To the nights
When thoughts become to loud
Making me loose my sleep
Thinking why is it has to be this way
From thinking why it had to be that way

To the nights
When I am too numb to even fall asleep
When I can't even feel my heartbeat
From these thoughts taking over me
To the moment when I can't breath

To the nights
From wanting this feeling to last forever
To end this by all means
From screaming till I can't breath
But deciding to stay silent till i suffer in deep.

To the nights
When I cry till I fall asleep
To staring at the ceiling till the night leaves
From rembering every mistake
To rembering why everyone who left without saying goodbye.

To the nights
When I wish I could just die
To wanting to have this feeling till it takes over me
From thinking about every person who left me
To realising how I lost myself along the way.

To the nights
With scattering thoughts.

Hey there girl
you know it's been awhile
since we road down back roads
just rackin' up the miles

you are so very beautiful
I love that turquoise blue
black and pink accentuate
your frame in subtle hues

the rubber we were layin'
really brings me there
remembering the miles
wind blowin' through my hair

I really miss the rides
that brought you to the end
if an unrewarding Journey
this wish to you I send

One that we could travel
behind that steering wheel
bringing  lovely thoughts to me
in which you made me feel

that engine why it purred
and sounded badass loud
drivin'  'round with you
it always made us proud

Perhaps one might have guessed
you're really just my truck
I'm sorry that your engine died
For running out of luck

I can still remember
our favorite fishing trips
Way out in the woods
You always kept your grip

down some rugged roads
  kept us safe from harm
I hear you got a new life
You didn't bite the farm!

So keep those people happy
and sing a tune for me
rembering the time
we raised ....
  a family

I'll try not to be sad
and let this be farewell
they say you're just a thing
in this I must not dwell

If energy lives on
those memories  never died
like you're beating engine
on which our lives relied.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

Hearing a voice sounding familiar
Making my way to the living room
Looking at a person with an old face
Rembering it was my grandfather.
Looking at him made me cry
He was sick, couldn't talk or walk.
It hurt looking at him.
It was like bullets shooting through my stomach.

Seeing my grandpa smiling at me
Telling me he is okay
I knew he was wrong
Leading him to the bedroom
Crash! He is hurt

Blood in his nose
Hearing him cry
My dad helps him up
My tears flowing like a river
Next day came
He is lying down
Lying down with him made me safe
Looking up on his face
Seeing him smile down at me
Midnight has come
Seeing him asleep
Waking him up for a glass of milk
Shaking him
No movement
Crying, screaming, and yelling
I knew my grandfather  was dead

    By Eveline

I ingest these poisons
with the hope
That they will help me
forget.
Forget work and
it's opposite,
life.
To forget who I am
what I think
what Ive done
I ingest these poisons
because of how
unbarable
the alternative is
Because this mind
isn't mine.
It belongs
to someone else.
Rembering this
is frustrating.
Which is why I ingest these poisons.

I miss you
So much it contracts on me
Out of the sweet baby blue sky
Your name is pulled bitter as lemon

I miss you
My childhood sweet heart
I cry for you like a raven
What we once were was messed in parting

I miss you
My head is pounding throbbing
Rembering the years long love
Only to find out twas returned back

I miss you
Too late I fear
For we've both moved on melancholy
But the future together could have been so much better

I miss you
For that's the way the clocks chime
Cogs spinning further apart
Why didn't the paths stay the same

I miss you
It could have been insanely easy
Knitting together like ever before
But I've made a different choice

Forgetting that I miss you
And ever so want to kiss you
Quite lightly on the cheek

I get carried away sometimes
To a place I forsake one time
Rembering something alive
I ask myself how could it die?
I say that it's not my fault
Lies
Lies
I spread em to cover the fault
My
Demise
My veil won't cover the eyes
The drink won't smother the cries
I think of my love as a prize
But really though what is it worth
I really dont covet the hurt
And what does it mean to her?
And what does she think of me now?
And what does she think of me now?

Years to the back
No word back
I gave her my soul and she heard that
I've come to collect the return, stat
Or maybe I'm yearning to turn back
Or maybe I'm burning the whole act
Shake spears till I **** up the whole pact
The poetry can't bring a thing back
I'm over the camping on been-hads
It's what I tell myself when I'm this sad
I'm a shell of myself and
Why would she bother
No mother no father
I grew up alone but I guess I'll go farther
Distance yourself from the trauma
No one around me, that is my armour
I am alone but that is my karma

Monsters are real you see.
Yet they don't hide under your bed.
Rather they live inside your head.
They are memories from the past.
There rembering all your mistakes. There calories in food.
There the drepression you face.
There the voices in your head.
There the reflection in the  mirror.
There scars you hide.
Everyone has monster's inside.
Some have more than others.
Some can fight them no problem.
While others it's a constant war.
Those who battle this war may fall weak here and there.
After all it's tiring fighting a constant  war.
That's why some turn to anseptics.
That just cause more self hate.
The war may never end.
But hopefully you'll find a price or princess.
One that can help you through your struggles.
Who will stick by you and show you true love.
Together you could fix each other.
Together you could win this war.

times where I just stare blankly out my window.
Times when nothing is happening,
Silence drowning everything out.
Seeing a thousand faces at once,
Rembering every memory.
leaving nothing unseen,
letting everything come out when the moonlight hits.
Without words everything is said,
As if there was someone listening.
As I were talking to someone,
This un-natural feeling overwhelms me
Feeling like a drug taking over feeling the pain of it all,
Like heroine coursing through my veins.
a type of chilling freezing feeling.
Yet when it's over everything feels warm ligther like a weight lifted.
Then I realize that I see the sun rising.
It then hits me,
My body feels heavier again.
The beginning of a new cycle of sorrow another day gone by,
And again my body goes through another sleepless nights...

Me: Hello,
Him: Hello ,hey
Me: Can I ask you a quick question?
Him:Sure ask anything,
Me:Can I move on now,It's been 4 months
Him:Why have you met someone else?
Me: No I havent because I keep waiting for you,
Me: You call me all sorts of pet names knowing I love you then nothing
Him: I thought I told you its nothing serious.
Me:Rembering I gave  him my virginity,Him introducing me to his family as his wife to be,Him showing me off and then the fights,his anger issues and then him finally dumping me and me seeing him all over another girl
Him:Listen I just started seeing someone else it's been two weeks
Him: I don't want things to change between us,
Him: Ash are you there?
Him: Hey ASh?
Me: Coahz I loved you so much I waited for for months for you to stop being angry,I lost my virginity to you ,spent money on you,was it not enough ,I'm I not enough never mind tho,thank you for ...
Him: Fuckkk
Him:Hangs up

i cant cry anymore all the tears have dried
i can feel the hurt eating me inside
living in the shadows every single day
how you broke my heart when you walked away.

i cant sleep at night my eyes they just wont close
all i see is you as i begin to doze
thinking of the way that it used to be
when you were in my arms lying next to me.

now all i have is lonliess a heart thats broke in two
all the love has gone that i shared with you
rembering the times when you were here with me
and the way it was when you still loved me

i cant sleep at night my eyes they just wont close
all i see is you as i begin to doze
thinking of the way that it used to be
when you were in my arms lying next to me.

now im just a shadow of what i used to be
memories of the past i look back and see
when were together with a love so strong
that we shared together before it all went wrong

i cant sleep at night my eyes they just wont close
all i see is you as i begin to doze
thinking of the way that it used to be
when you were in my arms lying next to me.