why do you keep on waiting
for someone
     who doesn't even exist?

when love erupts and ends abrupt
countless thoughts mess the mind up

while in a place with no light
it's bound to be a sleepless night

I volunteered
to be the anchor,
sink to the bottom
so you won't be
washed away
by the waves
even if it means
i'll drown.

After you and I
This heart won't open up again
Besides, who would ever want someone like me?
No one.

don't ask me of how I am doing
don't ask if I am alright
because I'll say "I'm just fine"

so please
don't ask me silly questions
i am tired of telling lies.

She never felt sad and empty,
never knew the word lonely;
As a child, she believed in fantasies
that our world is like those in the stories.

Not until she reached fourteen,
coz the world she once knew
wasn't like it had always been.

The world slowly morphed into
something she once saw in her nightmare,
she was scared, didn't know what to do
wishing there's a safe place for her somewhere.

A lost angel is what she was,
wanting to go back to her paradise,
And when she turned fifteen,
the way to her home she had seen.

In daylight’s grace, I thought I’d healed,
From wounds I swore were long concealed.
But in the night, where silence screams,
Self-doubt invades my fragile dreams.

Inferior whispers fill the air,
A dark reminder, ever there.
Though daylight claims I've moved along,
Night unveils the pain's old song.

The beasts haunted her endlessly
And was driven to the brink of insanity
All she wanted was to be free
Thus, she succumbed to the tragedy.
Dead was her body
But alive were her memories
On the rocky soil and barren land,
Her tameless spirit couldn't rest.
Perhaps, she found her home
In this rugged, desolate place
There bloomed a tiny blossom
Dancing with a gentle grace.
She had became a little wildflower
Free from the constraints of society,
Breathing the woody breeze of summer
And finally felt the gratifying tranquillity.

Those times
I was helping you
Get a grip of yourself
Did you know that
I lost mine in the process?

I am a masterpiece
beautifully crafted by you
I am a canvas of bliss
painted in a vibrant hue.
Yet you never admired me
instead, you ignored the beauty within
how cruel is my destiny
the end of me is about to begin.
You disheveled my peace
I pleaded but there was no sound
slowly, piece by piece
I fell on the hard ground.
Soon, I will feel no pain
for the strong me is now awake
one day, I shall stand again
and by then, I'll be a wonderful mosaic.

Let those pearls of sadness
cascade down your cheeks,
let them fall freely
into the rich, untouched soil.
For those shall water
the seed of hope beneath
until it blossom into a seedling
called
Life.

People have always admired
the moon which holds untold chronicles
and the stars as twinkling little orbs
but not the night sky that cradles
the mesmerizing sight to behold.

Her soul is bleeding,
her colors are fading;
instead of becoming nothing,
she chose to give away her everything.

And so...

The world around her
suddenly turned brighter,
and there she was
slowly becoming duller.

The pain was unbearable
yet she silently endured it all,
she held the brush in her hand
and painted until the end.

There's this piece inside of me
which often seeks tranquility
but then it drenched in agony,
all because of a somebody.
A somebody that carries hell with him,
not a ring of flames but of darkness within,
Inflicting so much pain with a devilish grin
Showing no mercy, so brutal and mean.

So here's a poem that rhyme,
a piece of me is lost for quite some time,
couldn't find it's way back
'coz everything is covered in pitch black.
So now, this piece I have inside,
will forever be on the hide,
retreating slowly on the back of my mind,
making sure that it can never be found.

"Put on your lipstick sweetie, the pink shade will do
Apply some eyeshadow in an enticing hue,
Your hair must be done in a fabulous curl
Then wear these expensive, snow white pearls.
You're now dressed up like a real princess, dear
Smile to the people as they wave and cheer
Keep your regal stance as you walk straight
Hands on your side, you look so great.
Look at the camera and beam cheerfully
Maintain your poise as you talk softly..."

As the light flashes, a thought crossed my mind,
I suddenly want to leave all of these behind
For this is not who I am or what I want to be
And this is not definitely the real me.
Smudged all the lipstick off, dropped the jewelry down
Pulled my hair and tied it in a messy bun
I stood there, chin up and proud
Then I silently walked away from the crowd.

Head's heavy, eyes can't open wide
Cramps twist like a knot inside,
But sleep's a dream I am denied.

The blood that seeped
out of your wounds
shall grow a garden of roses.

