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---  Oct 2013
6 Months
--- Oct 2013
BEFORE

Before we even started dating
I was very interested in you
I thought
"She's really unique
And cool
And into books
And smart

And cute."
Every move you made
The ease with which you made friends
And of course
How your nose was always in a book.
That interested me a lot
And I still love that
Even when I know
So much more about you.
My observations from outside.


2.  AS I WRITE

I told you I was doing something
For our six months.
It's nothing spectacular
Nothing expensive
Just time
And my thoughts
My love
I hope to put it into these words which I
Preserve for you
Uniquely mine
For uniquely you
And you alone.



3. SUSPENSE

I just told you today
And you ask for my hint
It was in one of my other poems
You read it
But didn't catch it.
It would be obvious if you did see
What the hint is.
And no, these aren't all going to be
Like this
Just basically a diary
No
They will be better.


4. LIST

I like a lot about you love
I even listed some things off to you recently.
Would you like a list?

The cute faces you constantly make
The way you fall asleep in my arms
The way you make my heart skip when you lean on me
The way your mouth moves when we kiss
Your scent that hangs on my clothes after we hang out
The way you bury your face in my chest when falling asleep
The texture of you hair
The way your face lights up when you're truly happy
The way your cheeks are fun to play with
The perfect shape of your body
Your inability to be mad at me
Your anger at people being self-destructive
Your rambles on things that you feel passionate about
Your sheer uniqueness
Your amazing beauty
The way you feel embarassed when you blush
Your quiet whimpers when I whisper that I love you in your sleep
The way you always tell someone when you're annoyed
Your ability to easily make friends
Your addiction to reading
Your crazy music taste
Your refusal to tell me games you play
Your amazing poetry
Your unique way of dressing
Your uncanny ability to look beautiful and **** in anything

And yes, there's thousands more.
But that's enough for now.


5. NIGHT

You know
I think of you always
During class
During sports
During robotics
During my dreams.
You're so great
You just sneak into my mind
And take all control from me.
I'm stuck thinking about you for awhile.
Not that I really mind.


6. SUDDENLY FRAGILE

I've known you for awhile
And now you're fragile
You seemed strong
Never once wrong
And I'm glad I grew close to you
So that I can be here for you
When you need someone
And I always want to be that someone.


7. FIVE

Today
Of all days
I'm sick.
What I wouldn't give
To kiss you once
On the cheek
Or give you a hug
Quickly
Fleetingly
I want to tell you I love you in person
But I cannot
Not today
But I will.


8. FREAKY

Do you know
How crazy it makes me feel
To just think of you?

9. ALONE

I am alone
With nothing but
My thoughts

Of you.
Obviously.


10. PICTURES

I look at the wall
The ceiling
Blank
Naked, but for some scratches
And I wish it was pictures of you
In plain sight
Wherever I look.


11. TRUE HAPPINESS

I know life is hitting you right now
Hitting you pretty hard
Being forced into therapy you don't want
Medicine that hurts your focus
And now it's ******* up your grades
Which in turn make your parents mad at you
And you seem to be despairing
And all I want to do
Is cheer you up
Make you smile
Forget your worries for just a little while.
I do what I can
But I don't think it's
Enough.
But I will keep trying
Every time I talk to you
Text you
Hug you
I hope I can bring you a little closer
To that honest smile.


12. YOU WORRY

You said it's been bothering you
You say I don't have to stay with you
Because I feel obligated
Because of your mental state.
Well
I'm glad you said it
Got it off your chest
But I would never stay because of pity
Because of guilt
No
I stay because of you.
The you-ness of you
You're just so startlingly amazing
Such a stark contrast to other interests I've had
And I love it.
And I love you.
I'm glad I could at least momentarily
Hopefully stop your worrying.


13. BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL

When I think of you
I imagine gazing into your eyes
As I have done so many times
Those infinite, piercing
Beautiful eyes.
Brilliant, shining, beautiful
Just like you.
So wonderful
Calming
I dream of watching your eyes fall asleep
And waking to the very same pair
Happy and alive
Yet so real
Your beauty
And your realness.
Perfection.
I love you
I could say it a thousand timees
And mean it more every
Single
Time.


