I drown in your nonchalance
Complaining and kicking out for help
Don't oppose the sea
It's Forbidden
Scary
Anything it does wrong not its own fault
It's the way the wind blows
And how could you control the wind?
So the waves keep rising and falling onto my head
Not taking notice when I'm screaming out for help
It's one droplet of salt in the sea they say
But it's not just one it's many
It claws your eyes and makes you ache
I'm thrashing frantically waving for help
But the sea doesn't SEE
It's pushed me down below
And it accuses the wind

Banging banging banging
Against the head board
Thinking of good reasons to do things
Head growling humming whispering
Good enough but not good enough
Every which way spinning
Convulsing
Bright lights in the corner
But how to reach it
Turn it off
It's too big of a glimpse
Into what's in store
Just so infuriatingly close
Just so far

You bore me
With your trivial formalities
Stiff ironed ways
Particular uptight wants
I feel tucked in
Blanketed over
Because I imagine things so much better
And I can't move on
If I've fought this hard
Repairing the stigmas
Stitching up and down
A feathery pillow
Not quite relaxing and wanting to be there
I don't want to turn into them
Waiting and waiting
Tossing over a duvet
Afraid to crinkle
Upsetting the delicate folds  
Calm down
Loosen up and be yourself
Unless that is the real you
And if so
You bore me

I miss you
So much it contracts on me
Out of the sweet baby blue sky
Your name is pulled bitter as lemon

I miss you
My childhood sweet heart
I cry for you like a raven
What we once were was messed in parting

I miss you
My head is pounding throbbing
Rembering the years long love
Only to find out twas returned back

I miss you
Too late I fear
For we've both moved on melancholy
But the future together could have been so much better

I miss you
For that's the way the clocks chime
Cogs spinning further apart
Why didn't the paths stay the same

I miss you
It could have been insanely easy
Knitting together like ever before
But I've made a different choice

Forgetting that I miss you
And ever so want to kiss you
Quite lightly on the cheek

I have no dreams
No aspirations
But I'm driven forward
Ever receiving
With capabilities for miles
But I can't fulfill them
Because I just don't know
Passionless for a particular thing
No pet habits
But still good
Still scraping by
Exceeding expectations
With nothing to live up to
No title to nurture

Sweat and rubber
Chafes against my toes
Polish chipped like a porcelain doll
Hurling juvenile patter around
Like drops of sweet rain
Cooling the smouldering tirade
Flying on horseback
Wind twirling non-existing
Scalding coils spurt up limbs
Bubbling out in incandescent mirth
Linking and tripping
Stumbling doggedly along
Ridged gelatinous arcs
Superior to the first incline
Propelling ever up

I sit numb
Mood swings bipolar
Tendrils of ice reach in
Curling round the window pane
Loosening the stuffy holds
Obliterating them in shards
Of cold gripping suffocating
Yet I don't relieve it
I sit numb
Strapped down forced to think
Of a reason to dare
A sneak behind a window pane
To close it for good
And prevail against the bitter arms
Or I could just sit numb
Aloof from it all
Elevated and ice bound