How many times do I have to be naked to someone else's life?
How many times will my story be told in places I was not aware?
How many times will my name be mentioned to people who barely knew my side of the story?
It felt like a dagger stabbed through the very depths of my soul despite  not being healed from wounds acquired from the same circumstance.
I have shut my mouth, closed the doors and told no one about any story, yet somehow, I still ended up being the bad guy.
I am hurt, the kind of hurt that would dare to k*(ill) someone
The enraged
The angered
The one who's body left no mercy.
However, I still have to understand.
That despite mental and physical abuse I have acquired, I must remain silent, unbothered, and untouchable. I must remain calm and understanding.
I must enlarged my heart and try to grasp their side of the story while shutting down mine.
So tell me how do I silence every fiber of my being that wants to fight back?
That wants to tell an experience far worse than what has been told?
Tell me, how do I not fight back?
Because the very person who told me they love me and respect me most out of any person they've met was the one who holds out the gun and pulled the trigger and left me bleeding eternally.

Your birthday is probably one of those I can't seem to forget. Aside from it is my father's birthday you have made it a little bearable for me to remember it by.

I couldn't forget the smile off your face when I visited you two days early of you birthday and got you a present. That little appreciation from you went a long way, I thought it was natural for me to do that. But the fact that you made it like it was such a big deal made my heart flutter a little bit more.

So here I am left with good memories you have. I guess I'll never forget someone like you. So I have you in every prayer I make, to keep you safe, to keep you happy, and to keep you at peace. You are the epitome of all things good. Sure you have your own mishaps and poor judgment but I have known you as a good person and you'll always have a good report in me.

And for the times you have to endure me more than you should enjoy with me, I ask for forgiveness. For the times I have been a pain to your heart, a cry before you sleep, and a prayer of your hurt, I profusely apologize. I couldn't undo them but I hope that you remained a good person despite that.

You are a one in a million kind of guy, I pray that whoever finds you, treasures you and give you the utmost care. I hope you all the best thing in life. God bless and see you when I see you.


from,
before.

I thought I was done,
I thought words will bleed no more.
Yet, here I am, looking at nothing
thinking and writing about you.
Will this anguish and longing ever end?

she used to breathe poetry
out of sadness, out of heartache,
out of everything that hurts.
but now she speaks words
that give light and life,
words that encourage,
words that fills someone's
soul with gladness.
she is you.