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  Mar 2019 Silverflame
AshWilson
A small victory earned today.
I thought I was out.
I wanted to end it all again,
And leave them all about.
I thought it was all over,
I thought I was finally done.
A small glimpse of happiness and I thought I wasn’t numb.

I wanted to be at rest. I wanted to finally relax,
But I can’t get it off my chest, the family that’ll be on my back.
I never thought they cared,
The bond was only blood,
But I just can’t shake this feeling.
This **** feeling in my gut.

My mind struggles to hold on,
Holding back my temptation.
I can’t even remember the days,
Were happiness wasn’t just my imagination.

I have to put it back down, I need to find my grit.
I need to put it all aside and finally recommit.

Recommit to finding happiness,
To find my own light.
I hate this feeling inside my head.
But for myself.
I have to fight.
  Mar 2019 Silverflame
V
The art of creating problems that do not exist.
Been doing this a lot lately. ):
  Mar 2019 Silverflame
Joliver
If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
"Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
"Okay"
Is off-brand raisin bran
"Okay"
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

"Okay"
Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

"Okay"
Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
"Okay"
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
"Okay"
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
"Okay"
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
"Okay"
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
"Okay"
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
"Okay"
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
"Okay"
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
"Okay"
Okay?
Silverflame Mar 2019
Death is calling tonight,
the air carries the old message.
Stepping over the line,
falling into non-existence.
  Feb 2019 Silverflame
Tanay
Rain on me,
I have been longing to be free.
Lost in my world, needlessly.

Rain on me,
I am tired of fighting but I will not sleep.
I refuse to be reigned and I refuse to be a sheep.

Rain on me
and show me the way.
This place is empty and I cannot stay.

Rain on me
because it has been too long.
I am sick and tired of pretending to be strong.

Rain on me,
I want to see the lightning pierce the sky.
As the thunder roars and the clouds fly.

Rain on me.
Let the winds take my mind to another land.
No one needs to know and no one needs to understand.
Tanay Sengupta, Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved.
  Feb 2019 Silverflame
noa
cold plastic flowers in a chipped ceramic vase
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