Some people look like and act like heaven
But have the intentions of hell
Some people look like hell
but are like heaven
How these hell people jump to quickly to judge or put down others
And these heaven people try to put back the pieces of the broken body together
Every time I hear someone complain and question on why God would let bad people in this world,
I always have the answer of saying that God put selfless people in this world
People who save lives, take bullets, give blood and organs, make others smile
Coming across these heaven people is rare because it seems like there are more hell people
But without these hell people, we wouldn't fully appreciate heaven people

All his life, he has been searching for something, but he didn't know what
He wasn't looking for love or feeling wanderlust
Always content but never fully happy
His own house did not even feel like a home to him
It was just a place
But one day,
he met a girl
As soon as he saw her, he knew what he has been looking for all his life
As soon as he got to know her, he was fully happy and found where he was supposed to be in his life for the first time
He found comfort, love, joy, happiness in her
He found a home in her.

Little girls are always happy
They don't think about how they look
They are just genuinely happy
Until they start seeing pictures and ads of models
It is so painful to see these little girls compare themselves to them
They don't understand that those models don't even look like models
Due to photoshop and plastic surgery
Why does women have a physical attraction standard
It makes these little girls grow up and start to abuse their own bodies
Just to look like these models in the media

I could be in my bed in the middle of the night
or at work clocked in half way through my shift
and it starts:
My heart racing, my blood rushing, my breath becoming shorter
I start to sweat like the rain in Seattle
Feeling so nervous like I am slowly walking to my slow painful death in anticipation
The world starts to spin fast and faster and faster
I feel paralyzed trying to make it stop
"Anxiety is not a real thing" they say
But if it isn't a real thing, why is it so painful?

I have learned growing up to never let any man take advantage of me
I have always tried to follow this advice fully knowing that following this advice is the safe thing to do and the right thing to do
Until one fateful day.
Why can't women walk alone at night anymore?
The silence of him attacking me, the silence of him ripping off my clothes and taking advantage of me, the silence of him enjoying every second, has been the most loudest noise I have ever heard
The noise and sight and his touch can't go away
No matter how many showers I take
No matter how loud I play my music
In the moment and for the rest of my life, I feel less than the trash in the garbage bin
It felt as though all my future, my self love, my dignity, my dreams all went away when he pulled up his pants and left me for dead.

How can people be so desperate to be with others, to feel other peoples attention on themselves?
Maybe it is because they never learned how to love their own self
The best person to take on a date is yourself
The best relationship to have is the one you have with yourself
The best feeling to have is to complete things with all your own effort, to not rely on someone and be fully capable of doing little and big things on your own
The world is changing, it is okay for women and men to live by themselves
Before marrying someone, be the person that you would want to marry.

Growing up, I always saw myself as the princess that needed to be rescued by a handsome prince.
Waiting for the one to come in his shining silver armor and a sword that shines in the moonlight
while I wear the long flowing dresses and a crown, only sitting and waiting.
While waiting for him, he is out fighting and battling, living an adventure.
Now I sit here and realize:
I am the one who saved myself
I am not only wearing my crown, but also the silver armor and carrying my own sword.
I am the one waiting on myself to have my own adventures.
Not only am I my own princess, I am my own knight.
I am my own savior.