come with me in the driving rain
Take a chance,make a dance, a thunder dance
Impending lightning sky, potential suicide
You're crazy you cried, Yet you need me inside
so we ride on the lightning together
And knowing one strike puts us together forever

blood red, cut with me, make your pact, can't you see
You could just call me crazy and run away far from me
Yet you know I would die, the most torturous cry and pleads
just so you could live and breath, with my guts on the sword as I bleed

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

Mother still says Im poision and you are permananently glued
Stuck to me, cant get away, wont fade away, cant come loose
But then again I like your obsession and I surely adore mine
I swallow you up like a possession, Im a vampire I **** you to make you my bride

We cut, we wear goth, everybody says we went off the deepest end
We said thats enough, painted our lips black, Our hair looks like sin
We are one in our dress, we are one in our flesh, we are everything
Im thankful we possess each others brains and nothing about us is lame
The Day I met you in the palace of my heart is the day you came
And the song we sing is the most heavenly in the lightning and the rain

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

Some people say that true love does not exist. It's funny cause I used to be that exact person. With having to deal with such agony of a loss of my own mother at a young age, reality became a part of my world. Love though, was never evident to me. Never clear, nor around. Hope was lost along with faith. How could I ever turn to bringing myself alive with feelings only someone else could give me?

It happened.

Struck me through many faults, and times of confusion.. I found myself to be fascinated and utterly taken by someone else life. It just gathers your feelings and throws them into a well that you will never get back. I fell deeply, madly, continuously, in-love.  But this was a love that had no way to be described or defined. This love to me became more than a feeling it was a sense of living, and to be without it would be impossible, heart-wrecking. It became my persuasion at life.My hope for a future, and my inspiration for believing in greater things. You did this to my heart . You filled my vains with something other than blood, but yet a poision that only you could make. Your love. Your taste.Your sound, smile, your looks, and just the way you walked in room making it seem so alive, i was captivated.

Love is so wrecking, and is so STRONG. It is something that should not be messed with . People ask me all the time.. how could you be inlove your so young... you have a whole world to meet...there are bigger things than this. What does that matter. No age, no number, no disease or death could determine such love that is unconditional. You see, its not forced.. its just there. Its as if you blink for a second and your whole world is changed. you feel as if theres a glass over your eyes and you know longer just live for yourself. You live to protect, to hold, to cherish, and to provide whoever that special someone may be with every part of your soul .

You mean the world and beyond to me. You mean such beautiful dreams to me. You soul brings me down to feel all the gravities of love. Your bright,your sunny, your breath taking in every cliche way their is in a sense of being mine and only mine.

Life brings us these mysteries, and obstacles that we must overcome to be strong and better than we could ever imagine being. Sometimes things happen that we may not even have the mind to control or explain, but to work over. You have always been my strength, and my biggest weakness but will never be any sense of failure to me. We must be braver to be brave, to feel extreme, and to experience the true meanings beneath compassion, and loyalty, and security. Once a love so strong, that a love must be stronger. You are my one and only . My fairytale that has no end . Your my storybook, and although i may be hurt , i trust in your heart that you will replenshish this love  and vision how our lives intertwine for such powerful reasons. We've had a love that cannot die nor burn out. So believe me , i will never stop loving you now , then , and after that. True love exists in the eyes of the beholder, and i am a victim of something so moving that no pull could break my longing for your touch.

I love you , I need you and I only pray for your heart. never give up.

-Jl

Guy-I'm no good for you please stay away!
Did u hear me i said stay away!
I've already did some damage to you
Heart broken people can only break more hearts so please stay away

Girl-Maybe i like the feeling of pain because all i want is you the way u laugh like there's no tommorow the way u hold me as if your holding a new born baby
When I’m with you all my worries go away

Boy-your not listening to me my love is toxic I have issues the way I treated you is wrong...go and find someone better than me

Girl-I only want you! Just because you have been heart broken before doesn’t mean your going to break my heart

My ankle is chained.
I gripped on the railing of my sinking ship, hoping i could pull myself out of the water.

As i waited for rescue, rain poured down and waves grew bigger.
The chain attached to my ankle was too heavy that my hand was already slipping. I had to let go since it felt like i was being torn in two as i was being anchored down the depths of the ocean. I was sure my ankle bled from the chain's tightness and the weight that was pulling me down but i couldn't feel the pain. All i felt was the freezing cold water and my heavy chest.

It was as if my heart carried my whole weight.

I never wanted to drown but i felt like i no longer had enough strength to resist. I gasped for air one last time and yet even the air felt like poision.

Now i felt the physical pain. It stung.
My throat was on fire as i allowed myself to be dragged further down. I closed my eyes as tight as i could and clenched my teeth while my body trembled in pain and my chest felt tighter.  

