Like many before me
the mirror is my enemy
it shows me things I don't want to be
it shows me a twisted image of reality
It haunts me from within
by planting hoaxes under my skin
burned to my core is the malicious grin
hatched from the depths of my mirror twin
The city's drowsiness
seeps into the bus,
leaving behind misty
eyes and empty promises
of a better tomorrow.
For a while, everything
But I know I'm playing
a dangerous game
with this self-fabricated
It will eventually
burst and leave me
halfway there, enveloped
in a nirvana of despair.
Despite knowing this,
I still dive in; head first.
A lonely snowdrop initiate the dance
out in the woods on the bare ground
they emerge, one by one
as shooting stars on a highway
they embroider a blanket of white serenity
to embrace spring and greet her once again
Death is calling tonight,
the air carries the old message.
Stepping over the line,
falling into non-existence.
Pretending everything is fine,
until you fall into the pitch black.
Then you lie motionless in pain,
wrenching your soul and
crying your heart out.
Afterward, the headache hits you
like a blazing fire, accompanying
your sadness so you feel less alone.
Then demons with insomnia
play with the clock, forcing your
mind to wander again tonight.
At some point, stillness will find
you and it'll shoot its bullet in
your flesh; a mercy ****.
Oblivion will then sweep
you off your feet and
shroud you in woven peace.
Nothingness will be blasting
out loud, until the golden rays
find your eye corner and
trespass with fuming ferocity.
And then it all begins anew.
I bury this year's stillborn dreams
in the soil of despair, before the
new year begins with colorful
explosions embroidered in the sky.
22; i'm 22,
still don't know what to do.
Roaming around in my mind,
chasing dreams that aren't mine.
Lost in circus - lost in perfection,
changing my reflection.
Smile mirror, smile
dance with luck for a while.
Down the drain it goes,
dripping failure flows
from the eyes to the toes.
How is it possible to feel
so empty, when the negative
thoughts keep piling up?
The pills make me brave
no more stumbling words
or drowning in attention-waves.
The pills make me calm
no more marathon in my chest
but no calm without a storm.
The pills make me relax
no more arson in my cheeks
but i know it soon will attack.
The pills make me happy
or at least they suppress the tears
but they haven't set me truly free.
The pills make me a better version
while the real me is still a wreck
how do i break the distortion?
The pills make me feel alive
yet i'm still dying on the inside
but here i am; i intend to survive.
I'm just a sad girl trying her best to be less sad.
The love you paint in my heart,
looks more like vandalism than art.
Lightning bolts embroidered on swaying hips;
two oceans roam with potential danger.
Come take a sip of wonder - if you dare;
let the water guide home the lost sailor.
The porcelain bird flew so very high
until its neck encountered with the ground.
From the windowsill to the edge of night
it died alone; with no one else around.
I let go of my first love before it had a chance to bloom.
I watched it fall with autumn into the descending moon.
But here we are again; talking about yesterday's tune.
It's like nothing ever happened, and thus my pain resumes.
I try to say what's on my mind,
but the words are in commotion.
I keep it bottled up inside;
a walking wreck of emotions.
You only see the tip of the iceberg,
but my feelings are pacific deep.
When will my love stop being unheard,
so my insecurities can sleep.
I'm sporadic alive; roaming around,
trying to cope with my endless stress.
I hope you dare to see my ghost town,
where the fragile me are taking a rest.
As a child, I said hello to poetry;
but I did not know that it would
become my ultimate adult therapy.
my old futile dreams
make the windows all misty
ripping up the seams
blood mixed with ancient whiskey
a smile around the corner
lures the naive mind
******* up the world order
another death wish signed
overhead, brick by brick
the november wind stands still
heart oozing of homesick
empty thoughts my glass refill
delusions cover my sight
faraway lights blink with eager
fixing the crooked night
dinner with the grim reaper
A poem I wrote last year, which I someone managed to delete with my clumsy fingers.
The "us" in my head was just
a stillborn dream of mine.
But in another life, that dream
would live and breathe with us.
I have butterflies
roaming in my chest.
But these are not the
these are the bad ones.
They have been kissed
by death and their wings
coated in despair have
found a nest inside of me.
They call me the angel child;
and I suppose at some point, I once was one.
But my demons have cut off my wings a long time ago.
Kind of ironic.
I cut the pain away, I cut you off as well
how can I survive, when all I know is ****
I've seen the world burn down, I've seen my self decay
but what should I do, when reality fades away?
Tell me it'll be alright, tell me the morning is on its way
hold my hand forevermore, and keep the loneliness at bay
The pain rushes in with the tide,
and I feel so alone now, without you by my side
the darkness is whispering sweet dreams of mine,
but what am I supposed to do
when the darkness comes inside?
