It's 4 a.m.

I have spent the night
Trying to write
A heartfelt phrase of clever verse

Each stanza is just worse and worse
I fail to create
Anything of worth

How can I describe
How I basically
Want to tear out my heart
To give to thee?

I want to pull out the gory strings
And write you a ****** love song.

How can I transcribe
The look in my eyes
As they blink when
You're away from me

They flutter open and close, as a sign of hope
That you might be there the next time.

I have tried comparing you to a summer's day
But a summer day does nothing for me-
I want to compare you to a tempest of force
That has swept me into a lovesick fantasy.

I have tried composing some poetry
That could attempt to configure
The colour of your eyes
But all I could come up with
Were ****** metaphors and signs
That simply would not
Do.

Their presence is not "you".
You are you,
and you are far away,

Doing something with someone else.

I write for therapeutic torture,
Woefully convinced that should I be able to craft something
Reminiscent of this attraction
It might be generated right back.

I would be rightfully wrong.

And yet I continue to write.

knowing names and faces
is not enough

is not enough to put on
a superficial screen of pleasantries

i can listen
and not listen
with a smiling sheen

while i think of deep personal problems
that i am not keen
to show anybody

but my real friends.

they say
to get someone into bed
is not a simple task

but the harder task
is to undress someone
one layer at a time
get deep within their skin
cutting off their protection
knowing them fully
so that you
have changed their lives

it's far easier to be ****
than it is
to be vulnerable.

i could take off your shirt
or know what makes your blood boil
i could enter into you
or have my voice haunt your thoughts
i could invade private places
or the spaces you desperately hide

i could make you laugh
or make you cry

your body is rather finite
i'd rather infiltrate your mind
so that our insides translate the same
despite coming from different origins

a kiss on the mouth
or a enrapturing of the heart
that beats harder for love
than it does lust

have fun in daze onto the dusk
or contemplate what will become of us

they say
it's fun to ****

i'd rather love
and try my luck.

It is a pity that these circumstances
that have brought us together
will be the very same ones that rip us apart.
This does not mean that I will stop loving you from afar.

I'm not asking for too much
I'm not asking for anything at all
And suddenly mediocrity is magical and sufficient.
It's efficient to let yourself be inspired by little things
That
In reality
Are rather,
"Just fine"
And we continue the day with our heads held towards the sky
Even if it's always nighttime inside

And I sigh
I sigh because nothing excites nor impresses
Nor angers nor frustrates nor makes me react

For I expect nothing
To shield myself off
In this world of barriers
I'm lost.

You got that look I like
where wrong looks right
And a sheen in eyes
that twinkles bright
To me it's might
To me, it's a fight
To what I might find
If I grab the light
The chance is slight
To fall from heights
I've fallen before
It hurts like *****
The world turns white
My chest breathes tight
I know,
I'm never gonna be the one you like

Everything feels automatic and fixated
I've found an algorithm to help me mindlessly move through time
I've found a way to **** time-
Because I don't know what to do with it
By the time I have, I won't have enough.