i guess all those nights i spent studying
just weren't worth it.

and the hot flashes of nausea that kept me from sleeping
were just warning me of my incapacity.

and my cuticle-less fingers that dripped blood on the exam paper
must not have been wanted it enough.

and my stupid brain was foolish enough to believe that
i'd "done my best"
(was it? was that all i could have done? ever?)

god what was the point of it.
god it's not even that big of a deal.
god you're just stupid and you're inefficient.
god maybe you should have just done better
god you just can't get it can you
god if this is hard, imagine college
god stop! stop hitting your wrist against the table, it's not helping!
god google it, can you lose your academic gift?
god imagine their faces when they see your score
god how will you hide it now
god help me i can't go back don't make me go back please please
god wow you really thought you did well you thought you earned it
god what if you didn't care about it, then it wouldn't matter
god imagine that, you don't study, and all the expectations are gone
god imagine that, you don't try.

you don't try.

oh.

maybe i shouldnt try anymore maybe i shouldnt try anymore maybe i shouldnt try anymore maybe i shouldnt try anymore maybe i shouldnt try anymore i shouldnt try anymore i shouldnt try anymore i shouldnt try anymore i shouldn't try i shouldn't try i shouldn't try i shoudn't try i shouldn't try i shouldn't try i shouldnt try i shouldnt i shouldnt i shouldnt i shouldnt

I stand with you, Dear Comrade
Because, always do you stand
With the oppressed
With the marginalised
With the hated
With the silenced
And finally
With the ignored!

I stand with you, Dear Comrade
Because, every time do you take the lead
When it comes to fighting against injustice
Calling out media bias
Exposing the hypocrisy of the liberals
Highlighting gender and caste issues
Blasting the central government left, right and centre
And last but not the least
Making us all feel your righteous anger!!

I stand with you, Dear Comrade
For you, does my heart bleed
Because, are you an extremely kind soul
Who cares for humanity above all
Beneath your raging passion
I can feel your sheer compassion
You've been through hell
And yet, do you stand tall
Fighting endlessly and fearlessly for social justice
And striving your hardest for peace
Without even thinking of giving up
To you, greatly do I look up!!

I stand with you, Dear Comrade
Of you, forever will I remain proud
Whenever I have a bad day
It is you, who shows me the way
During my darkest phases
It is you, in whom I find solace
Even when I am extremely negative
You provide me the motivation to be positive
May Jesus bless your beautiful soul
And may you find your inner peace, above all!!

Whenever I experience pain
Whether it be physical or mental
I don't feel I am alone
Because your words are so powerful
That they transport me into another realm
Where I begin to feel a sense of calm
And a voice speaks
"Everything is going to be alright soon"
Slowly and steadily, the pain fades
And I begin to feel at ease again
You may not be a witch
But your poetry is so rich
And so full of passion
That it gives me motivation
To do whatever I earlier thought was impossible
Your attitude makes EVERYTHING seem possible
The way you write a novel
Sets an example for us all
Full of dry and witty humour
Not to mention, extreme candour
And at the same time, you keep the readers guessing
Hence, no book of yours can ever be called "boring"
And your activism lights a flame in us
Which is extremely difficult to extinguish
Thanks to you, am I starting to find the courage and strength
To fight my battles with mental health
And hoping to emerge stronger than ever
Dear Comrade, I will forget you never
Jai Bhim! Vaazhga Periyar!!

Whenever you enter my thoughts
A fire begins to burn fiercely in my heart
Destroying everything in its path
Except any positive thoughts
And from my mind, emerges a voice
Saying "You can do it
And you WILL do it!"
Whenever something seems amiss
I think of your struggles
And gradually, do I find myself more capable
Of achieving every task that is set before me
A Harry Houdini, you may not be
However, an inspiration are you, for sure
Because, so much do you care
About righting all the wrongs in our society
Casteism, Hindutva, Islamophobia, gender inequality
Determined are you, to fight hard for social justice
Even if you end up paying a huge price
I consider myself an extremely lucky person
To know such a lovely human being like you
Who talks not through words but actions
Though you are a very loving partner and mother
Rarely, do you showcase your affection and care
Your sheer nerve and bravery would make Godric Gryffindor proud
Your patience, dedication, loyalty and sense of justice would make Helga Hufflepuff proud
Your sharp wit and natural curiosity would make Rowena Ravenclaw proud
And finally
Your sheer ambition, determination and resourcefulness would make Salazar Slytherin proud
Always, will you be my primary motivator
Keep rocking, keep fighting and do take care
May the Almighty bless you forever!!

You are my idol
You is it, who manages to make me smile
When I am down in the dumps
You are an amazing poetess
Imagine, could your writing ****
Then die, the oppressors shall
One of the fiercest voices against injustice
Always, are you ready to make sacrifices
For the benefit of humanity
And the transformation of our extremely regressive society!

You are my idol
Always, do you manage to cast a spell
Through your mind-shattering poems
As well as edge-of-the-seat novels
An enchantment that is almost impossible to lift
Really, are you a gift
To the literary world
So much do I love, the way you play with words!!

You are my idol
Never, are you idle
Buzzing with ideas all the time
Truly, is your mind sublime
You are the light to my darkness
The fire to my icy coldness
The humour to my seriousness
The subtlety to my directness
The list is endless!!

You are my idol
I like you more than I hate Israel
You mean as much to me
As independence means to the Palestinians
It was such an honour to see you perform
Last December, at G5A Warehouse
In front of a full house
That I felt I was in a dream
It was indeed a surreal feeling
May you keep performing and inspiring
May all your dreams come true
And may Jesus bless you!!

the concept of art
is a mere combination
of common logic
and compelling academic
yet when it comes
to an abstract composition
it all falls down
to pure academic

but it does not mean
that a work’s meaning
becomes diluted with
academic discourse
but it does mean
that its meaning
is measured by
someone who sees
the moment of clarity
at the right distance
at its sufficient mindset

Giving joy, getting joy, never coy,
Often pretty, always called a toy,
She sells all that there is to deploy.

And there is she who is demure;
A teacher whose job is secure.
Some say that all teachers are pure.

And there is he who is a professor;
He is his father’s successor;
Just like his father’s predecessor.

The first one we call a *****;
She prostitutes her body more and more;
But the other ones we adore.

The professor prostitutes his knowledge.
He also sells his precious time.
And the teacher too makes the same pledge;
Especially while she is in her prime.

We all ******* something every day;
Yet only the first one’s a *******; yay!

I like to think I'm bright sometimes,
mindlessly warbling my words.
Dropping subtle reference to
the allegory of the cave,
the 101 of a white guy.

I have a confession to make.
I'm a liar, a ****** fool.
There is nothing academic
in my bones, just spit and hot air.
Perhaps once these words had meaning,
but for now it's merely static.