all of a sudden becomes so easy

And who would have thought
That butterflies would startle me, as soon as yours disappeared
Or that I would finally hate how Gordon's make me feel like I'm drunk on love instead of alcohol.
And who would have thought
That a martini wasn't the only thing, you would stir up.

I never thought it possible to lose something you never had
So now the aftertaste of lemons is lingering in my mouth
And every time I see you
I've visually replaced her face with mine
And every time I see you
I try to fake a smile.
Been kind of MIA on here for a while (which should be good since poetry is my therapy and not writing means I'm genuinely happy).
So I'm trying to learn to write about all the good **** that happens, since the time between the events that inspire angsty **** like this becomes farer.
Louise Ruen Dec 2017
I’m a renaissance woman.
Not in the sense that I’ll birth your children, and keep a perfect clean house
I am a Muse.
I rebirthed and reclaimed my mind and body
Away from the Dark Age of adolescence
So, I can finally feel present in my own skin

I’m a renaissance man in a woman’s body
Not in the sense that I feel trapped in the wrong time, place or body
But that I've become skilled in many fields
I will never stop trying to better myself
I have designed and engineered a par of perfect wings.

I guess you’ve never seen an angel in disguise
But unlike Icarus, my wings can hold me,
So, ******* Leonardo, I’m a better renaissance woman than you were a renaissance man
Louise Ruen Sep 2017
You are a devil who looks like a human but talks like an angel
I’m a pretty blue-eyed girl for which you are the living proof
You swept me off my feet
But I deserve a guy who encourages me to stand
A guy who will let me lean, instead of knocking me down, telling me it’s an act of love
I did not know love could be other than face value
So, when I got your check, I was surprised it came with ownership
Now I just feel sorry for you
Your mind will always be squarer than your jaw
Your soul darker than your eyelashes
Your resentment will always seep through your bones and manifest as hair on your skin
You can try and shave it down
But it will keep coming back – dark and seemingly multiplying
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