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Sky was gray as witches' old,  
No quarter given, none taken by the cold.  
Summer's song chased by gentle north breeze,  
Replaced by stark, hard, white freeze.

Running tights bought several sizes too small,
Confident they will fit come winter's call.
Between **** shorts that hid wet, hot summer cheeks,
Feeling lucky, I might give you a peek.

Soft, tight black lycra slips over curves hard as stone,
Gaze at the mirror, this body, my own.
Thin, tight fabric chases away your fantasy,
Body sculpted by air, sun, and sweat, no artificial symmetry.
Chiseled by hundreds of miles running and swimming, gallons of sweat,
Tummy hard, pancake flat, no regrets.

In the mirror, my hard body I see,
Feel your envy, your resentment, fuel for me.
Rocket fuel to propel me out this morn,
Cold biting air, but I won't be torn.

Used to hate you, now energy's mine,
Run and swim longer, leave you in the grime.
Through your cars, your scowls, I see,
Just chafing sports bras, nothing to me.

Open the door, cold air slaps my face,
Air ****** from lungs, blood rushes to the pace.
Feel alive, your malice pushes me on,
Cold air invades every orifice, and I am gone.
I slap my cold, tight, little, *** and whisper –  you can't touch this.
louella Nov 23
by nightfall, i am just a creature.
of habit one could say or
of countless wild misgivings.
a creature with her hands clutched at her stomach
that moves up and down
when the breath begins—
she is human
much to her dismay.
she claws at the human form she was
blessed—no, cursed—with.
the pale moon stares with fluttering open eyes.
i wish i could just hide
in the bushes and wait for
some other creature
to lessen the ache
that prances in my bones
like leaping frogs that never tire.
much to my dismay,
there are many nightfalls where
others do not question their positions,
do not wonder why or
pine for
another
body, a warmer climate to indulge themselves in.
i am but a creature
whose body is battered and sick,
where illness spreads throughout.
i regurgitate any satisfaction
that lingers
a bit too long for comfort.
this mouth shuts slowly
but opens again
and all the creatures of habit slip out again
from its opening

and the rest flood from the stomach walls
and i am not human anymore—
rather something purging itself of the danger
of its own grip
from the inside
out.
i have so many issues with body image and i was inspired by poetry i found on pinterest

written yesterday
published: 11/23/24
Aurora Oct 18
****** folds of paper,
Bind with a sewing needle,
And of course, it needed a cover page-
A drawing in crayon,
Because the little child in me found joy in drawing with crayons.
Most of the pages were little glimpses of life.
As the pages passed, drawings appeared-
Drawings of what I thought I looked like,
-A strange way to capture self-hate,
Some pages carried words that would-
Make you feel like they were pressing down on your chest,
And you couldn’t really breathe.
-Suffocating
If I read them out loud, I would burst.
Some pages had tissues speckled with blood-
Like little red polka dots.
They were words I couldn’t express on paper.
I put them in a little box,
The world will never see it.
It wasn’t meant to be published.
This poem is inspired by my childhood diary. It’s made me upset about how much I was holding on to at that age.
Jade Sep 15
"Wear black, it'll make you look thinner."
And she did. So often, in fact,
the simple act of getting dressed
in the morning began to feel like
she was attending her own funeral.
Eleanora Sep 4
This poison you feed me
This head wound
Inflicting and compounding;
You will never understand

You size me up
In funhouse mirrors,
Tape measures all stretched out
Because you hate me
And so I cry

I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
I’m sorry I’m so big
I want to be small
Teach me to be small
Or, instead,
Teach me not to have a face
So you do not see me anymore
Please

The sweetness of a dehydrated body,
Tired, weak, blameless,
Addicted
Downing only buckets of saccharine hatred
It smells like cancer and bubblegum,
And that’s just as well

It tastes like
Blood
Malvika Jul 9
bask in the divinity of your feminine energy
It cradles you like the light of the moon
Retreat into your soft flesh
feel how it bounces back as you trace gently every curve
How could you have such disgust for
The vessel of your greatness?
Katie May 6
i'm eighty pounds down and my skin is loose.  shales of empty casing hanging from my pelvis, upper arms.  

what will i do with it now?  

it is still excess, still too much, still my same old problem.  

hangs, folorn, from my frame, not sure how to be.



that summer i shop in stores that have never been mine to walk in to.  

it is entering a portal to a world i've only ever circumnavigated,

skimming round flesh-toned mannequins posed for the beach, the city.

wondering if pretty prints and flattering cuts can exist beyond a size 8.


bikinis on the rail threaten the illusion that i am slim and toned.  

their gaping homages to the idea that showing a little,
just a little
flesh, is the sexiest way a woman can exist, bring about a conundrum.

they will see.

they will see that i am still not it.
The mirror mocks my every move
Every lump I try to smooth
The mirror cons me of my happiness
Knot in my throat, stuck like this

Dysmorphia

I feel the corners of my mouth
Like they're tied to the ground
I try to fix it, try to heal
I try to replace it, the shame I feel

Dysmorphia

Feeling visceral
Indescribable
If only I could find
Something comparable

Dysmorphia
louella May 2022
the mirror plays favorites
she twiddles the beauty queen’s golden hair
she puckers up so lipstick can be placed on her full lips
her hair the perfect length to play with
not dry, but smooth and so healthy

she picks the prom queen’s silky dress with dignity
it’s perfect for her malnourished body
it lays and sits so beautifully
the mirror sees her and appreciates the craft she created
grins, and puts silver and gold expensive earrings on her ears

but when i approach,
she turns her face in disgust
throws an outfit at me; ripped jeans and a tacky t-shirt
she says i’m too fat and that i should keep my legs far apart so people don’t notice how weird i look
she grimaces at me and i walk away bashfully
‘never letting her look at me again’
i say
but
i always come back for her critical opinion
and i accept it
that’s exactly what i am
not beautiful, a fat failure
she’s evil, don’t let her look at you
maybe next time she’ll turn you into stone
who knows?

5/22/22
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