curated
left myself hanging on the gallery of promises.
eyes and arms outstretched,
ache and need
follow you around the room.
do a double take,
take my few remaining moments
while you ponder
if you could have done something similar, leaving loss under floodlights
to tell a feeling, to rot under public protection.

O, say it ain’t so,
I’ll go deaf in Heaven?
I’ll go blind in Heaven?

Then what is Hell?
Pragmatic fears fueled by pessimism,
Though I see through the ruse,
The Trap of it all.

I pick Heaven,
With great sounds an sights.

The ultimate Sin,
That lies within,
Is but a test.

I’ll gladly gleam,
Between the seams,
Skip two, do not collect 200,
Gladly.

Sights and sounds,
Lead me through nights and Bounds,
In delight, fleeting on the ground.

Knows the secret of the universe
but doesn't know the heart
it doesn't tally up!

Hop onto the spacecraft
fly off to the star
technically that can be done
mathematically can be numbered.

But that deep dive deep down
the sea of the soul
only an interpreter of the heart can play this role.
What AI can mimic that or an art can choreograph
or a computer can emulate this part?

the curtain’s wearing down
the wood is getting squeaky
i forgot my line
“line?”
the mask is falling off
the paint is chipping
the backdrop's missing
i forgot my line
“line?”
nothing looks the same
it’s felt off for a while
make up running
crew is gone
i’m alone
one man show
“line!”
i forgot my line
full house
crowd is here
show must go on
one man show
i forgot my line
they’re watching
they’re waiting
waiting to laugh
waiting to smile
where is my smile
what was my line
one man show
all alone
show must go on
so weak
so bleak
try to speak
“line?”
eyes close
head falls
deep breath
shoulders drop
i can’t pretend today
“And scene.”

"Twenty years before current time, the Spear Sect, known for only taking one student had its Sect Head accused of practicing Demonic Martial Arts by the leaders of the Murim Orthodox Union and was given the judgment of death."

I.

"A team of horses will struggle to chase down a spoken word. From the Analects of Confucius"

And when they died, their life ebbed away.
The maws of dogma forcing their daggers
To blot out the truth with the blood of the lost.
The orthodox sect's swords painting an old wall
With thin veneer of paint, haphazardly done.

In an unmarked grave lies the spear sect.
Where two died, another lived on.

II.

"An old warhorse in the stable still longs to gallop a thousand li. From the Analects of Confucius."

And they pierced his ribs,
his flesh threshed by deceit and
The facade of the pharisees
forcing him down. In the dark caves
he was placed with the heavy stone.

The shroud is a white sheet
Covering his scarred body.

His life lived on with the sinful:
the tax collectors and the courtesans;
the uncouth and uneducated,
the murderers and drunkards,
the gentiles of the other sects.

Though he lived not as others did.

From one spear he died,
with another he lived,
Leading them with the sacred fire.
Fishing for followers
among the many hungry.

December 2021

I caught you feeling... you stupid...
How dare you feel and where's your brain?

I caught you working... you stupid...
Working all day hard with a level of thinking aligned
Properly!

I caught you learning,  caring, helping around,
Trying to make life sweeter...
Helping a wound fade away
And the memory of that awful day become bearable.
Are you that... stupid, stupid! Why don't you keep it all to yourself?

I caught you having some ideals...!
High and of the brave Angels adored!
You stupid, stupid Child!
How dare you even dream?
How dare you believe and hope and scream and shout out your pain!
How dare you stay!
***!?
How dare you fight!
How dare you be what you are
You are not... Stupid... Stupid...
The heart that ruined all that!

How dare you be strong?
You did it all at some level but wanted much more!
How dare you be only a human?
How dare you be much more?
You got all tired of this... Stupid... Stupid...
And walked away.
How dare you be that strong?
How dare I admire you?
Stupid... Stupid...
Heart and Soul taken to a ride by the Mind!
How dare you walk away?
Stupid thing... no! Lie!
Image on a surface
To remind us all
When stupid,
When arrogant
And why.

I caught you enjoying life. Well that's stupid!
Again, you will get hurt, you stupid stupid thing.

I caught you thinking... are you that stupid...?
When will you learn to act? React.
Do something!

You stupid...
Why don't you angel for us and fly?
Show those wings that can carry the world to a better...

'You stupid? Why don' t you Angel inside?
Without feelings, without thinking, without?... Only a cold machine, smart!

Ah, I can finally breathe in and out!

You Keep me blinder and blinder with your love,
With your light,
Making me feel that I worth something in this world,
For the world we work'nd fight until we realise the world doesn't give a **** about what we do,

Blinder and blinder about what you really do,
For me, for our future,
For your Kind...
Yes, my heart used to be true...
We fought together and alone for the world
But
The world doesn't give a **** about what we did or wanted to do.

The world doesn't give a **** about what you need, about what we did or didn't do...
To think that we all fought
(together and alone)
And for what?

arts great salivation
       teats nightly
acts the thistle
       at this little establishment

   collude here :

* fierce nourishment
* jester
* rumpus of competition
* ...much goad
  in a fester of seemly company