Now that she gave up
the fight against
the demons inside her head;
please, don't be
mad
sad
frustrated
disappointed;
don't put the blame on her
saying she could've asked for help;
she did but it fell on deaf ears;
she tried to ward off the demons
whispering to her every night;
she tried to deviate
from the dark thoughts in her mind;
she tried to keep
the blade away from her wrist;
she tried to keep
her sanity in her grip;
she did and tried,
all by herself;
she tried and tried
until she succeeded... not.

She did.
She tried.
And she lost the fight.
But she finally found the peace
that has long evaded her sight.

Is a pair of spectacles needed
for you to clearly see me,
for you to perceive my worth,
and appreciate my existence?

With just a bit more force
With just a slight, deliberate twist,
The delicate nerves may snap
And this lowly life force will be snuffed.

I was enthralled by the dazzling sight
His vibrant hues basking on an ethereal light
He is a blooming sunflower, so bold and bright,
A presence that fills my world with delight.

But as days pass by, admiration turns to despair
I am always there but he doesn't seem to care
To me, he has no glance to spare
As if my existence is just like that of air.

Indeed a sunflower, steadfast and true,
A devoted seeker of the sun's warm hue
From dawn's first light, 'til twilight's farewell,
He ceaselessly chases the sun's radiant trail.

Tried to capture his gaze with graceful flight
With wings adorned in colors, so vivid and bright
But his gaze never wavered from the sun's allure
Leaving my little heart with so much pain to endure.

So I continue to flutter in life's fleeting dance,
Relentlessly seeking love's sweet romance
For one day, destiny's garden may bestow,
A sunflower's love where our hearts will glow.

He asked me if I was hurting
But I told him that I was not
He then asked why am I crying
And I couldn't voice out a response
I was stumped for a while
"Why are you crying?"
The question echoed in my mind
Why am I crying?
Am I still hurting?
But no, I don't feel anything
And so, why are these tears falling?
Then I realised.

Perhaps our eyes need to be cleansed by tears
To wash away the memories of yesteryears.

She soothed souls, brought calm and peace,
Yet within herself, turmoil doesn't cease
So amidst the chaos, she seeks reprieve,
But her own solace, she can't perceive
With tears and doubts, she fights the tide,
Hoping her peace won't be denied.

iii.
You see me in the company of billions of stars
The truth is I am alone for they are so far
Yes, I'm alone but did you hear me cry?
So hush now, sweetie and close your eyes
I couldn't comfort you with a warm embrace
But I'll command the wind to tenderly caress your face.

Soon, the sun will be out swelling with brightness
And you'll need energy to face another day
So let yourself drift into the familiar darkness
'Til you feel it hit your face, the morning rays.

i.
From the east, I rose towards the sky
What time is it? It's nightwatch time!
From behind the clouds is where I lie
I gazed down on the mortals
As they sleep soundly and feel comfy.

But...

Amidst the deafening silence of the night,
I heard uncontrollable sobs yet no one's on sight.
Someone's cowering in the corner of a room!
I took a peek and then,
I saw you, covered in gloom.

iv.
My light will never be as bright
Like the Sun that blinds the sight
And that's the only thing I could offer
So you won't feel alone & forlornly suffer.

For I am only the Moon
That gives off gentle light,
Hoping it would warm your lonely heart.

I am the Moon
And I will never be like the Sun
I cannot give the things that he can.

ii.
Can't sleep again, little one?
Don't be afraid! The monsters are gone.
Now, turn the lights off and go to bed,
There's no more to the nightmares you had.
For when the darkness finally engulfs you
I am always here to wash away your blues
Watching from behind the clouds,
I shall give you this little radiance of light
So you may find solace in this lonely night.
I am Luna, the goddess of the moon
Your only friend from dusk until dawn
Floating above, almost kissing the serene ocean
I'll be your company 'til the Sun rises once again.

v.
Fare thee well, little one!
My reign has ended; and his had began.
I will now fade away and concede
For now, I am going to sleep
Coz it's time for the Sun to regain his throne
And another day for me to be alone.

To the west, I slowly vanished from the sky
What time is it? It's time to say goodbye.

Those sweet white lies
offered a feeling so nice
I drowned, I cannot rise,
and pain was the prize.

You are like the stars
You shine bright in the dark
Because of those luminous scars,
You glimmer even from afar.

I wonder if like the stars
Will you also lose your bright light?
Turn into a black hole with fading sparks
******* up all your might to fight?

Will you...?

Will you still be like the stars?