Touch me with your words, not your hands
come to me *****, even when you're covered
devour my soul, and worship my mind
trace my skin and kiss my battle wounds
Read my story the dancing ink displays
whisper words of salvation into my ear
don't protect me, I know how to wreck
I don't want your gold, only your hand in mine
The black ink curves over my
skin like a crouching tiger.
The pain is nothing compared to the open
wound that has settled in my heart.
My guardian angel with no wings
nor halo has given me the emptiness.
He sits on the silver-plated moon,
he keeps her company.
The ink has etched into my skin,
writing down his and my history.
Without him the Grim Reaper would
have harvested my life-flower long ago.
He held his hand over me when
I walked on broken glass.
He hummed lullabies when
the demons screamed their chants.
He wiped my tears away
when the mirror was distorted.
His presence played chess with
the ever oppressive solitude.
Now that he is gone, I am an easy
prey for the lions of the world.
I'm just a bunny,
my vegetables can scare nobody.
But he was also a bunny,
a bunny who fought to the last.
So the least I can do is fight so
he can see he did not fight in vain.
And if I ever feel lonely,
I'll just dive into the moonlight
where he resides.
With a smile on your mouth
I see the evening breathing out
Calling my long lost name
And while I don't you recall
I hear you whisper, while I fall
Pouring memories down the drain
I tried to make you understand
You need to leave wonderland
The lion still kills without claws
But you crashed with the reality
Leaving strangers with serenity
Drowning in the final applause
His nocturnal desires have awoken,
they roam carelessly on the moonlit highway.
Tangled in cryptic and claustrophobic visions,
hands on the steering wheel; aiming at prey.
It hails with burned-out dreams,
morphine-filled words whisper about salvation.
Pines sprinkle their prickly love on his ragdoll,
igniting the poor man's gold excavation.
Lemon drops poured into his frayed heart,
a nirvana of thoughts etched in the sky.
The beacon revealed his method of madness,
he kept the grain of salt in his eye.
A random piece based on a dream I had.
Fun and games
that's all it takes
to keep young hearts in motion
but one night like the
thousands of others
she went missing;
gone from sight and
gone from everyday life
Time went by
and she went with it
the clock was a ticking bomb;
waiting to find hope
and explode with glee
but on the happiest
day of the world
it took a sharp turn
She was found in the
morning's cold embrace
no trace of life remained;
robbed of innocence
robbed of possibilities
never to open eyes again
never to open the front door
and say "I'm home"
Based on the ****** of the Danish girl Emilie Meng in 2016. Her murderer is still not found.
Open your eyes and see the world;
it's been here the whole time.
Free your heart and free your mind;
loving yourself is no crime.
Take off your mask and just be you;
it takes courage to come alive.
Let the light fight the dark away;
you don't need to be disguised.
Tell the world you're here to stay;
drown your doubt in the river bend.
Believe in yourself and you'll realize;
you're your own hero in the end.
Lie with me
on this ancient
ground and keep
me warm with
your lies about
a better tomorrow
die with the
remnants of my
Little free sparrow
with the sad sound,
rolling with its shadow
all night long.
Settles in your heart
with memories of that once was,
and if you keep quiet
you can still hear its song.
Little blue butterfly
floats on the last day of May,
around in the bright spring
off on life's highway.
It has seen the world
and take it all as a play,
it dives into an ocean of clover
and a nirvana of forget-me-not.
Little black cat
spins the dark night,
chasing rare demons
while guarding your mind.
While you're away in dreams
nothing dangerous can come in here,
two large amber eyes are watching
shining like moonlight.
Little white dove
with wings as a sign of peace,
knocking gently on your doorstep
waiting for crumbs of love.
Somewhere unknown it flew away
around its little leg hung a message:
"wipe the diamonds away from the cheek
and keep in mind that nothing lasts forever."
A loaded gun behind the perfect shot,
infiltrate my mind with memories I forgot.
Pills and potions couldn't help ease the pain,
the man with the mask I can no longer keep sane.
And in the bleeding sky I saw,
scars I've encountered once before.
The depth is scary, but I can't look away,
I dive and drown in this red ocean every day.
I close my eyes and hum a song,
trying to outshout the things I've done wrong.
It's a suicide mission to try and win this fight,
so I'll just get lost with the strangers of the night.
On the gleaming tracks I run with no goal,
it's just an endless journey within a distant black hole.
I'm just a fraction of something that could've been great,
but, I know it's too late to change my bulletproof fate.
You did not want to make me cry
I did not want to say goodbye
oh, I've been a fool for far too long
You did not want to make amends
I did not want to make it end
oh, what can I do to get to you?
