You were the one along side my mother’s battle to push me out.
You helped run her to the hospital five time and the doctor would continue to send you home for it was a false alarm each time she appeared to be in labor.
You demanded we stay and have this baby.
As you spoke those words,
I must’ve heard
My mom was ready like I .
You were the one that graciously cut my umbilical cord,
And you were the first person to hold me.
You were my first experience of unconditional love in this harsh world.
For seventeen years, you stood by my stubborn ***.
You carried on your shoulders anything I dished out at you, but
You still took no ****.
I know that for the rest of my life, no man will ever love me the way you did.
We helped eachothers’ worlds go round,
And since yours stopped,
Mine began spinning,
Swimming.
Bit and pieces are lost,
Scattered,
Shattered.
All made into ash and if I  were to,
Cash in all my blessing.
Would I be able to make it to you?

A place where I may cower
For many a hours
Locked away
A safe place to stay
Too steamy to see past my nose,
Making the ceiling ooze and cry with I.
As I also attempt to inhale
the thick air full of
hopeful positivity the universe has to offer
And exhale the faint recollections that make me desolate
I’ll contemplate how it must’ve been for you
When you collapsed and laid there for who knows how long
Then I feel a burning in my core
My head aches from those thoughts,
All I can think to do is to scrub my skin
But the toxins lie from within.