This. This was the only time i hoped my heart would stop beating. but no matter how i hard i wished or prayed, it wouldn't stop. It felt like an hour of drowning and yet i was still conscious. It's my fault. I built it like this. I built it with hope and faith for years. Now i couldn't understand whether it was for good or bad. To hold on to life or hold on to the pain?

Slowly, i was being pulled deeper down the ocean. I tried to open my eyes but i couldn't see anything anymore. There was nothing but the color red.

I never knew i had this amount of blood. Enough to build an ocean which only God can make.

I'm still alive. I can move.
But i am stuck underneath this ocean of blood with my chest still tightening, unsure of when the pain would stop or if anyone could find me at this depth.

You said you'd come visit. So I left a note on my desk hoping you'd find it. I went cruising even if i hated the waters. I brought an anchor and a chain with me but i left its key on the desk too. I had no idea what it was for or why i brought it. All i knew was i was watching the sunset and it was suddenly chained to me when darkness came. I didn't know how my ship sank or how i got in the water. Maybe it was not in good condition. But then again, i knew you would check it everyday because you told me so.

Where are you? Have't you read my note yet? Did you come visit? Are you on your way?


I'll be here waiting, holding on, and hoping that your hand would be the first one to pull me out of my misery. Even if i know you'd never read the note in the first place.

This scent of you, it clings to my skin,
it clings like a rash that's boiled over from within.
I scratch at this poison that has marked my flesh,
the scent of you, at your very ****** best.
I throw off the covers and hit the wall with my fist;
should lust be a sin, if lust is like this?
And no matter what with who, how, what or where,
everytime i sleep i can feel your ****** stare.
And the weight of your fingers on the back of my neck
drives me to nightmares, and meaningless ***.
Tinged by the moment and forgotten by the hue,
my arms are brusied easily by the scent of you.
I'm running wildly through bracken and fire,
i'm running as a beast would run from apathy and desire.
I, the lone wolf, i'm moonlit, i scratch and i howl,
at the memory of your face, and your sneering sharp scowl.
I, the lone rider, in flight fearless, reckless and abused,
I jump fields, catch branches, torn, bleeding and bruised.
I hide in the woods, and float in the sea
I'm hiding myself from the deepest memory of me.
You're the poision ivy to my deepest forest of bark,
You're the drifting snow to my deepest vision of dark.
This scent of you, it clings to my lips
and i bite my tongue as i stretch my fingertips.
There is no sense in this dirt that flies through my hands
my thoughts are lost as stone is lost in beached sands.
I rip at my skin and i tear at my voice
I made this my dealing, at my beck, at my choice.
I draw upon my body like a breeze skims the ground,
there is no more wanton whimper, than there is my sound.
And at night when the nightmares come and i scream in my sleep,
the scent of you overwhelms my body, and i sow what i reap.
I lightly collect my feelings and throw them in a box,
I wrap in chains and cover it in locks.
I have been fooled, i have been fooled and blinded by you
and this scent lingers, in a memory of a distant bluish hue.
I watch as you walk away, your hips sway, tail high
And i howl and i scream and i sit and i cry.
And whilst i linger alongside this sharp vivid movie scene,
i count my bruises and feel quietly serene.

Come with me in the driving rain
Take a chance,make a dance, a thunder dance
Impending lightning sky, potential suicide
You're crazy you cried, Yet you need me inside
so we ride on the lightning together
And knowing one strike puts us together forever

blood red, cut with me, make your pact, can't you see
You could just call me crazy and run away far from me
Yet you know I would die, the most torturous cry and pleads
just so you could live and breath, with my guts on the sword as I bleed

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

Mother still says Im poision and you are permananently glued
Stuck to me, cant get away, wont fade away, cant come loose
But then again I like your obsession and I surely adore mine
I swallow you up like a possession, Im a vampire I **** you to make you my bride

We cut, we wear goth, everybody says we went off the deepest end
We said thats enough, painted our lips black, Our hair looks like sin
We are one in our dress, we are one in our flesh, we are everything
Im thankful we possess each others brains and nothing about us is lame
The Day I met you in the palace of my heart is the day you came
And the song we sing is the most heavenly in the lightning and the rain

Mother maybe said I was poision for you
Yet mother never knew how much I'd die for you
Yet mother never knew how much my love is real for you
And how much I pray that we may become a solid crew
Like bonnie, Like clyde, without the bullet ride!!
Impending doom, Lightning Sky.Im consumed with you til I die!!

back and forth, back and forth
it drove him insane
but the back and forth, back and forth
was still better than the pain

he'd rather be in uncertainty
than lose her all at once
the fear of never speaking to her again
was better than enduring silence for a few months

but it got to him, still
her lack of commitment and the way her mind changed
he wondered if it was so easy, to let him go
if loving him was as easy as being from him estranged

she was so hard to predict and it wasn't easy
she went from 'i love you' to 'i'm leaving'
one day she'll want to choose you, the other, lose you
she went from all night conversations to not even speaking

i guess for him, the pros outweighed the cons
the hope outweighed the fear
he'd rather live in anxiety
than the lose the possibility of keeping her near

it hurt him inside, every now and often
but he embraced the uncertainty, the shaky life
he kept his mouth shut and took what he could get
praying every night that one day, she might choose him for good, and become his wife.