14. AGONIZING

It hurts me so much
To see you in pain
To know you're hurting.

You're trying to be more
Independant
You say
Well
Sure, be independant
But I want you to run to me
Cry on my shoulder
Because you aren't alone
And I don't want you to prepare for
A time when you could be alone.
Because I plan on staying within reach.


15. QUESTIONS

You lately have seemed
Scared
Afraid that I am staying with you for some
Pity
That I may feel.
Well, let me tell you
That is so wrong.
I feel bad for you
But that is different.
Because I could never date you through pity
I would feel like I was
Taking advantage of you
So don't worry.


16. SO MUCH I COULD NEVER SAY

I love you so
I can not describe it
The feeling
The exhilaration
From catching a glimpse of you in the hallway
I just feel the need to smile.


17. SMILE-INDUCING

Have I ever told you
That everytime you hug me from behind
I just feel uncontrollably joyful?
And when you refuse to let go
I find it cute
And I just want to stay like that


18. GOOD MORNING

A dream we both have
I want so very badly
To fall asleep holding you close
Singing to you the lullaby of my beating heart
Listening to your breath slow and relax
The perfect weight of your body against my own
And for you to be the last thing I see before I close my eyes
And the first thing I see when awakened
To make fun of your bedhead as the day's first light
Illuminates the room gently
To tell you how I love you
Before you can think anything else
Now only a dream
Someday it will happen.


19. TO RUN AWAY

I wannt to forever hold you
To hide away where nobody can find us
No schedules to disturb us
No cold to riddle our skin with
Goose-bumps
No agony tearing at our hearts
No painful reminders of the past
As the days blur into weeks
Into months
To hold you forever
In solitude.


20. WORRY

Why, love, are you so worried as of late
That you have changed?
I love every version of you
And I'm continually amazed at your ability
To cope
To prevail
But you are not strong enough alone my love.


21. LASTING

I have a feeling
That we will last
Overcome the odds
For a relationship that will endure
Past school
Past our new experiences
Past our differences
And bring us ever closer
More in love
As I feel myself falling for you more everyday


22. MARVELOUS

I never feel quite as amazing
As when I have you laying on my chest
Relaxed and falling asleep
With a blanket
A movie
Relaxation
No upcoming deadlines
Nothing else matters
Just the warmth of you relaxing on me
And my feeling of content.


23. DISCUSS

I love that we can discuss
Our different
Yet similar
Religions.
Yours as yet unnamed
Mine becoming again pure
And we can grow from this
And we become stronger.
And if we disagree about something
We can have a discussion about it
Though I keep my mouth shut
If I have the potential to start an argument
And we stay civil


24. LIST

One of your guesses as to
What I was doing when I hinted about this
A list.
Alright, you inspired me.
Words to describe you.
Beautiful
Intelligent
Different
Crazy
Startling
Lovely
Cute
­Modest
Mesmerizing
Relatable
Foreign
Sad
Lost
Stubborn
Sensitive
­And lastly for now
Theloveofmylife


25. TERRIFIED

Having you in my life is
Terrifying.
I worry so much
About your well being.
I wish I could be your knight in shining armor
But I just
Can't.
Society doesn't leave room for heroes.
It only attempts to create villains.
But you and I
We can resist it
Because society ***** anyway
And we're invincible.


26. DROWSY

When I fall asleep
The last thing on my mind is you.
And it's not just a thought that pops in then.
It starts when I am drowsy
And on the edge of sleep.
I imagine you snuggling close
Burying your face in my chest
Inhaling deeply and
Relaxing.


27. COMFORTABLE

I am glad that you can
Be relaxed enough around me
To fall asleep randomly.
And I love how, even in your sleep, you
Snuggle close
Twitch your hand three times
And whimper whenever I whisper into your ear
"I love you"


28. EXCITED

I love being with you
I love holding you close
Your breathe in my ears
The pounding of your heart
Speeding up when we kiss
Your happy sighs
Pulling me closer
Warming me in this new coming chill.


