You made me feel stuck
You made me feel gross
You made me feel unwanted
You made me feel like an inconvenience
You made me feel ugly
You made me feel like a waste
You made me feel discarded
You made me feel like a mistake
You made feel powerless
You made me feel worthless
You made me feel inhuman
You made me feel like a ruined day

A ruined day that lasts forever...
And there is no running from it
There is no hiding from it
There's just me, unmoving
Unable to be whatever you wanted
When I never really had a chance

You made me feel like gum
On the bottom of your shoe

I did not deserve to feel that way

©pennamebreez

She was a girl
full of dreams,
affectionate, adoring,
easy to please,
a full life ahead,
so it seems....

Living and laughing, dancing a dream,
loving life, to its means.
sixteen and beautiful
full of passion and grace,
she hungered for the day
she could take her place.

Hopes and dreams
of a full life ahead,
she saw it coming
she never had any dread.

Living and laughing, dancing a dream
loving life, to its means.
daytime turned to darkness
joy to grief,
laughter to tears
with no passion or grace.

Beaten and wounded
youth taken away,
she longed for the day
she could escape this place.

Protecting the ones she loved
from the outcome of her fate,
she pushed it deep down inside
and hide it at any rate.

Day’s turned to weeks
weeks turned to years,
she kept smiling and living
but joy was replaced with fear.

Longing for the one
who would hold her tight,
turning her darkness
back into light.

Living and laughing, dancing a dream
Loving life to its means…
~
Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~
Stormy Angel/DMA
Registered: 2015-04-20 07:08:23 UTC

April is ****** Assault Awareness Month along with National Child Abuse Prevention Month the two go hand in hand. Any form of Child Abuse happens from infant age to adult age and at times carry’s beyond. If you see or feel a child is being abused in any form of any way call this National Number To Report It…
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) or visit the web site at, Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline… http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home   Crisis Counselors Available 24/7.

I haven't wrote in 2 years other than the other day, it felt good to write something again. April is National Child Abuse Awareness Month. I have always helped to spread all abuse awareness in April and I'm going to do it this April also.
We are creative writers, we know words hold power, so I'm hoping to see more of my fellow writers spread abuse awareness this month. If you do send me a message and I will share them. It's really important to spread abuse awareness but this year, it's even more important. Because of the  pandemic more people have been cooped up with their abusers so unfortunately abuse has become worse. The spreading of  awareness helps give victims hope and helps give people strength to not look the other way, to pick up that phone and make that call xover and over again if they have to. Please help out by even posting one poem on awareness that I will help highlight.

He treats me like a Queen,
Still I can’t help but wonder if he will be like you too
Funny how I am afraid of what he might become yet the most comforting place I’ve ever been is his arms.
I look to him for protection yet I fear him and what he might do,
He’s never given me a reason to doubt him but most of the men from my past life haunt my thoughts, spreading lies like wildfire
I run to him, almost as if being attracted by a magnet, it’s out of my control
I cringe whenever he takes his belt off,
I know he would never hit me yet the memory of leather striking my skin like a whip,
My mother’s hands pounding on the door and her dread-filled screams,
lingers in the back of my mind like a nightmare I cannot escape from
Now that I am older it’s easier to understand she knew what he was capable of,
She had been in my position before,
She never told me as a child because I had this glorified image of him,
He was the first man that seemed like he wanted to take care of us and love us,
I viewed him as a father and even called him Dad
He had just loved his alcohol and cigars more than his love for us
I sometimes start to think about what our future children will look like,
But I stop in my tracks because that evil voice in my head asks “what if he turns out like him”?
Will it always be like this, I fear

Bullies are big and tall,
Bullies hang you off the school wall.
Bullies chew you up and spit you out,
Bullies do it all for nonexistent clout.
Bullies are chocked full of hate,
Bullies are usually a classmate.
But my bullies aren’t at school,
My bullies are at home, where they rule.

I march through a thunderstorm
the same way I marched before
to face my enemy, the devil.

The wind is heavy and violent
trying to knock me off my feet
like a bully I dealt with in school.
But I stand my ground
And keep marching forward
as I have against them.

The sky is full of dark clouds
much like OCD, depression, and PTSD
looming over my head.
But I know the sky will change color;
a beautiful one.

I pass by people running
For their homes to take shelter
and wait for the heavens to have mercy
so they can roam outside.
All my life,
I’ve been running away from my problems
hiding from my enemies.
I have business to take care of
in this storm
and I will get it done
whether the light breaks the fallen sky
or not.
I wait for nothing and no one
And I will fight anything or anyone
that stands in my way.

I’m a stormbreaker.

Thunder strikes
Cowards quake at its roar
The sound reminds me
the clap of the whip
made across my back
as a kid growing up.
But thunder tells me
To be strong and mighty as Thor’s hammer.

I’m offered an umbrella,
but I’m not part of that academy.
I was always shielded from the world
I never took a risk.
I want to live. Freely.
I let the crash of rain
pour on my body like a shower
cleansing me of the filth
I’ve sustained from today.
Drenched from head to toe.

When my business is done
and this storm clears,
I finally rest
and watch the sun rise
on a grateful universe.
I’m aware there will be another storm
worse than the last.

People are fools
believing there’s gonna be sunshine and clear skies for the rest of the week
like the rest of their lives.
They don’t know struggle or pain.
It’s a storm approaching.

And while they will hide,
cover and fear for themselves
I’ll be ready to march again.
Because this ain’t my first rodeo.
I won’t let a storm break me.

I’m a stormbreaker

Regret,
           One word,
Timeless damage condensed to
           Six letters.
That are scented like cheap, Dollar store, perfume
           Titled “Heavenly”.
The stench that you burned into my nostrils,choking me,
            Suffocating me.
A word whose name taste like poison on my battered tongue,
             Bitterly sweetless,
Just like the ***** pouring like fountains from your fingertips,
             Sugar-laced manipulation.
It’s adorned with purple, the colour of the rich,
            Of royalty,
Yet, worn by a wayward, penniless, and perverted sinner,
             Guiltless, guilty.
It’s a word that purrs, “You’re so mature” as its filthy palms grasp my flesh,
             Robbing me.
Robbing me straight from the cradle I slept so ignorantly,
             So soundly.
Stripping me naked as I was born, yet wasn’t I just yesterday?
              Too young.
Far too young to carry the weight of your skin,
               Your sins,
                                           My regret.