heart of sadness
follows the eyes
of madness
into the scream of night.

who dares to dream
in a starless night?

war and peace then war and love

and all nightmares are real
staring into

a starless night,

and all we have
are the flames
stolen from a screaming night,
and all we have are each other.

I step outside
I stand beneath
the cold blue stars
I listen to my
own heart beating
I feel it pound the
breath of my love
the night air brings
a familiar sting
there are no corners
in this sacred space
I study the movement
of anxious leaves
as they desperately
hold on to the
midnight trees
they allow me to
believe in this solitude
like it’s some kind of truth
something spiritual
something intangible
as the sleeping flowers
lean towards tomorrow
as the waves of emotion
recede into the shadows
sorrow is no longer
a stranger …
Clay.M

I am Woman that is certain
But what makes me unique
Join me on this journey as I peel away the layers and look further than skin deep

I AM Wife and Lover
I AM Mother and Grandmother
I AM Daughter and Sister
I AM Aunty and Niece
I AM Goddaughter and Godmother

I AM Runner and Walker
I AM Listener and Talker
I AM Reader and Writer
I AM Settler and Traveller

I AM Serious and Funny
I AM Sociable and Discreet
I AM Reliable and Dependable
I AM Cold and Heat

I AM Fun and Loving
I AM Kind and Giving
I AM Generous and Mean
I AM Nervous and Calm

I AM Supportive and Demanding
I AM Giver and Taker
I AM Lover and Fighter
I AM Adventurous and Squeamish

I AM Slow and Fast
I AM the Future and the Past
I AM Classless and Class
I AM Familiar and Unique

I AM **** and Desirable
I AM Small and Curvy
I AM Smart and Sassy
I AM Happy and Sad

I AM Rich and Poor
I AM Foolish and Wise
I AM Lucky and UnLucky
I AM Courageous and Weak

I AM the sum of all my parts, I AM ME from my skin to my heart.

Who are you?

flower of passion
petals like moist lips in rain
spring bids good morning.

IN FOG EVERYTHING IS THE GHOST OF ITSELF...SO IT IS.

alas poor Scrooge
I knew him
a fellow of infinite jest

a lover
of all things
Christmas

why he wouldn't say
boo
to a ghost

the kindest
caringest
loving
loan shark
in all of this here
dreary town

kept me going
through hard times
even though my life

was only
rust & dus
rust & dust

"People
mutht be
amuthed!"

he'd always say
in that Sleary way

wot happened
to the old
geezer

why there is not
a body
doesn't know dat

ended up Marshallsea
Debtor's prison along
with old John Dickens.

ya know
Charlie's
father

for want of
an unpaid baker's bill
a good man was lost

to his self
drove him mad
it did so it did

now that Marley
on the other hand
'ard as nails....

*

HARD TIMES was at one stage possibly going to be RUST AND DUST. And of course it is Mr. Sleary in HARD TIMES who professes: "People mutht be amuthed!"
Dickens' dad John was the one who was sent to Marshallsea for not paying his baker's bill.
Scrooge going to the light side of course will be the ruin of him as a money lender 'cos he has become just too too nice and let's everyone off! Marley instead of being dead...'dead as a doornail" is very much alive and horrible to boot.

As well as being as "myriadminded' as Coleridge proposes to be and as humorous as could possibly be...old Charlie just wrote beautiful English! I always remember the section with great affection of how the house came to find itself in the street it was in in A CHRISTMAS CAROL.

As I do of the beautiful section in OUR MUTUAL FRIEND when in talking a bit about...mist Chapter 57 if ya wanna look it up.

"The moon had gone down, and a mist crept along the banks of the river, seen through which the trees were the ghosts of trees, and the water was the ghost of water."

That sticks in my head as pure poetry and whatever the story is what I really really remember!

You can now see how and why my title is concocted as I wanted to pay homage to those words and to get a chance to knock around with Charlie and his cast of characters.



"They were gloomy suite of rooms, in a lowering pile of building up a yard, where it had so little business to be, that one could scarcely help fancying it must have run there when it was a young house, playing at hide and seek with other houses, and have forgotten the way out again."

I never expected from you
The look in eyes
Something new
And the way hand is grazing my back
Turning me into an insomniac

In the beginning was casual
Was trying to be logical
It seems you've set my world aflame
Now I'll never forget your name

Before you arrived
My domain was dark and damp
You lit it up
My personal lamp
In one brief moment senses fell apart
Touched and lightning struck my heart

Your smile rescued me from depths of Hell
Without trying cast on me some kind of spell
Standing beside you
Enjoying whatever I can
Because at present from my perspective;
You're Superman

The Beast broke free, love set him whole,
While I remain, a Phantom soul.
His curse was lifted, his heart now sings,
But my humanity only stings.

No mask of fur, no monstrous guise,
Just human hands and hollow cries.
A heart that yearns, a fate unkind—
A curse of flesh, a shattered mind.

The Beast found joy, his pain released,
But I, unmasked, am still the beast.

You call me your dog,
your *****, your fool,
hurling words like stones
to shatter my heart.

I wag my tail anyway,
smiling through trembling lips,
fetching scraps of kindness
from the shadow of your hands.

You call me useless,
a beast beyond learning,
but I only want to please you—
to sit, to stay, to love.

Even as you turn away,
your voice cracking the whip,
I crawl through every wound,
bearing the weight of your name
like a leash around my soul.

For to be your dog
is still to be near you,
and I, the fool,
would bleed to feel you call me mine.

I called them "grown ups"
Until I was old enough to realize
That some of them didn't grow up

From my experience
Mostly for bad
But sometimes for good