: 'Its Holiday season'
Here are lists of things you need teach your child
at early age.
.
1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's
laps no matter the situation including uncles.
.
2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child
once he/she is 2years old.
Learn to excuse yourself.
.
3: If you have to hire a house-help, please kindly
take them for *** screening to determine their
*** status, properly interview them and make up
your mind to
treat them well.
.
4: Never allow any adult refer to your new born
as 'my wife' or 'my husband'.
.
5: Never tempt your husband with your younger
sister. (Else he'd say its her's and the devil's
fault)
.
6: Whenever your child goes out to play with
friends, make sure you look for a way to find out
what kind of play they played
together because young people now sexually
abuse themselves.
.
7: Never force your child to visit any adult he or
she is not comfortable with and also be
observant if your child becomes too fond of a
particular adult.
.
8: Once a very lively child suddenly becomes
withdrawn you might need to patiently ask alot of
questions from your child. If you don't teach your
children
about ***, the society will teach them the wrong
values.
.
9: It is always advisable you go through any new
Material like cartoons you just bought for them
before they start seeing it, you may Blue Movie
themselves.
.
10: Teach your 3 year old how to wash their
private parts properly and warn them never to
allow anyone touch those areas and that includes
you (remember, charity begins at home and with
you)
11: Once your child complains about a particular
person, don't keep quiet about it Take up the
case and show them you can
defend them always.
.
Then make sure they embraces God.
The bible said 'Train up a child in the way he
should go, And when he is old he will not depart
from it.

Insecurity and emotions soaked the adolescences of youthful decisions. A quest marked by consequences of such actions that needed to be filled….I’m ready for Love!!!….then gone…..More of the same prescription same action, 4 years and 20 tries…I’m ready for love!!!….then torment….can’t sustain in debauchery even if my heart was a seamless victim…2years..…CHANGE…..I knew better from bruises then to clutch to many women or bottle instead Bible…5years….I’m strong but my bones are scared.….I’m ready for love!!!…..then gone…..why why? Hmm darkness revealed in hind light sip that I was then drinking a more deadly brew......Selfish Pride……2years….CHANGE……I’m ready for love!!….Then nothing……Selfish Pride is hard to purge it goes low in heart especially in maturation but light seeks it till it leaves it’s post of guarding fear which was the nemesis all along….now I face it……”perfect Love casts out all fear” hmmm……Love I’m not ready yet!!!…..to be continued…………Thank you Jesus

I don't even know why I do the things I do maybe it's true that it's all because of u
then again maybe it's not, maybe this is all I got
since u been gone seems to b the only thing I can depend on
to make me feel better n I got no money for anything but
n I got this feeling in my gut that it's not the way to go n I know that I'm making a mistake, but it's so hard to break free
from what is just me being me
trying to escape the memories of what was once we
now just little ol me, lookin for some green grass n a shade tree .
but u can't escape the changing season
every single night I stack reason upon reason of why I don't wanna have to wake up
all I've ever done is take up space
I don't wanna have to face this bad place, I've put myself in
I wanna b the one who's helpin,not the one who needs help
I wanna b the one givin the advice. not the one payin the price
of being the nice guy
why try if u know u can't win?
this has been, a good look into my heartbreak n hopelessness
lets hope it's just a phase n there's better days to come, for the one who will never understand why u left in the first place
leaving me to live out the worst case
scenario... I survived barely thou
so many sleepless nice wondering where'd u go
how can u show such little consideration?
disappeared over night. no fight,  I know I didn't do everything right,but I tried
u lied
I remember u tellin me that ud always b mine, everything will b fine, n it'll all pass in time
on the line..callin collect from the county cryin
cuz they tell me,I cant go home for another 2years
had to hide the tears,n the fact that I was overcome with fears, n frustration
not to mention the devastation after get beat down for changing the station
on the radio.
little Wayne playin, over n over. sound of his voice I couldn't stand the
**** POWER 106, THE SOUTH SIDE, N SAMANTHA!

I used to have a lot of sweet metaphors to add in your girlfriends cake so she can bite the sweetness that will soon make her teeth rot and have them removed by the same dentist who made your sister pregnant with the same **** that had DNA of an 8year old child that was ***** and killed 2years ago found dead in the dustbins of Khayelitsha.

I don't believe at 1st love sight,
and so I fell at second sight. -_-

But why is it at New Year's strike,
I greet you dear and felt so none?
I deemed this heart as dead so once,
I felt so tired of losing heart.

I spent those years on a neverland,
where your single word could make my life
But now it seems that it's just a dream
that fades away in a single snap.

Now, I'm scared that my heart is dead
Feel again, then fade again??
This is a cycle I need to end
the deceit of love my heart so makes.

I'm the culprit, I'm not sane
Stay away cause I might tame

You know, it takes 2 years. . .
2years, of a reversal's piece.  .

