I can see it in the way
she watches me;
she hates me.

I've tried and tried
from birth
to be what she wants.

I've been sick too many times
each time not
physical
never taken to heart

I promise I didn't will
my brain to be this way
I promise I'm trying
I promise I'm not pretending

Please believe me

They've tried to
force open the gates
of her heart
But it's no use
Everybody has a key except me.

Please let me in mom
Please give me the key
I promise to try harder this time

you make your twists and turns,
indecisive which route to take.

i pound the windshields,
hands in fists, thumming.

you hiss a profane,
steering a sharp turn.

i choke down a gag,
eye bulging,
tears a stream.

you peer my way,
hot breath hitting my skin,
droplets of spit splashing onto me.

i turn away reaching for the door,
the poison violating my skin,
acidity burning me alive.

you don't let me go,
digging your nails into my epidermis,
it goes deeper, popping a vein.

i scream with all my might,
blood begins to pour.

you yank me back in place,
prohibiting my escape.

i stay silent,
adrenaline pumping,
heart thumping,
brain throbbing.

you release me,
scowl neatly placed on your face,
dark brows furrowed, narrowly.

i take the chance,
slamming my feet on the dirt,
breath heaving,
i run, run, run.

you shout yet another insult,
dare i not say,
for freedom, i come.

My breast,
Has a scar,
and I don't know the real lie I've told to so many,
To be Honest,
with myself,
I barely want to know more then the lies I've told
on how I've gotten it,
but I learned that,
boys will hurt you,
and sometimes those things will never leave,
and that they may be,
the only mark you see,
different from the ones on my arms,
and there comes a time in your life,
where you're not scared,
but then you're scared of everything,
you just have to hope for a better tomorrow,
because everything stay with you,
physically,
and mentally,