“To be or not to be, that is the question”
The answer, still unclear
Cans’t we be and not be at the same time?
That way we can choose how to be when life gets in the way
Would be easier on everyone

“I’m afraid I’m turning into a cliché”
My entire existence is a cliché
I’ve thought it up before
And here I go repeating
Preaching my so-called life
To those I thought had it different
I was wrong

“What Am I Missing?”
Besides you of course?
Besides your smile?
Not much I think

“Willing to tolerate less frequent service”
From the people in charge
Apparently we have free will
Who knew?  

“Licks his lips , turns my hands”
I am a clock
Only time will tell
When my hands will show
Quarter to midnight
He cannot turn time
Before it turns him

“I am one half of him
You will see
Cut me in half to reveal his trickery”
You will see
Where he tried to turn the hands of time
And failed
Cut him in half
You will find
The bind of time he almost left behind
That he almost broke and shattered
“The trauma cut both ways”

“Juliet’s the word they use for anyone that’s done it with pills or poision”
It’s also our word for a fool
Who was in so much pain
She caused more pain to herself
Who chose to halt the hands of time
Before it was time to
You cannot meddle with these kinds of things
Time cannot stand it



“The wall I was knocking down”
The one that kept me from you
The one that cheated time
“All of it was simply not the real thing”

“Maybe the supreme self-confidence I envied, was nothing more than masked insecurity”
Maybe the whole world is a façade
Just waiting to be uncovered
Waiting for the right person to come along
And reveal the secrets of time and space
There is no use in envy
It causes unnecessary guilt
Towards a cause you yourself did not create

“Adjusting or adapting a scheme”
Time is a pattern we must adapt to
We cannot be radical and say,
‘***** you time, I won’t conform!’
You must.
Being radical isn’t necessary
When you are given one of the most precious things
You will ever receive
Cherish it
It’s what you must do
“Now I understand”

I may have love
I may lose love
But I will never regret a single thing
For I know that I had not cheated time
I had lived a full life
Embraced every moment
“Splendid if I overcome my earthly passion, but if I succeed, still I have known happiness”





  Hamlet by William Shakespeare
2 Midway by David Homel
3 Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepard
4 Economic Naturalist by Robert H. Frank
5 Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
6 “His Ace of Spades” by Noelle Havens, a poem from Cellar Roots Literary Magazine, p.69
7 Militainment, Inc. by Roger Stahl
8 Kneller’s Happy Campers by Etgar Keret
9 “An Exclusive” from The ******* the Fridge by Etgar Keret
10 Death of Ivan Illyich by Leo Tolstoy
11Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty
12 World of Children textbook by Greg Cook
13Set Me Free by Miranda Beverely-Whitmore
14 Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Dark night, filling earth and sky, in silence; minty, silky soft,
like the music flowing from the lyre of a jilted lover, vengeful,
let me drink your sweet poison, that would curtain me off for now,
from the torture of light, the love in which I once lost myself, cherished
now I want to forget those days fully,and fly out of this house of pain

Slumped in the backseat
Feel the light shine and pass across closed eyelids
Electricity sizzlez and pops against brain tissue
I want to end so I can be everything

Help reaches out in the form of tiny eyes and a few off-handed comments
Lets go play outside with masks on
Be careful, after years of work these walls are still fragile
Poision seeps, I left a stain on your bed

We brought reminders of home
Coffee smudged against the tile floor
Renovations needed made
Asleep against the wheel going seventy

Normalicy is living up to a bigger name
Unattainable in all the right ways
A bitter sweet dream that you can't help but
Reach for.

It is a false sense of security on a "normal" day
And the crushing weight when something goes wrong
Knowing you'll never be normal
As long as you worry

Anxiety is your least favorite friend
But somehow your closest
It’s a title you try to wear proudly
Claiming “titles don’t define me”

But somehow the symptom list consumes you
With every “please don’t do that”
And you’re sinking deeper with “it’s not that big of a deal”
You’re drowning when they do it anyway

Anxiety is a trigger list longer than a prescription name
And missed phone calls everyone’s used to
Knowing you’re the disappointment as plans fall apart
A broken heart when they just quit calling

It’s  your ticking time bomb on when you’ll be fired
When people will leave and you don’t try to convince yourself that they wont anymore
Because everyone does
It’s easier to leave than to help and to understand

It’s the toxic part of you that you try to hide
Cover it with bandaids
And hope they ignore the radioactive poison through your veins
And you’re just trying to feel like you’re not poision

It’s an IM box that understands and a parent that doesn’t
Knowing you’re not alone but feeling it anyway
Because when you’re choking for air and getting weird stares
You’re alone