My age is such a disrespect to how old my soul is
I've been 16 for 6 months now and I have learned so much
But really,
the lessons That can only be learned through experience;
Those started 3 years ago

In 3 years I learned just about enough to be set for the rest of my life

That makes me sad

I've always been different you know
Open minded
Non judgmental
Free spirited
Wild hearted
Rebellious
I thought about things in a different way
My intellect is and has always been one withholding infinite depth; at 13 years of age it was greater then my ability to differentiate from what was, what wasn't, and what could've been
I was definitely way to independent for my own good

I don't think that being a 13 year old made up of all those things was good for me

But I guess there's not much I can do about that considering the fact that all of that is left in the unfortunately non changeable and non reversible  thing called "the past"

I've felt way to much pain
I've been treated way to poorly
I've been used way to much
I've been taken for granted

Touched in unpleasant ways and wiped clean of confidence, trust, and security

There once was a time were I was able to feel
You know that type of feel you only obtain once in your life

And then I experienced my first heartbreak; it was as if I died for the first time

I remember the feeling as if it was still living in me

I found myself dried out of tears sitting on the floor staring at millions of tiny broken grey shards of glass .. I realized that I was staring at everything I was that had now been ripped from me; all of my many colors and my perfectly whole self was broken and grey lieing in the floor without life
it felt as if a knife was stabbing right through my chest and my loungs were filling with blood
slowly I was bleeding out
everything that I was; my innocence, the love I had yet to give was draining from my soul & hopelessness took over me for  I did not know how to make it stop

2years later
Many deaths later
Here I am
Empty

You might think:
"she's only 16 how could she be stuck in such a hopeless dark whole? How could her loungs be filled with such thick smoke composed of intoxicating and fatal desolation"

Truth is that's exactly how I torture myself every second of my dam life;
With that same question

How could I have let my past **** me and shape me into what it wanted me to be?

I should of fought for myself
People keep telling me to fight but I'm not really sure if there is anyone left to fight for.

16, Beautiful, Damaged

2 years ago,
I found out i was pregnant
Carrying a child  whose father i don't even know
A man who ***** me in my sleep
And left me with nothing but pain

Despite so,
I wanted to keep my child
I wanted to take care of him
But life doesn't always goes as planned

It wasn't my decision to keep him
But during the time i had him,
I was the happiest
Because i had fallen in love
With a baby i have not met
A child i swore to take care
A child that made me love myself
In order to love him

Losing him
Was heartbreaking

If i could turn back time
I wouldve taken good care of myself
So i can have you in my life right now
But at the same time
I would've wished i never met the man
Who left you and me

2years ago today
I made a foolish mistake
But i never once regretted having you in my life

I love you still
I will love you always

dancing slowly to the sound of your voice in my head

but the morning comes and washes away the dreams

from the glances in the deep end of a pool of people

you appear through the crowd and smile

proceeding to walk to anyone else but I



all I ever wanted was a moment where you could come to me

to say a few words, this and that, it matters little

but I am the only one who realizes this click

                                     that is floating away slowly



all you would ever care to tell me is the basics

the airy feeling between us, the miles, the walls

***** me in once again as the strings on your heart don't pull

and lets me think of a time where I wish I knew you since forever



how could I have been so blind and so disrupted

every thought of you wrapped inside reality and dreams(that will continue for eight million years)

although at times it feels like I'm not even walking anymore



and the time flies out the window and kills itself



it's done with you and I



and on the First day God created you

to walk amongst the angels in pure bliss

to smile and light up the world

to flow between souls and make them feel rested



on the Second day God created I

the first thing I ever saw was You

and you didn't say much

but I knew it would be important



the Third day rolled around the corner and God created a picture of emotion

a flowing river of thoughts and dreams

for me to experience but not recognize for #2years

and like a child lost in a sea of people, looking for his mother, I found you once again



on the Fourth day God created a hero

someone for me to look up to and follow in His footsteps

someone I detested for a years suddenly looked like a dream-

one I wished I could become



and become I did, and glances at you still swam around me

and the more and more I smiled the better it got

and at some moment it all became clear that this is what I needed

as I became who I needed to be (moreso than anyone else but you)



and on the Fifth day God created Doubt

to crawl inside my heart and rip it apart

but it did not matter, because I still could look at you

and feel safe and warm



(but now I realize that the efforts will matter none)



on the sixth day god created a revelation

a smack you in the face cold hard truth

and in that moment I looked for my Hero

but alas, he was nowhere to be found

could I talk to him, I would find strength

but all that I could think about is talent

love slowly drifted away

and I felt like I no longer needed to care

but oh how I wish you would not disappear forever



(but within the visions, the memories, and the dreams I came to realize there would be no Whisper worth knowing-

-and I disappear within the vision:



For on the Seventh day god created another

one you knew just as well

and it could have all been a lie in the first place, but at this point I'm not forced to care

because you'll be walking with him; just like you, not giving me a chance

and I'll sit on my couch for years

anotheroneturnedintoadreamofathousandpluspeople



on the eighth and final day god finished his materpiece

and looked at his angels and said:

