I walked into my empty room and
This was the feeling I was trying
To put into words earlier today,
My fingers tremble over the keys
The way they do over your skin
Because there are no words for that.
But here it is, returning again,
It hit me like a bullet in the back,
A pang that feels like you’ve been
Punched in the stomach,
And you never know when it’s coming.
But I feel you in the clothes that lay sprawled out on
The floor, in the vast expanse
Of your side of the bed,
Coffee and cigarettes used to be my glue
When my heart had as many cracks as a sidewalk,
But you came along and made it brand new,
Oh god, you have.
And here I am, alone again, my fingers
Still aching from clutching you so close,
The spaces between them spelling
Your name in the most ardent cursive,
And I think I won
The race I had with the sky today,
I think my tears fell faster and harder
Than the rain. Forever was just another
Word in the dictionary before you exhaled
It into my mouth, but now it’s
All I can seem to think about,
The feel of our tangled limbs
Our ’I love you’s waltzing together in our kisses,
Not even the force of the world
Could have pulled us apart.
And I could go on,
But all I want you to know is
That I almost turned the car
Around a thousand times,
I got choked up
As soon as I let you go,
Because leaving you is
So sad that even sadness
Didn’t know how sad it
Could get.
Maybe some day I’ll make sense.
And now the hour’s growing late
And all I crave is the sound
Of your heartbeat,
I feel you in the winter
Trees, every city light that
Passes me by,
But mostly in the throbbing
Of my chest,
I place my hand over
My breast and listen
To its sigh,
‘Her, her, her.’