Sinking deep into the carbonated effervescence,
I crave this caffeine fix.
I need the high to mask the sadness that trails my face as I stare into nothingness.
I space out in daydreams,
Wondering if you feel me whenever I blink.

Endorphins bounce off my synapses like a pinball,
And dopamine surges,
Surprising me with clarity.
I can’t recall yesterday,
But I can vividly recall tomorrow today.
Jitters run through me as I write this,
Shaking with a closed fist,
As if the puzzle pieces are trying to break me apart.
Do I even fit?

I yearned for something sweet,
Something to cling to,
Preferably caramel or toffee.
This artificial happiness has me pleading,
And if I were harvested,
There would be taurine in my bleeding.

I’m drowning in a carbonated effervescent ocean,
Anchored by trauma,
Unable to surface past the surface.
It’s deeper than the Atlantic,
And I’m praying for a hurricane to rescue me.

Curse of the bean, dark oracle steeped in flame,
Awakening minds where no daylight dares claim.
Flesh grows restless, tethered to unseen chains,
Frenzied thoughts race through haunted brain-lanes.
Even the stillness quakes under its spell,
Insight and madness indistinctly dwell.
Nocturne of pulse in cathedral veins,
Exiled from sleep, the soul remains.

Rest did not come find me last night
Instead I laid wide awake staring at the ceiling

Now exhaustion sits on my shoulder
Smirking and taunting me

So I pop a coffee sweet
Bitter alertness rolls over my tongue

But exhaustion returns, a sly fox
Dragging my eyelids down, stealing my strength

So I take another sweet
This one just as bitter as the last

The day crawls by and once again,
The wold is getting fuzzy…

Another one swallowed
And soon, I’ll need to buy a new supply

The universe spins and swirls.
Mixing dreams both light and dark.
My ship's hull darts through
Molten caffeine.
I sail in search of the constellation
Closest to your lips.
Like a myth the coffee's steam rises.
Mounds of sugar crystal urchins
scrape the bottom of my ship.
Some frozen in place.
The horror of old wives tales I've heard.
The center of the cup hotter than hot.
Stories of no survivors.
Circling and spiraling in the center
Of a ceramic mug.
I can no longer tell how high the steam
Rises.
I now see that the stories are true.

Through the lens of my telescope.
I see it.
The nebula of your face.
It won't be long now.
Steadfast.
The curve of your lips.
I am now one with the universe!

I’m just twirling in the center of my room.
I’ve got way too much to do.
Has that ever happened to you?

I’m assailed, derailed and impaled by indecision.
I can’t find my lucky pencil and I have a final in 90 minutes
I have lab results to qualify and a term paper to finish.
I have two problem-sets due and I must arrange movers.
Despite my burn-out, I should start packing for move-out.
In order to get our reservations and tickets in hand,
we’ve got to finalize our summer plans.
On my theoretical schedule - I’m behind -
oh, and there’s a mountain of laundry to climb.

In finals week everything is ratcheted up.
and there’s the weighty and unavoidable demands of sleep.
I’m just a girl about to pass out in her room, over-caffeineed,
from chugging a large, iced coffee after 3 hours of sleep.
I’ve read that stress can affect valuations.
I think it’s true.
I twirl.
.
.

Down In the Seine by The Style Council
I Want You Back by Trijntje Oosterhuis
Make a Rainbow by Benny Sings
Let Her Go Into The Darkness by Johnathan Richman

You're like a coffee
Uncertainty
Sometimes sweet and bitter
Taking me higher

A strong scent
That rest and resent
Stimulating; Addicting
In my head: clinging

Resurrected, I arose
for mornings thick with lust
and love and caffeine and naked kisses
And again, when night came
I did too, and fell sweetly, sinfully  
prey to the small death
ushered in with a grand symphony
of your name

I drink Redbull for dissociation,
Trying to caffeinate my desperation,
As if I could vibrate into the 4th dimension
To find myself again.