"What do you think?"

and they could not reply from the beauty

and he walked away from the painting



when the #8Eternity hangs on the wall of glory

I remember her as a haze of time

and drift into the ocean

and push the water into the sky

one more time

One heart
The only heart I’ve truly seen
I didn’t pick up no traces of a reoccurring scene
I’ve never loved the same no it wasn’t the same as it would normally be
Visions of the flashbacks
Taking you here with me
One heart yet you captured mine
Such a beauty you have became over time
Your that shadow, the overseer in my heart
The reason I’ve been pulled so apart but remain so strong for so long
I can’t imagine it being another love
No it’s impossible
You can only run into a few good hearts
The ones that love so deeply but acared to get torn apart
There’s no other feeling then when you here
There’s no way I would risk it all again
Unless I had another chance to where I begin
I couldn’t imagine settling
It just seemed so early
But awoke went heart and it stayed so steadily
2-3 years maybe even more
I’m so sick of being sick, the things I’ve always seemed to adore
My mind took control and had me wanting more
Wanting more than I could handle
It just felt like it was worth the risk
2years later did I ever imagine this
How does one seem to exist
How does one go to fix
Something I questioned over so many years
1 heart but so many emotions I missed
The reason I never received another kiss
1 Heart, 1 love is what it is...

In counseling I wrote a poem
It was a letter to my mom .. Whose if you don't know
Died 4/14/01
  

My mom

Mothers are suppose to be their when their babies need them.

Where were you when I. Needed you ..
Have you forgotten you had children?
Where am I suppose to go.. Who am I suppose to turn to when Im feeling weak when I need my mommy..
I remember your smell
The comfort my head laying on your chest and your fingers in my hair.
Emily and I in the backseat. . you driving. All of us singing loud and full of joy to some country song.
I was 14 when you  died
I need you so bad sometimes

I cry alot .. I lashed out .. I hated you for leaving me .
How is it that I end up being the only kid with no family. .
Treatment for the kid who can't handle her mom dying ..
People wonder why I acted out saying you need to stop these anger outbursts ..
****. I doubt anyone stop and thought maybe its normal that Im having a hard time grieving.. Nope
A therapist and 8 kinds of pills for the list of things I must have

Mom you don't know the war in my head the nightmares I felt ..
The darkness that creeper in
The problem child that fat girl that had anger problems gets out of treatment goes to live with grandparents

The kids at school picked on me .. I had no friends
I run home and grabbed a knife and cut my wrist I screamed. Why did you leave me .. Mom where are u

How any I suppose to live without you..

That was 15 yrs ago

Now Im 30
And Im a **** up just like u were ..
At 25 I got to be 500lbs
With a 2 yr old n a 6 month old ..
I chose ****
5 years later

Im sitting here thinking
You chose ****** and was a needle ******. And died at 42..
I love u I forgive u

I messed up .. I had 4 kids . I lost them i became a needle **** ****** that hates herself. .

Im clean now 17 days
Trying to figure out of to go about talking again to your mom...
My grandma.
Haven't talked to her in 2years..
I don't want her to die with out seeing her.

Well mommy. I love you. And say hi to my poppy and Uncle don !

Love Annare

I wonder if you really know
what you've done
I gave you my heart
my trust
my time
and like a spoiled child
it wasn't enough
I wonder if
that one night
was worth our 2years
I try to say
it's not as bad as it is
that you never understood me anyway
that I needed something new anyway
but It doesn't help
all I can do
is move on

I wasn't strong, my knees were weakened by the addiction that feeds  my forsaken life..

To be a amazing person with the ability to overcome it and show the world I'm different then the rest...
To bad so sad I failed the test.

My addiction never fooled ANYONE
I had no idea how strong of a grasp it had on my soul, it took the innocence
And left a big hole.

To think I would  be just fine
That it wouldn't
been blawing my eyes out
Because I lost months of my life..

Disappeared in the blink of an eye..
Wrong of me to think that I would be an exception.

Now this battlefield in my life
A wrecking ball with cracking frames, writhing dreams,
Shattered hopes,
Devastated CRYS
And don't forget guilt ridden
Thoughts separated family
Children with unanswered questions
And fears that **** the soul
For I can't let them know
I chose to not try
And now..
2YEARS LATER I WANT TO SHOW THEM MOMMYS GONNA NOT FAIL
BUT TOO LATE ..
I BAILED
And failed my sweet babies sooo extremely much
---
A few thoughts of suicide entered my brain but that won't solve a thing

So I have 13 years I have to miss of the memories I can't have  but with time .

I can ensure my life will be on the right track
When their 18 with a head on their shoulders. . My chance to be the mother I was supposed  to be
Will be at my feet!

For now its only hopes in my dreams