I did not get to save your soul
now I'm sitting here alone
bleeding heavily from loving you
And I know that it's way too late
I put my life in your fate
but I'm still smiling here in the dark
come forward, you sweet whimsical dream.
fill my mind up with all sorts of beauties.
leave my bed empty, but my smile frozen.
these euphoric senses dance on my duvet,
to later sleep on my pillow.
I wish I could stay here forever.
for this one feeling.
the feeling of something.
something like the very feeling of feelings;
here I have forgotten you.
here I am free of the idea of a
silhouette, that used to be mine.
but; there is always a but.
when the sun's lazy hot
rays tickle my eyes open.
and the birds, now mournful,
chirping trespass my ears.
there falls the heavy brick down,
and with a sudden bang.
I see the raven black silhouette,
crystallized in the corner of my eye.
front line; left behind
a steady battle cry crawls
into the death drum
deep in the pond with goldfish
the final breakdown
rosy stray lips talk too much
drinking the false truth
He just swims in his mind
drowning sorrows in drinks,
the light has burnt out
he's unable to think,
about life and what to do.
He sneaks off in the night
taking heavy-hearted steps,
he leaves nothing behind
he just wants to forget,
about life and what not to do.
a central, vicious star writes
whilst watching the skulls
a golden, bare halo flies
betrayed by the knife
a slight, fragile bubble trapped
by the ballpoint pen
yet my mind is still flying away to the countryside
to dance with the lark under the meadow bridge
I hope this never change, no matter how old I get.
My birthday was 25th of December :)
Eventually pain became my friend.
An ally I could trust completely.
It would tell me when I was badly wounded.
But this friend became an addiction.
A toxic relationship with no escape.
And when my mind wandered off to other places,
trying to forget everything,
it would drag me back into reality with no mercy.
Scars can only heal if you leave them alone,
but this friend ripped them up every night.
I can’t lie and say it didn’t hurt,
but at least I knew I was still alive.
An old poem I found collecting dust on my computer.
I've been busy with studying, so I miss writing poems.
Oh well, I'll hopefully get some time to write again soon.
run with the wind to
the killing freedom
search for the
surrounded by fields
to make an eternal summer
the frozen sun goes
around and around
a bird with a
broken wing is dead
no one came to visit
i scraped my knees in the
realms of time
i don't know where to hide
under the willow tree
to find and harvest
the new moon
a cracked ceiling blinks
with long lashes
my long lost friend is
still ice cold
it is not yet spring
greet my reflection if
i go too long
a transparent person
it looks a lot like
I turn my weird dreams into weird poetry.
it’s like i’m trapped inside of an oyster
hidden away from the world;
except i am not a precious pearl
waiting to be found
I take occasional sips
from my favorite mug that
I've poured chamomile tea into.
It's strange how we
change through the years.
When I was younger I hated
chamomile tea, since my mum
made it when I was sick.
But now, it's one of my favorites.
I guess my soul is sickened of the
mundane world I live in,
and it needs something to
clam it down.
I’m a healer; not a feeler,
a traveler with loss of passion.
Pipe dreams are clear when day is gone,
then I spawn stories you can’t imagine.
I’m a wanderer; but I am not lost,
burn the human manufactures.
The sky is bleeding poor man’s gold,
drowning lunatic dream-catchers.
I’m a winter child; but my heart is fire,
it's a roaring black hole of ancient lullabies.
Follow the zebra through the midnight woods,
I saw glimpse of amnesia in its eyes.
This is based on a dream I've had recently.
It's quite random, which dreams tend to be.
Hair was dark as night
the silver fox has arrived
I call her mother
Roasted chestnut eyes
searching for people to help
hope lives in her palms
Four strong beating hearts
she embroidered those to us
a human angel
Today is her day
because she emerged from it
April dwells in her
For my mother - today is her birthday! :)
Seeing the changes
floating away with the stream
give back my childhood
Trying out another haiku.
Melt away my fear
hold my hand for just a bit
hungry eyes waiting
First time playing around with a haiku.
We almost made it
Hence the word almost
You left with no trace
Do you regret leaving?
I* am a mess without you
Don't pretend we were nothing
You promised you'd be there for me
Unfortunately, you lied
Liquor is now your replacement
Eating seems pointless
After you left, everything lost meaning
Volcano meets tornado
Erase my foolishness
Maybe I still love you
Even now, when you don't deserve it
This is an acrostic poem I wrote a long time ago...
Wherever you look she is there, waiting;
beautiful and cold as she is,
for someone to entertain her.
When the sleepy skies yawn away and
his golden locks take the podium,
he can’t help but notice only her.
He invites to dance, so she lifts her skirts high
and puts her transparent hand in his and
together they dance their crystal waltz.
He might entertain her only for a while,
because she will soon perish from something
magically beautiful to just another puddle.*
But despite knowing this, she does not mind at all.