The rides full of adrenaline
The crowd full of laughter
The air full of a variety of smells

A carnival
A place of fun and enrichment

The carny grounds
Someone ends up hurt
Dies on sight

A carnival
Now a place that is closed

An empty place
Full of empty rides
Silent laughter

A carnival
Only a place of dares and bad choices

More death arises
More lost souls wandering
The carny grounds beginning to fill again

A carnival
No longer a place of fun and enjoyment

Screams fill the air in the night
Rides never stop running
A haunting of what was once a beautiful place

A haunted carnival
A place where the spirits roam

Life is pointless
Like an ever revolving top
It'll take it's spin before falling over still
It laughs in your face
Like a bad memory
That resounds in your nightmares
People make it worse
Even though they see your troubles
They make thing complicated by adding their drama
So why?
Why must we go on?
In this never-ending carousel?
Like a haunted carnival
Life is full of terror
And the rides will never end
Until you give in
And leave it forever

I am in so much pain that I can hardly see
But I don't want your sympathy
A poster of an abused to be
Just sing me a lullaby song
To distract me from all the things gone wrong
I just wanna curl into a little ball
To make the wind not as sharp from the fall

I don't want your sympathy
The only times you would look at me
The only way I would cry in pain
Was from the looks of those of shame
But I don't want your sympathy
Take it away or don't look at me

Shiver
Because it's cold
The ice growing colder still
It wraps around your heart
Ripping it apart

It continues on
Growing black
Numbness spreads
You feel nothing but a dull ache
Your body beginning to shake

It shows nothing on the outside
You show only a smile
A mask to hide the cold
You have nothing at stake
For being a fake

It's not like they will notice
The ache inside
The shiver that erupts
The cold in your eye
They will continue to believe your lie

The wall will remain up
Because they don't care enough
To light the fire
To show you the light
Of the world that you lost your fight

I wish I was numb
The pain is overwhelming
Like a knife is implanted within my chest
Not allowing me to breath
Depression is ruling
The heart is aching
The memories are dancing
I'm angry
Barely in control
Lost in my pain of the past
Urges are starting up
Making me itch
Please save me
Please **** me
Shoot me, stab me, drown me
The pain is flowing over
I'm losing control
The thoughts are coming more often
To die is to be relieved
That's what the thoughts are trying to get me to believe
No one understands
Why I wish to be numb

My chest aches
A dull throb
My heart beating
Like a drum

My mind blank
Life shocked it
Into a silence
A loud quiet

I sit down
In a corner
In soft loneliness
Always forever alone

Sometimes I cry
Mostly I stay
In my misery
A personal hell

Hurt too much
Abandoned too often
Life mislead me
To this hell

People hurt me
Saying mean things
Now I think
Horrifying beautiful thoughts

It's their fault
For these ideas
Of lonely suicide
A quick relief

Round and Round
In my head
They happily dance
Because of them

One good slice
On the wrist
Blood flowing freely
My red savior

A pill bottle
Of sweet narcotics
Sleep is everlasting
It's beautiful freedom

Driving too fast
It's so dark
Just a swerve
A black heaven

Numbness overtakes me
Should I partake?
Am I brave?
Too much feeling

Life fades away
The soul cries
Alone in darkness
Realizing something awful

I gave up
Only to find
Pain is everlasting
I still hurt

Her name is Katherine
I call her Katie
She and she alone is my best friend
She listens to my problems
And helps distract me
From a life of pain and complications
Lately, she and she alone has been my rock
A long time ago
Had it not been for her
I would have gone into darkness and swallowed whole
Losing myself to the shock

I have a sister and brother
A middle child I am
Although there are three
My parents only acknowledged two

Now there is my sister
The youngest of the three
The baby and most loved
She likes to make mom cry
And claims she wants to die

The oldest is my brother
Kicked out long ago
He liked to do drugs
And hit me
He loved to fight with my father
And destroy the peace, Slaughter

My mother
Loves my sister
And claims my brother
Me however
Well I'm a disappointment
Never good enough
A lecture
Never a nice gesture

And last there's my father
Who picks on me
But that's ok because that's how he loves
But he's never home
Always at work
And sides with my mom
When he isn't making her yell at him
He hits really hard
And when he plays it's rough
I figure it's because he's trying to make us tough

That's my family
Not always nice
Many of the reasons I cut my skin with a knife
Because I can't help it, that this is my life.