29.  HEAT

You are warm
You are hot
You keep the chill away
Heck, we could be in the snow without any significant
Warm clothing
And as long as I could hold you close
I could remain there forever.


30. PERFECT LOVE

You are my perfect love
The one for me
The two of us
Can do anything
Beat any odds stacked against us.
Overcome any hardship.
Just wait until we can escape to our life
We can win this race love
Destroy anyone who seeks to foil us
Or just ignore them
They aren't worth our notice
If they try to bring us down.


31. LIGHT

I look into your eyes today
And they are beautiful
As they always have been
I can lose myself in your eyes
The sight behind them
The intelligence
And so much more.
You're startlingly great
And I can't help but want to be around you.
J  Aug 2014
Love Sick Puppy
J Aug 2014
At times you seem perfect
But when you don't reply
I die inside

All I think when I see you
Is how you looked
The day I woke you up

The look of..
Let me sleep..
But its nice being with you

Where, for a second
I felt you wanted me.
Why can't that be everytime?
Think it's finally time to give up
Julian Revà  Feb 2018
Unfollow
Julian Revà Feb 2018
I recently have noticed
how sick I look on you
everytime you post a pic
or share a moment

I look sick following you
Everytime that you try
to make your life apart
I look sick when I follow you
not through dark alleys
but on twitter, facebook
or instagram

I am not used to write
odd modern poetry
but you deserve a reason
to why I started
unfollowing you

So, everytime you upload
a last-night-party pic
I want you to know I won't be there
looking for every guy you were
hanging around with

Because lately I've noticed
that I look sick not for following you
                                            exactly
but for being aware
of what you were doing

I'm sick of being a post
instead of being a memory
I'm sick of social media
and their way of twisting things

Making us more a number or dates
instead of making us "friends"
(who says that you can't be friend with your ex?
maybe ancient rules, maybe an idiot
with post-traumatic-relationship-stress)

I'm sick of "follows", "tweets", "likes"
ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends

I'm unfollowing you for my health
I'm unfollowing the entire world 'cause
constantly they remind me to you
with all their fake friends and ***** guys
and ***** girls; ******* attention that
maybe they don't truely deserve

Yeah, probably I should unfollow the world
                                                     for my health
someone Aug 2015
one. ****. she'll make you curse a lot.
that's all that'll roll off your tounge everytime you'd want to describe how she makes you feel.

two. that girl is funny. i don't think you can have a bad day if she's around. i don't even think she'll try to make you laugh, i think with her it comes naturally.

three. she'll make you feel alive. you will want to experience it all with no one else but her. she'll keep you at a high you'd never reach on your own. DON'T bring her down with you when you hit rock bottom. DON'T drag her with you anywhere she doesn't belong.

four. she'll sometimes be out of reach. more like, most times. let her be. she deserves all your time. all your days and nights. but only if she asks for it. you should a l w a y s check up on her, though. (ask how her day went. ask her how she's feeling.) make sure her "i'm okay" is sincere. make sure her days are more than just "fine".

five. listen to her. she'll always have something to say about everything, but she won't always say it. listen to her. let her talk about everything she wants to talk about. talk about it with her. i doubt you'll ever have enough of her.

six. when she doesn't want to talk, don't ask her to. be comfortably silent with her when she needs some quiet, but make sure your presence is loud. don't ever make her feel alone.

seven. she's special. treat her like she is. you should n e v e r let her second guess what she means to you. you should n e v e r make her rethink your love for her.

eight. don't go through one day without telling her you love her. she won't believe you, but you should never stop reminding her. she doesn't have to feel what you feel back, but she has to acknowledge that someone out there has her on their mind, day and night. always let her know she's important.

nine. she can be stubborn, and at most times she will be. i have a love/hate relationship with that quality of hers. let her have her own way. don't bug her about her choices. but, keep in mind there's nothing wrong with not agreeing with her sometimes.

ten. don't hurt her. not because she's fragile, but because she doesn't deserve it. for ***** sake, she deserves more than you can ever offer.  and for that, you should give her your all. or at least you should keep trying to

eleven. don't just tell her you trust her, but also show her you do. she won't take your word for it. let her in. open up. spill your heart out to her, and know she'll have her arms wide open. she won't let you seep through.

