It was 9 pm, and the air was cool as steel.
I breathed in and out, just calming my thoughts,
But a sudden surge of thunder shook
My body like the end of the world,
It shattered my whole soul.

I breathed in and out,
Breathed in and out.
The thunder lasted for almost an hour
But when it stopped,
I just waited another day
For it to reappear
Again.

“I'm a mess”, he said, eyes so hollow
that I barely recognize him at all. “I'm the most pathetic human, aren't I?”

I wanted to say, no, you're not.
You've got the most alluring soul
that most angels would walk on earth
only to see you.

No, you're not a shack of mess,
for your heart is built of beautiful memories
and delicate love, for your smile
is worth to go war for, for your heart
is all I want to protect for.

I wanted to say—

“C'mon, don't be too sad,” I said while
elbowing his shoulder. “You're cool,
you know that?”

When he kept quiet, I continued,
“Well, she's not the only person
on earth after all.”

Hi, hello? Is that you?
Yeah, I've been looking for you—
A ten year-old girl who's got a crush
On the most beautiful boy in class,
But he's got a new girlfriend now
And you cry with your friends on
The middle of school field
Wishing it could've been you one day.

Hey, hello! Yeah it's me.
I've been looking for you too—
A nineteen-year-old woman who now
Lives by her own, being free and all,
Wbo can buy clothes and all you want
By yourself without having your mother
To worry about.

Oh, no, no. Maybe that's me,
Or maybe it's all just
In your imagination, dear.
I want to send a message—
Live and love and cry all you want,
You can repeat it again and again.
Promise me?

Why? I don't want to cry—
I don't want to feel heartbroken
By another stupid boys or another
Stupid school assignments again—

Oh, my dear.
It is much and much better,
Than having your heart cold as stone—
Unable to feel anything,
Even love.

I've been falling into
A deep black hole—
All alone and my chest
As empty as my soul.

I want to shout
But no voice comes—
As if my throat
Has been tied hard
To a rope, as if
There's no one in the world
Who pass through.

I wake and sees the white wall
It was just a dream but
Tears washing across
my damp cheeks
And dried lips 'cause—

There's no one in the room and
I am still all alone after all.

It feels like home
It feels like prison

It's a place where I grow
But it's also the place where
The shouting of my parents
Echoed throughout my room,
Where I held my brother, telling him it's going to be over soon.

It's a place where I play and sing
But it's also the place where—
My mother's new boyfriend pushed
My brother to the ground, him bleeding
And crying and shouting and begging
For forgiveness as if it were his fault,
It's the place where I shouted for my brother but all I got was a ****** smirk from the new boyfriend
And I felt a sudden disgust sending
Throughout my skin.

It's a place built of dark days that seem no end,
But now it's just a shack of woods and *****.

Your name is all I pray on dawn worship,
Wishing you all well is all I need,
Hoping you to be in peaceful state,
Praying that you will get through your obstacles.

Sometimes I dream,
Of holding your hand,
Of laughing beside you
When the sun rises,
Or seeing your smile
On your cool face.

But when I see you,
I can't help but be quiet,
Passing through without
Saying hi,
'cause you're just too cool
To be mine.