twelve. she's passionate. i can imagine her eyes gleaming when she talks about what she loves. you can feel it through your phone screen. i'll hunt you down and feed on your flesh if you try to shut her up. yes, she is passionate, but not about most things. and she won't talk about it with everyone. so you better ******* listen when she tries to share this part of herself with you. or leave. ******* leave her if you won't love her right.

thirteen. she's smart as ****. not the lame, "i get good grades" kinda smart. but the kind, that never fails to blow my mind. treasure her brain.

fourteen. i've never seen someone who wants to read as much as she does, but has zero willpower to. read to her. read to her like i've always wanted to, but never got the chance to. whether it be prose or fiction, or some fact you read off the newspaper. never stop reading to her.

fifteen. please, never lie to her. don't make promises you can't keep. you'll lose her. ****. if you lost her, you would lose all that could make your life meaningful.

sixteen. don't give up on her. please, never give up on her. she's not always easy to deal with, and neither are you. but to god, she's worth it. she's worth all of it.

seventeen. you'll never love her more than i do. but you sure as **** need to try your ******* best to make sure you're never the reason behind any of her troubles. don't **** up. don't **** up like i did.
Is it wrong for me to hate you?
Its so hard not to love you.
Everytime I try to move on with my life..
You just have to go and make things all right.
Just know I don't need you.
Do note how bad I want you.
Because when I'm gone.
Thats the end of our song.

Is it wrong for me to say this?
Why is it so hard to move on?
If I  said none of this.
Would you still play along?
As if we're still in love.
Like we never even stopped.
Maybe I should've stop.
Forget what I said, its dropped.

There is something that we love about us.
Its a shame that we both mask it with lust.
Guess we were never meant to be.
That future will stay a mystery.

I remember how we were.
Just years ago.
The world was our own.
And i held you so high.
Stars in your eyes.
How I fantasized.
Until you ****** it up for us.
So now, I'm gone.
Can't take this pain no more.
So tonight I'll give my loving.
But tomorrow I leave with yours.

Is it wrong for me to say this?
Why is it so hard to move on?
If I had not said any of this.
Would you still play along?
As if we're still in love.
Like we never even stopped.
Maybe I should stop.
Forget what I said, its dropped.

There is something that we love about us.
Its a shame that we both mask it with lust.
Guess we were never meant to be.
That future will stay a mystery.
I feel really good about this one! haven't written in months...enjoy all! Thoughts opinions?!?! Im just hoping no one forgot About me. I fell into a bad state of depression but it inspired me to write through my struggles and aftef waiting so long to write something i finally found enough courage to do just that. Thank you all again.
Torin  Sep 2018
she moves to me
Torin Sep 2018
she moves to me
whether in a picture or sat against the sea
as a cloud she floats gently above me
the currents and the streams
her neck where sections sit
the way her necklace rests ever so delicately
her soft brown skin
through all this land
she moves to me

she is
gold
sunshine on a crystal morning
and pearls
silk
nothing
everything

she moves to me
whether its a mirror or stood against the sky
as the music the cosmos makes in our silence
the stars and the planets
her neck where moons beam
the way her necklace follows her collorbone
through all this space
she moves to me
whether its gravity or we as entangled particles
and we are in every moment as we are together
our quantum dancing
her neck where time begins
the way her necklace falls so gracefully into place
through all this time
she moves to me

I kiss her just below her right ear
and I know now is everywhere
and everytime is now
the sun and the moon
the spiral galaxy
the walls that hold in time
I kiss her just below her right ear

she moves to me
whether its the wind or impossible odds
as the dreams we hold dear and our hope that keeps us strong
our faith and love
her neck which i caress gently
the way her necklace seems to retire when she does
I kiss her on the eyelids
she moves to me
Styles  Nov 2015
Selfworth
Styles Nov 2015
If you change  something about yourself,
Everytime someone tells you who are,
Then you will never be yourself.

— The End —